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The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS

  1. i only suffer because i go through withdrawals eveyrdday u godmdamn pussy
  2. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by 霍比特人 That is so not logical of you mq

    Go on.
  3. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Dargo Malice, perhaps you think all life is suffering because you live an extremely shitty one. Heaven forbid your miserable existence be the result of poor choices or a lack of responsibility. No, the entire world is designed to be against you.



    Originally posted by 霍比特人 So much this. Once you actually focus on life its pretty awesome. Everything shitty in life can be overcome unless you rolled a one on the 20-sided dice of life. But you probably wouldn't have the capability to post here if you did.

    You two completely missed the point. Common mistake and assumption.

    Dargo, my depression went into remission from Nardil. I'm not even depressed anymore, I actually generally feel content and at peace. It isn't simply the medication, but the culmination of very long and strictly adhered to asceticism, mental refinement and discipline, and my thoughts on life, the nature of existence, the knowledge I've attained and how it's molded my worldview.

    I've genuinely largely freed myself from most of the common desires of man. At this point, even food does not ever tempt me, I can eat the same thing every day without it mattering, or feeling sick of it, desiring something else/new.

    It would take far too long to explain why this is, the full explanation of how I achieved it.

    What kind of life is it? Is it excessively simplistic and devoid of meaning? No, largely I simply recognized what would never lead to lasting happiness, the countless petty and fleeting fixations of man, and cast them aside. Countless things times I ruminated, came to an answer, and cast something aside. I wanted something lasting, something more important, beyond, ordinary reality.

    You're a terrible fucking alleged psychologist. You've admitted yourself that you're overpaid and generally don't do much, that 98% of patients just need someone to talk to and bitch about their lives. I'm sure you'll provide some distortion or pop-psychoanalysis to belittle me, will become convinced that I'm simply rationalizing failure or fear of something, fear of change, failure, or attaining something greater, a radically different lifestyle from the one I've become so accustomed to (I recall your diagnosis of internet addiction (true, but not my primary problem) and dismissal of ASD. Terribly simplistic.).
  4. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by 霍比特人 So much this. Once you actually focus on life its pretty awesome. Everything shitty in life can be overcome unless you rolled a one on the 20-sided dice of life. But you probably wouldn't have the capability to post here if you did.

    There's nothing wrong with enjoying life, it isn't impossible, or necessarily even unduly difficult (I am highly skeptical of how lasting any happiness is in you, whether you will not eventually, and repeatedly, run into disaster.).

    It has nothing to do with individuals. Simple thought experiment: If for whatever reason you were happy, but everyone around you was perpetually suffering, it was well recorded in history that the vast majority of people had always felt like this, and there was no end in sight, would it be rational to believe, to state, that life is generally a net negative, that it may be superior if it didn't exist?

    Don't you see the profound immorality of wanting to perpetuate life simply to continue your own individual happiness, or even worse to allow your experience to blind you, wrap you in illusion, so that you believed having children was not only justified, but a positive act?

    We can use a simpler, less abstract, thought experiment: Anything you buy that isn't a necessity could be used to save the lives of the least fortunate. Or we could use the inverse, simply keeping anything of value that isn't necessary. However much utility/happiness, whatever you attain from it, your soda bottle collection provides you, it is far inferior to what would be provided to the starving in third world countries. My point being an attempt at demonstrating that there are clear situations where sacrificing your own individual happiness for the greater good is ethical and virtuous.

