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Conflict Shitpile II - Sarin-like Substance Edition

  1. mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    subscribe DFG
  2. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    fuck DFG

    IRAQ - ISIS have blown up the mosque they initially used to symbolically claim the caliphate, lol.
  3. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    SYRIA - The SAA have been ROFLSTOMPING the FSA groups near the contested Al-Tanf base where US SOF are stationed. They've taken Bir Al-Qasab (which I can't find on a map so I can't judge just how close they've moved to Al-Tanf itself) and taken all their toys - a few mortars, small arms, TOW cannons and a LOT of GRAD missiles (FSA had previously used them to shell a nearby airbase from this position).

    Unverified rumours also indicate that Russia's set up a small garrison just to the north, making it impossible for the FSA to even try retaking the areas they lost without incurring the wrath of the RUAF and any ground forces (likely Spetsnaz and sappers) there.
  4. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    IRAN - It's fairly well-known that ISIS claimed responsibility for the recent Tehran bombings. What's less well known is that Iran is confident that it was the indirect work of the US and gulf states for very good reason.

    The standard pattern for ISIS is to go for maximum emotional impact; they attack marketplaces and public gatherings (recently an ice-cream parlour) in an effort to maximise bodycount among people otherwise deemed noncombatants; the message being that nobody is safe.

    The recent bombings in Tehran were in completely different locations - one was at their parliament, the other was at the tomb of Khoemini. These targets are extremely political, and have been (unsuccessfully) attacked by a domestic terror organisation, MEK, on several occasions - an ex-member of MEK couldn't verify the connection, but could say that MEK had recently begun communicating with ISIS shortly before his departure.

    MEK has a history going back to the 70s as a general marxist organisation, first supporting the 'Islamic Revolution' then turning against the Iranian government. It was heavily supported by the US following the attack on Iraq (even though they were still internationally designated a terrorist group until 2012), and has been nurtured as an asset against the Iranian government ever since.

    The Iranian missile strikes that followed the attack received a lot of western media attention but very little detail as to their targets - in a sort of sarcastic turn they claimed they had struck 'ISIS' as revenge, but given that their attacks were clustered around Deir Eizzor it seems more likely that their target was the assorted FSA (US-backed militias) groups that were trying to defend the area from the SAA.
  5. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by aldra I'd not even heard of the KCK, they were called the KKK up until 2007 though, lel.

    Russia is now treating all US/allied aircraft as hostile by default; they've stated that any unidentified aircraft spotted east of the Euphrates is getting an S400 lock in case it begins acting aggressively. In case of open conflict, the Russian AA missiles will effectively close Syrian airspace. As far as I know there's little - if any - Russian AA artillery in the country, but the SAA should have plenty in sensitive locations in order to drive any low-flying attackers into SAM-lock altitude.

    If the US air force is grounded or crippled, they're likely to flood the SDF with MANPADs in order to counteract Russian air power, making it largely a ground battle. Wildcards here would be the US' HIMARS MLRS units which can serve the same general purpose as a ballistic missile (though the only units in the country are currently way out of range at Al-Tanf) and Iran's SRBMs/TBMs as they demonstrated with a fairly impressive barrage against ISIS last week. The Gulf states already have their hands full with Yemen so it's unlikely they'll be deeply involved, and Israel will likely stay out of the conflict proper and use it as a distraction for another land grab in the Golan.

    Syria, Iran and Hezbullah will ally themselves with Turkey against the Kurds (Turkey will likely backstab them but not until the Kurds are crushed) making it an extremely bloody mess that the Kurds are unable to win and unlikely to survive at all, at which point the US will begin accusing the others of genocide and assorted other war crimes in an attempt to drum up support for an 'international peacekeeping mission' to continue with their plans of fragmenting Syria


    here we go
  6. mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    This thread looks like you got the script before it came out, and then you tried to spoil it.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  7. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by mashlehash This thread looks like you got the script before it came out, and then you tried to spoil it.

