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The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS

  1. Originally posted by sconraw 2 xyelene is better

    Aww c'mon, that one was funny, don't ruin it
  2. RestStop Space Nigga
    ^That Duck looks faded as fuck brah.
  3. Originally posted by mmQ I wonder how the doctor tells a mom that her baby has a birth defect. Like normally after birth a mom is relieved and happy, but in these cases what, the doctor just looks up and says, "Welp, uhhh, congratulations and whatnot, oh and your baby has no fucking LEGS. Sorry."

    Hahahaha. Picturing this made me laugh. The mom is just holding the baby wrapped in a blanket, thinking everything is alright when the doctor says that. She slowly unwraps her kid and lets out a shriek of abject horror as she sees he does not, in fact, have fucking legs.
  4. 🐯
  5. Originally posted by mmQ Cmon. I want to see it now.

  6. Depression is fucking stupid
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  7. Nothing better than knowing enough of a new language to overhear conversations in public and know what they're about. Feels good, but tones are still terrifying. The most confusing fuckup I've found thus far is 'nar' which can mean (among other things) both 'there' and 'where' and with Chinese grammar you can be like 'Sex shop zai nar' and with a shit accent/no tones you can either be asking where the sex shop is or TELLING people the sex shop is there without pointing or looking anything. I guess I'll know to fix my tone if they start looking around for a sex shop.
  8. mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    you're a hoot and a squalla


    hoe
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  9. cerakote African Astronaut
    im suck bepis xD
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  10. Anybody here ever read Harry Turtledove?
  11. RestStop Space Nigga
    Originally posted by mmQ I wonder how the doctor tells a mom that her baby has a birth defect. Like normally after birth a mom is relieved and happy, but in these cases what, the doctor just looks up and says, "Welp, uhhh, congratulations and whatnot, oh and your baby has no fucking BRAIN. Sorry."

    This is what the doctor told my mom.
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  12. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Piles of Crack Depression is fucking stupid

    I woke up feeling pretty depressed for some reason as well and thinking about suicide, although not to the point where I had more than a mild desire. Took 100mg of flmodafinil after a 2 day break, along with some tea that's particularly energizing, and I still ended up in bed all day, 12+ hours.

    Ash came into the bedroom and instead of her usual hiding spots (corner of room between boxes and closet) she sat on the pillow. When I saw this I pretty much rushed into bed trying not to scare her off, hoping she would stay. I really missed sleeping with Ash, although the Nardil made it much more bearable. My need for others strongly correlates with my emotional state. I let her sleep on the pillow, which was large enough for us to share. One really nice moment was when I lifted the blankets to reach for something and she went under them. Warm, dark, soft, hidden space; exactly what kitty likes. She stayed there sleeping against my chest, which was really nice.

    I just spent the entire day there sleeping with her, grooming her (Triggered some major OCD. It is a natural simian trait, after all.), and petting her to make her happy and purr (Love that sound. It's a shame humans don't have analogous behavior.).

    I just completely lost interest in the world and can't see things the same way. I don't wonder about the world anymore. I understand what life is, what the self is, and it's incredibly disillusioning and a heavy burden to bear. It's futile, devoid of meaning, an absolute horror to be alive, to exist, and the best any of us could have hoped for was never to have been. Kind of hard to be happy when you fully realize and integrate this, know it's the final truth you've come to.

    I was reading about Buddhism, mainly what the Buddha originally taught and how it was misinterpreted and distorted. The two main things, which give Buddhism the appearance of being mystical, and unfortunately most traditions do contain heavy mysticism, along with adherents holding these beliefs, are:

    Reincarnation/rebirth, which has nothing to do with being reborn as another being/creature, but can more accurately be described as the continual "rebecoming" everyone experiences when they have not achieved a realization of the nature of life, causing them to perpetually shift in a manner that leads to suffering.

    And karma, which can simply be described as the (the chain of) causality. How your actions have a ripple effect throughout and interdependent world.

    Along with renunciation. Not simply avoiding attachment to pleasures, but the original practice of the Buddha of completely avoiding them, at least until your mental training, meditative exercises, allow you truly surpass them, and recommended due to the psychological effects these indulgences have, even if you attempt to avoid attachment, the increase and perpetuation of desire and uneasiness, leading to more suffering, ultimately.

    Interestingly the Buddha himself admitted to the enormous difficulty of this process and how depressing it was. It's not meant to be happy, pleasant, undemanding, and rapid.

    One particularly interesting piece I came across was on enlightenment. I already knew it has nothing to do with an exuberant state, it's simply awakening, achieving understanding, and it isn't the final step at all. The description of it that struck me was that it was the moment where you do not merely recognize illusions as illusions, but come to "see" the illusory/inaccurate nature of your perception of various aspects of life/reality.

    Part of the reason why I want to study Buddhism and its practice, particularly the meditative and psychological techniques used, along with possibly psychedelics, is to move past this. Of course, despite what I stated about life, you can still find joy and beauty in it, a reason to live.
  13. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    God I'm glad I'm going back to school, when I run out of things to do or lose interest in what previously kept me occupied, which is really rare, actually, my thoughts repeatedly return to dark places. How much I wish I was never born and desire death, which may actually be my strongest desire and what has been fueling my long history of incredibly self-destructive behavior, along with resentment of reality. I can't believe this happened to me and I'm trapped for life in this, with the only exit currently available being death.