    Unfortunately it's so far from the strongest innate biases, any thoughts they've likely had and conclusions they've reached, their standard ability to grasp things, that the overwhelming majority of people are incapable of understanding how this train of thought could lead to the conclusion that the extinguishment of all life would be the greatest good.
  5. cerakote African Astronaut
    Originally posted by RestStop That's good then. The increased sociability leads me to believe that your dosage is rather low(again, good) you're not getting "stuck" yet where you literally can't leave a certain place/situation because you're so fixated on it. Trust me you'll know when you're stuck.

    this just happened

    i just played mount and blade for literally 5 hours straight and didnt hardly notice
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  6. cerakote African Astronaut
    also im getting meth bugs hardcore
  7. cerakote African Astronaut
    im gonna take a break from this shit once i finish the last of my stash, i can feel my body turning into a shitpile

    my face is super oily, i just noticed the bugs a while back and now that ive made the conscious observation that its meth mites and not actual things on my skin im not bothered by it anymore, im getting BO like a motherfucker literally just from sitting around the house, ive had a persistent but mild headache all day, and im getting dark circles under my eyes

    fuck me dry lads, this drug addiction shit aint no joke... not gonna turn into a junkie and ruin myself tho, fuck that bullshit
  8. RestStop Space Nigga
    Who else uses this site as their main source of "social media?" Aside from this I only have a Reddit account in which I only ever really browse /nosleep and I usually only upvote and rarely comment there...
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  9. cerakote African Astronaut
    Originally posted by RestStop Who else uses this site as their main source of "social media?" Aside from this I only have a Reddit account in which I only ever really browse /nosleep and I usually only upvote and rarely comment there…

    besides snapchat yeah i barely ever check my instagram feed anymore
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  10. Originally posted by cerakote this just happened

    i just played mount and blade for literally 5 hours straight and didnt hardly notice

    Hey, Mount and Blade is a fucking great game. Warband I assume? Which mod/dlc are you playing? Most my time has been spent in Viking Conquest. I had to reinstall windows a while back though and I lost my good save, which sucks, because i was well on my way to becoming something more than just a fief baron.
  11. Lanny Bird of Courage
    Originally posted by Malice Dargo, my depression went into remission from Nardil. I'm not even depressed anymore, I actually generally feel content and at peace. It isn't simply the medication, but the culmination of very long and strictly adhered to asceticism, mental refinement and discipline, and my thoughts on life, the nature of existence, the knowledge I've attained and how it's molded my worldview.

    LOL, what's that quote you always post? Something about rationalizing animals?
  12. Lanny Bird of Courage
    Originally posted by cerakote this just happened

    i just played mount and blade for literally 5 hours straight and didnt hardly notice

    mmm, that feel when your eyes start to hurt because you're going too long without blinking.
  13. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Lanny LOL, what's that quote you always post? Something about rationalizing animals?

    That doesn't ring any bells., Oh, is it "Man is not a rational animal, but a rationalizing animal."? I've only posted that a few times, and the first instance was some time this year. What's so funny about that post? I genuinely have purposefully engaged in asceticism, or at least the denial of the will, since I was a teenager, and it seems to have borne fruit. The effects, the state I've managed to attain, are really fascinating in a way. I mentioned a while ago (no idea when, you know my memories of random things can go years back) how I ate a simple meal, generally once a day, and had essentially done so for years. Your response showed interest, you stated that you were interested in asceticism (not necessarily adhering to it yourself).

    Can you go through a grocery store and every single time not be tempted by a single thing you see? Have no desire to indulge in unhealthy or "junk" food? Can you forego sex and human relations to an extent that would have driven a normal person insane long ago? Have you shed the fleeting and irrational desires that are expected of you from the masses? So much reduction, at least with Nardil now I'm genuinely able to feel content simply with my thoughts, a feeling of warmth and comfort, time with cats, reading. A major part of what allowed the hiki lifestyle to reach such an extreme extent and continue for so long is that I truly wanted for almost nothing. I suppose that death, or remedy, were my only genuine desires. Fairly simple things, very easy to cause your body to cease to function, or to take a pill to address your neurological deficits. It's not simply the Nardil, as I genuinely possess profound neurological abnormalities; it simply brings me to healthier baseline, closer to normal.

