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Weirdest things you've done to get off

  1. #21
    RisiR † 29 Autism
    To be honest, I have no idea. One time I jerked of to some music video and didn't finish in time and then came "Limp Biscuit - Rollin'" and I didn't stop or switch the channel. Haha. Yea... fuck Fred Durst.

    Though, when I really think about it, it's probably dating a girl for like 2 months without getting to second base. She played me like a motherfucker.
  2. #22
    Pornguy Yung Blood
    Just woke up And dang!. I knew there were some Dirty dogs up in here.

    That one about the 16 year old girl really threw me for a loop.

    I just put on some tea and fired up a dozen gigs or so of porn torrents.
  3. #23
    cerakote African Astronaut
    Originally posted by RisiR † 11 and you rubbed a teddy on your dick?! LOL.

    I think I got my first handjob at 11..

    well it was before age 11, it was probably closer to like 9 since it was 3rd grade or so
  4. #24
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by RisiR † 11 and you rubbed a teddy on your dick?! LOL.

    I think I got my first handjob at 11..

    why so late in life? usually those pedophiles start earlier? unless he was already using your mouth and asshole.
  5. #25
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Pornguy I'm sure someone here can relate.

    I just painted my dick black with a sharpie and jerked myself off and pretended I was giving a black guy a handy.

    This shit won't wash off though.

    get risir to suck your dick...he could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
  6. #26
    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    this fred is proving to be pretty lulzy.




    .
  7. #27
    blackbird Tuskegee Airman
    I used to use random things from around the house to masturbate with before I had any toys, the neck of a beer bottle works pretty well as an improvised sex toy.

    I’ve also squirted shampoo all over myself and pretended a bunch of guys bukkaked me.
  8. #28
    Originally posted by blackbird I’ve also squirted shampoo all over myself and pretended a bunch of guys bukkaked me.

    This is going to go on your tombstone
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  9. #29
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by blackbird I used to use random things from around the house to masturbate with before I had any toys, the neck of a beer bottle works pretty well as an improvised sex toy.

    I’ve also squirted shampoo all over myself and pretended a bunch of guys bukkaked me.

    pics or it didn't happen
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