    Ultimately nothing else matters but the endpoint. Whether it's assimilation into AI or death, I just want all this to be over. Nothing in this life will mean a thing at the end.
  14. RestStop Space Nigga
    Originally posted by Malice God I'm glad I'm going back to school, when I run out of things to do or lose interest in what previously kept me occupied, which is really rare, actually, my thoughts repeatedly return to dark places. How much I wish I was never born and desire death, which may actually be my strongest desire and what has been fueling my long history of incredibly self-destructive behavior, along with resentment of reality. I can't believe this happened to me and I'm trapped for life in this, with the only exit currently available being death.

    Ultimately nothing else matters but the endpoint. Whether it's assimilation into AI or death, I just want all this to be over. Nothing in this life will mean a thing at the end.

    Malice is God : Confirmed!
  15. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    this scronpost is worth saving/sharing:

    Originally posted by Six*Six*Scronald4 HERE I GO HERE I HERE I GO AGAIN


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  16. RestStop Space Nigga


    You know honestly one night I thought about killing myself I was so distraught and just upset and being a bit of a bitch until I heard this song and it was like suddenly it all went away and I began to "hulk up" and gained my second wind.
  17. Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Originally posted by mmQ I wonder how the doctor tells a mom that her baby has a birth defect. Like normally after birth a mom is relieved and happy, but in these cases what, the doctor just looks up and says, "Welp, uhhh, congratulations and whatnot, oh and your baby has no fucking LEGS. Sorry."

    You can see deformities on the ultrasound. So i imagine the mom to be would know before birth, besides there's all kinds of tests they can perform these days to check for all sorts of things.
  18. RestStop Space Nigga
    Originally posted by RestStop About a year ago I was involved in a car accident where I was the only fatality in a truck containing 6 people. I remember looking up from the passenger seat and seeing an oncoming vehicle and the rest is just darkness. I couldn't move or speak and could only listen to the screaming of my friends as they escaped the burning truck. Eventually all went quiet and I could hear a soft voice and a man appeared in front of me. The man informed me I was dead and that it was time I move on. Confused, I asked what he was talking about and if this was a dream. The man smiled and said that denial is a part of moving on but agreed to show me proof. Suddenly we were at a funeral viewing and the man carefully guided me up to the casket. After taking a closer look I all but freaked out as I saw myself lying dead in the casket. With my hands trembling as I touched my cold skin reality began to set in.

    “Let’s go” he said. “We can’t stay here forever.”

    I was shocked and began breaking down. I pleaded with the man to help me, after all I was just a sophomore in college with so much life ahead of me. I asked the man if there was anyway he could help me or give me a chance.

    “Well yes, there is one way, but of course like everything it comes at a cost.” He said.

    “What sort of cost? Like my soul?” I replied.

    “No, no, my child I am not trying to take your soul it is already accounted for. However, there is still a price to pay but what exactly it is varies from person to person. Think of it as more of a trade, by accepting this extension you agree to trade me something back.”

    “Will anyone be hurt?”

    “Have no fear; no one will endure any pain. The price may not even be realized immediately, and don’t worry your satisfaction is guaranteed.”

    The man then looked in his coat and pulled out a black book, he flipped through the pages, turned his focus back to me and said:

    “Now if you’re ready to go through with this, please just sign here” He pointed at a blank page in the book.

    “In blood?” I asked

    The man chuckled softly and stated: “No my boy, with this pen”

    He handed me a pen and I began to sign the book. As I finished my signature I began to feel warmth in my chest and the man began to fade away. The last thing he said to me before he vanished was:

    “Bye for now and I hope you are satisfied with this trade.”

    I woke up in a hospital bed and was told I had been in an accident and more importantly I had been the sole survivor of a crash that should have killed me. The doctor stated that it was a miracle I survived unscathed while the others died on impact. He also informed me that I had been in a coma for quite some time but that with therapy I should be back to normal in no time. A while later my parents visited and explained that due to the drunken semi driver hitting us that my friend’s families and my family had gotten some rather large settlements. My parents said that with proper investing and management I wouldn’t have to ever worry about money.

    As you can imagine I wasn’t able to sleep well. Every time my eyes would close I would hear my friends’ screams, this was eventually paired with images of them yelling as flames engulfed them. Having to live in the house 2 of my now deceased friends shared with me didn’t help either. I drink a lot now to try and escape the reality that I selfishly traded my one life for theirs. After all, they were my best friends since elementary and I selfishly traded my own life for theirs. Days, weeks and months went on with me killing bottle after bottle trying to cope with myself all while crazily calling to the air that I wanted to undo this trade. I thought I would never here from the man and that I was just crazy and thought a dream was reality. However, yesterday something strange happened, the doorbell rang and as I carried my hungover self to the door and opened it I realized there was no one there. Looking down I noticed a black business card with red letters lying on the ground with two lines that read:

    “Unsatisfied with your recent trade?”