    No, this isn't rationalization, I expected Dargo to make this claim and stated as such in my post directed toward him. And I fully admit I did make critical errors in my lifestyle. Social relations, love, a passion, feeling of fulfillment. These all would have improved my level of happiness, general mental health, and ability to function, to meet my goals/ideals, generally do well and succeed in life. You may not be able to relate to this, but at this point, and in the past, pre-mental breakdown for about 2 years, when I started living alone, this was true as well, my life is amazingly devoid of stress. When I ponder the countless events in a normal person's life that elicit a considerable stress response, often chronic, the difference must be profound.

    Surely you wouldn't argue against (radically) alternative lifestyles? Some people want nothing more from you than for you to step aside and stop blocking the sunlight.

    Also, I had a thought. I was reminded of when you wrote in your video thread that you need to be drunk in order to ramble about nothing.

    I'm similar, except I need a very high dose of benzos to even be capable of casual conservation, and even then I may still be incapable of standard small talk. Normally I'm close to being mute.

    Just thought it was somewhat amusing how I'm comparatively similar to you in that regard, but far more extreme.

    You're very fortunate to have avoided the full brunt of the curse of computer science.

    Post last edited by Malice at 2017-06-28T08:25:49.656590+00:00
  14. Lanny Bird of Courage
    Originally posted by Malice That doesn't ring any bells., Oh, is it "Man is not a rational animal, but a rationalizing animal."? I've only posted that a few times, and the first instance was some time this year. What's so funny about that post? I genuinely have purposefully engaged in asceticism, or at least the denial of the will, since I was a teenager, and it seems to have borne fruit.

    So you engage in a behavior for years, are severely depressed for much of that time, often talking about being suicidal, and it just happens to instill a sense of contentment at the same time you start taking a drug for treating depression? I don't doubt people can be happy with ascetic lifestyles, but acting like not wanting to die after starting pharmaceutical intervention is indicative of the truth of your personal moral theory is, uhhh, problematic.

    Also, I had a thought. I was reminded of when you wrote in your video thread that you need to be drunk in order to ramble about nothing.

    I'm similar, except I need a very high dose of benzos to even be capable of casual conservation, and even then I may still be incapable of standard small talk. Normally I'm close to being mute.

    Just thought it was somewhat amusing how I'm comparatively similar to you in that regard, but far more extreme.

    You're very fortunate to have avoided the full brunt of the curse of computer science.

    Yeah, I mean lowering of inhibition and all that. Everyone except maybe like severe schizophrenics have some inhibition to speech, a threshold of necessity or relevance or intensity that an impulse has to meet to induce speech. It's a product of conditioning, as like an adolescent I was kind of a loud mouth, would talk when I had nothing to say, intentionally worked on staying quiet if I didn't have a specific reason to talk, probably swung too far and made me seem antisocial for a while, came back around in college. I could probably do better with keeping conversations going than I do now, but the point being that it's a malleable trait, you can put in an effort to become more conversant.
  15. Lanny Bird of Courage
    also diogenes was a straight OG baller
  16. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Lanny So you engage in a behavior for years, are severely depressed for much of that time, often talking about being suicidal, and it just happens to instill a sense of contentment at the same time you start taking a drug for treating depression? I don't doubt people can be happy with ascetic lifestyles, but acting like not wanting to die after starting pharmaceutical intervention is indicative of the truth of your personal moral theory is, uhhh, problematic.

    Hahaha, this is so laughably obvious. I can't remember if I planned to write something or it crossed my mind at some point, but forgot.

    Wait, no, what moral theory? I never said it was a moral theory. I used it as a tool, exercises, to achieve things I desired for my personal development. Being freed from many desires for the reasons I stated.

    Genuine Buddhist monks learn how to leave their desires to a great extent and there's good evidence that they are genuinely happier than the average person. Of course it's not solely due to that, but I think there's a good argument to be made for it.

    but the point being that it's a malleable trait, you can put in an effort to become more conversant.