    SPOILER ALERT: Assad slays the bearded dragon
  8. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    SYRIA - The SAA have captured the Tal-Ghurab hill above the US/FSA training base at Al-Tanf. This puts the SAA around 50km away, inside the 70km range of the recently deployed HIMARS long-range missile artillery, so we'll probably see fireworks moving forward.

    As linked above, Turkey is preparing to attack from the north, ostensibly to smash the SDF at Afrin (they've been harassing Turkish positions to the north from there). No indication how far they intend to go though; given how they behaved before Russia and the SAA shielded the SDF from them last time it seems unlikely that Afrin is their end goal.

    Further south, Turkey has offered to partner with Russian security forces in various parts of the Idlib de-escalation zone, presumably as a 'test' for further military co-operation.
  9. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    AFGHANISTAN - A lot of recent reports of unmarked helicopters carrying supplies to known ISIS positions. No official statement from either the Afghan government or US; it stands to reason that it's being allowed though I have no idea why.

    The US has already lost control of the majority of Afghanistan and material support would have to go through Iran to get to ISIS in Syria.
  10. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    SYRIA - UNVERIFIED - A Russian S-300 has allegedly shot down a US Global Hawk off the coast of Tartarus. Neither the US nor Russia has officially validated the claim, but if it's true it's likely in response to the US shooting down an SAAF bomber the other day.

    Multiple witnesses reported the single rocket fire and explosion (many initially thought it was a Kalibr), but there's no solid evidence on what it hit. The US has curiously reported that the only Global Hawk they had in the theatre was damaged and crashed... back in California.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  11. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    --there is a lot of shit going on--

    SYRIA - Earlier in the war, when the US first set up the base at Al-Tanf, the SAA deployed a few small detachments to create a frontline to the east of the base - their goal was to stand between ISIS and the US forces, reportedly to stop the US forces from attacking ISIS and instigating a larger conflict in the area while the bulk of the SAA was fighting elsewhere.

    ISIS are now making a concerted effort to punch through this line. That was meant to protect them from US attacks.

    They are literally trying hard to make it possible for the US/FSA to 'attack' them.

    “We have reached the self-licking kebab stage”
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    How much popcorn should I make?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  13. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    A lot. I really can't see a way out that isn't going to be messy as fuck; the situations in Ukraine and NK are getting that way too.
  14. Nil African Astronaut [the overexcited four-footed chanar]
    I love this thread, my web is being throttled, glad NiS loads. when I see the shit has hit the fan edition I'll go and dig a hole in the backyard :D

    K, not gonna shit up the place anymore.

    Post last edited by Nil at 2017-06-23T07:57:53.293312+00:00
  15. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    SYRIA - Israel, not wanting to be left out, has been attacking SAA artillery positions near the border lately (2 such strikes in the last few days) - they claim that it's in response to stray artillery landing in the occupied Golan.
  16. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Not directly related to any current conflict, though it goes to the root cause of all:

    http://www.newsilkstrategies.com/opinion/making-saudi-arabia-great-again-pt-1

    Very interesting article, it relates to documents signed by Nixon and the Saudi royals of the time.

    Basically, in dropping the gold standard, the US needed something to peg the dollar to so energy (considering it was needed by every country, developing or otherwise) seemed like a good choice. Nixon was desperate as the dollar would soon become irrelevant without backing and without any way to force other nations to use it, so he more or less agreed to be the Saudis' bitch in return for them trading oil solely in dollars and using their oil-wealth to back the dollar and US debt.

    TL;DR: The US has to do whatever the Saudis want because the Saudis are capable of crashing the entire US economy at will. They actually did at one point - after the 'Yom Kippur war', the Saudis were furious about the US supporting Israel because it gave the impression that they had bankrolled that support, so they used OPEC to cut production, quadruple the price of oil and cripple the US stock market.

    User was banned for saying the taboo phrase "bank"!
  17. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    LOLZAPOO
  18. goddamnit. nobody even hinted at it
  19. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Looks like you were Lanny's mark. 3 victories now, and he claims it ain't rigged. Sheeeeeeeeit.

    Anyway, back to your thread.
  20. Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Actually, he was mine. I have 3 victories now!
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