    “Give me a call!”

    The back of the card had a number paired with an image of the familiar man printed next to it. Nothing prepared me for what was in store for me when I called that number.

    Continued......

    I closed my door and proceeded to pour myself a drink. I wasn't sure what to expect by calling this number but I know I had to. As I finished the glass I picked my phone up and dialed it.

    At first I thought this was just a sick joke, the operator just said: "We're sorry, this number is no longer in service"

    After hearing this I became angered and began to yell at the dead line. I demanded whoever was responsible for all of this to stop. Tears ran down my face as I threw my phone and reached for my whiskey bottle. I poured a shot, took it and immediately felt the warmth of the alcohol going down into my chest. I poured another and drank it quickly, however this time a strange sensation came over me. I began to feel a cold rush down my chest. My vision became cloudy and I fell out of my chair, but before I could hit the ground I felt warm hands catch me. It was the man, he carefully helped me to my couch and handed me some cold water.

    "You seem to be unsatisfied with our trade my boy, what is the problem?"

    "You took my friends, you said no one would be hurt but now they're dead!"

    The man gave me a somber look and replied:

    "You must know there's a high cost for returning you to your body. However it's quite clear you are unsatisfied with this trade so I'll cut you the deal of a lifetime"

    The man smiled and reached in his pocket for the little black book. He wrote something in it and then looked at me and said:

    "I'm feeling awfully generous so we'll make this simple. You kill the man who caused the accident that took your friends' lives and I'll undo this trade and have you all survive."

    The man tore a page from his little black book and handed it to me. Written on it was an address and a name.

    "Albert Nora, 1386 Lakeside Drive"

    "You can find him there, call me when you've completed your end. Oh and one last thing, you'll need this"

    The man handed me a crude knife from his coat along with another paper with a list written on it.

    "You'll need to kill him that and follow the instructions on that paper carefully. When you're done call me. Till then my boy."

    I looked down at the list it showed a 3 step process that I was to complete before as part of a trade ritual. The paper read:

    Mortal Trade of Wrath Instructions:

    In order to preform the mortal trade of wrath you must have a sober mind and a clear goal in mind. Do not perform this ritual if you have failed another mortal ritual in the past. If you do not have the tribute dagger, burn this paper now and do not proceed. Failure to follow the steps of the ritual will result in grave punishment.

    You must have a clear target for the ritual. The target must be adult and cannot be with child. The target must have harmed you in some way in the past or killed someone you love. The target must remain alive throughout the ritual if the target dies before the ritual's finish then you will pay with your soul.

    1.Draw the circle on the back of these instructions and place the tribute in the middle with arms and legs spread. The tribute must not be bound in anyway.

    2.Initiate the tribute ceremony by anointing the dagger with your own blood. Stay outside the circle and say: "I offer this tribute as my trade of wrath"

    3.After you state these words you may enter the circle and must stab the dagger directly into the heart of the tribute. The main ritual is now finished.

    4.Cover the dagger in the tribute's blood and heat it using a flame from a wood fire. Brand the design of the dagger into your skin.

    The tribute is complete, summon a tradesman and return the dagger. If you failed the tribute the tradesman will issue a punishment. If you have completed it properly you will be awarded with your desired trade.

    I don't want to kill anyone, however I need to save my friends. This man is responsible for their death and it was his dumb decision that took my friends from me. I'm not saying I'm going to kill him, but I have looked into it and it wouldn't be hard. The man lives in a small house and has no family. He only leaves his house for work. He works night shifts as maintenance at a small corner store. No one would miss him and I could perform the tribute in my basement. I would still need to work out how to get him here, he's a big man and he would put up a fight. I can't take him alone but I don't want anyone else knowing. I could drug him but I'd need to do more research, and that's if I were to go through with this.

    I guess what I'm saying is that I need your advice, should I go through with this to save my friends or let the man that caused their death to live? I'm pretty sure I can do this and do it right. So is the life of a man who drove drunk and caused the death of my innocent friends really worth saving? I feel like I'm in a movie right now. I know the right thing may be to let him live but I just don't know if I can.

    Thanks for all the support guys and I'm looking forward to reading your comments. If I do end up going through with this before I can see your responses, I just want to ask you guys not judge me for anything I may do in the following days.
  19. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by aldra this scronpost is worth saving/sharing:

    Name your selections m8. :))
  20. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Sophie You can see deformities on the ultrasound. So i imagine the mom to be would know before birth, besides there's all kinds of tests they can perform these days to check for all sorts of things.

    Ok fine I'm asking in a situation where there was never an ultrasound. But still, even if it WERE discovered in one, it would be sort of the same- "Hey look, there he is! He looks healthy, everything looks go--, oh. OH. FUCK."

    "What? What's wrong?"

    "I'm sorry Amanda, but I'm not seeing any LEGS on the little fella. I see his little peen, it's a boy for sure, but I'm not seeing any LEGS. Anyway you can go ahead and schedule a follow up appointment next month with Stacy on your way out. Congrats on the boy!"

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