    I know, but, oh god, I seriously don't want to. There are so many flaws relative to written communication, and it's such a massive time-sink that doesn't seem to lead anywhere. It's just the natural human need for connection, which I honestly don't seem to have. I'm not sure what it is. To be clear, of course I experience the negative effects and have accepted which stem from isolation, which I actually called the most detrimental factor in my life, even warned others: https://www.reddit.com/r/Nootropics/comments/3u999j/toward_a_neurology_of_loneliness_the_neurological/?st=j4gr9spc&sh=789d9349
    but the actual feeling of wanting any IRL interaction with other people, even through voice and video, simply isn't there. Really weird emotional states and responses, differences in emotion, certainly seem to be common among aspies. Just saying this in case, well, there a lot of things that are unrelatable, I'm just not sure if it seems realistic to a quasi-normie. I also genuinely cannot imagine anyone I would want to interact with, anyone I've ever read about, heard of, simply been aware of in some form. Of course there are people you could ask important questions to, I refer to anyone I would want to spend time with outside of that. It's the same with love, I cannot imagine any compatibility or interest to that level. I'm not sure how long it's been like this. This is really important to state because writing it down made me consider how psychologically abnormal it sounds. There's a good reason for this, countless reasons, and I've suspected my inner thoughts affect my actual perception of things, of the world and other people, far more than normal due to the structure of my mind, how it functions, the hyper-systemizing aspect. Constantly living in your mind, I suppose that may be a description of what autsim feels like to many.

    Anyways, I suppose you could sum it up as I had an extremely robotic rule and logic oriented thought abnormal pattern and it lead to a train of thought that has reached today. Of course it wasn't unavoidable, there are multiple things that could have made my life better.

    And that response was set off by the deficits caused by ASD. I'm certainly not denying it's a strong net negative for most, I've posted the incredibly poor outcomes of Aspergers myself. You actually laughed and flaunted that you had a life expectancy 12 years greater than the average person with Aspergers.

    Anyway, I've admitted it's gone far past simple aversion and gone to full blown anthropophobia, along with agoraphobia, that's diminishing. God, just knowing you've been born as a human being and are trapped on a planet with over 7 billion others is horrifying enough. Reality is terrible and unfulfilling.

    This is the peak of alienation. I would genuinely prefer to be able to exist in complete isolation, if VR proved to be an adequate replacement, or you could take a pill to elicit the positive effects of human interaction.

    Lanny, have you really found that much depth and value in human relationships IRL? How rare are those moments?
  17. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Lanny also diogenes was a straight OG baller

    Diogenes probably would have beaten the shit out of you.
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  18. Lanny Bird of Courage
    Originally posted by Lanny I want to stand on a street corner in trenchcoat near a school around the time it lets out. I'll wait until nerdy looking white kids walking home without any friends walk by. "Pstt, kid, over here. You like computers?". When the draw near I'll kneel down and whisper into their ear "​The set of problems solvable in polynomial time is equivalent to the problems solvable in nondeterministic polynomial time", look at them knowingly, and gently push them on their way without saying another word. Hopefully one will be puzzled by the meaning of this, look into it, over their life dig deeper and deeper into it, and eventually find a solution because they're absolutely convinced it's true even if they can't prove it yet. This is how I'm going to win a millennium prize by proxy

    So for whatever reason I occasionally go onto popular live youtube streams and essentially post this in the comments. Usually I don't get any response or someone asking me to explain what that means but just now some dude was like "oh, glad to see another physics geek". I hope that fucker never ends up designing a bridge.

    Also I think I've convinced a few different people than Hangul is turing complete.
  19. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Oh, I just remembered something important. Starting around 13 I began to get really tired of people and it started my path down extreme misanthropy and self-imposed isolation through a long period of ruminating on my hatred of human nature, the failures of man, and society. By high school my goal in life, greatest desire, was to exterminate the human race. I also had thoughts of becoming a domestic terrorist, like McVeigh (hero), mass murder, and at some point serial killer.

    Oh yes, that would certainly explain the isolation.
  20. RisiR † 29 Autism
    You haven't lived a day in reality. You have no idea what's coming to you.

    Good luck.

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