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How do I learn to trust people.

  1. #1
    I've had a lot of trouble trusting people for as long as I can remember. Being suspicious that my coworker will lock me in the cooler, suspicious of my friends, reaching for my knife because the guy walking towards me with his hands in his pockets, etc.

    Because of my issues trusting people, I'm not able to make friends with anyone, let alone make a connection with someone that evolves into a relationship.

    This is an even bigger problem with me emotionally, as I'm not able to talk to anyone about my emotional life, so I have to deal with it myself, which is putting a lot of strain on my mind and body. I threw up at work today because I was so stressed out about shit going on.

    Any advice?
  2. #2
    infinityshock Black Hole
    you dont. people cant be trusted
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  3. #3
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    I dunno, I'm like that

    I think if you feel like you want to connect with people you're better off finding one person you can really trust rather than being more trusting in general.
  4. #4
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    being afraid your coworker will lock you in the cooler is weirdly specific though
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  5. #5
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    It's taken me a long time to understand the difference between "trust" and "being open"

    Like if a girl comes up to you and your like "this girl is too pretty she's clearly just trying to set me up so her black boyfriend can rob me" you're manifesting a negative scenario that may or may not be true. You have to keep your wits about you as you allow yourself to be open to the possibilities life is offering. If she motions for you to go behind a building where there are several individuals wearing bandanas that's one thing but you've gotta be able to read people and their energy and always keep that in the back of your head

    So the answer is "why would you trust someone unnecessarily?" But even while being conscious of your mistrust you've gotta be open to the possibility that people's self interest can align with yours and not everyone is as terrible as the worst person you've met
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  6. #6
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    feel the rain on youre skin, no one else can feel it for you

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  7. #7
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Welcome to living in a city as an adult
  8. #8
    Meikai Heck This Schlong
    Originally posted by aldra I dunno, I'm like that

    I think if you feel like you want to connect with people you're better off finding one person you can really trust rather than being more trusting in general.

    this forum is basically a support group for people with schizoid personality disorder at this point
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  9. #9
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    I'm a retarded geriatric half crippled with underlying percolating addiction tendencies 👋
  10. #10
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Meikai this forum is basically a support group for people with schizoid personality disorder at this point

    Schizoid personality disorder (/ˈskɪtsɔɪd, ˈskɪdzɔɪd, ˈskɪzɔɪd/, often abbreviated as SzPD or ScPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships,[9] a tendency toward a solitary or sheltered lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, detachment, and apathy. Affected individuals may be unable to form intimate attachments to others and simultaneously possess a rich and elaborate but exclusively internal fantasy world.[10][11] Other associated features include stilted speech, a lack of deriving enjoyment from most activities, feeling as though one is an "observer" rather than a participant in life, an inability to tolerate emotional expectations of others, apparent indifference when praised or criticized, a degree of asexuality, and idiosyncratic moral or political beliefs.

    lol, lmao
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  11. #11
    Meikai Heck This Schlong
    Originally posted by aldra lol, lmao

    i think there's even a thing about tending to latch onto one person to fulfill social needs that are miniscule relative to the general population

    idk. i got diagnosed with it at 17 and it fits ig. i am the prototypical schizoid. no social life, no education, terrible life outcomes all around. tbh if i cared about anything even a little bit i'd probably have been diagnosed with autism. i'm pretty much just an autist without the burning passion for trains.
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  12. #12
    Meikai Heck This Schlong
    >an inability to tolerate emotional expectations of others

    it's not that i can't tolerate their emotional expectations, it's that they can't tolerate mine and still expect me to tolerate theirs. i can't tolerate the unfairness of that shit. i love my parents but on god please miss me with your invites to watch a movie or whatever jesus christ you've known me for 33 years and i've literally spelled this out to you before. fuck off.

    i'm expected to watch the movie for their sake but they can't be expected to not ask me to watch the movie for their sake. what a load of horseshit.
  13. #13
    DUSM Raylan Givens Tuskegee Airman
    You don't. You just do it by default and give them a genuine chance and expectation, and if they break your trust, you don't trust them any more but you don't transfer it into other people.
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  14. #14
    Instigator Naturally Camouflaged [the staring tame crusher]
    Just fuck people over before they have the chance to do it you.
  15. #15
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Meikai i think there's even a thing about tending to latch onto one person to fulfill social needs that are miniscule relative to the general population

    idk. i got diagnosed with it at 17 and it fits ig. i am the prototypical schizoid. no social life, no education, terrible life outcomes all around. tbh if i cared about anything even a little bit i'd probably have been diagnosed with autism. i'm pretty much just an autist without the burning passion for trains.

    just the first paragraph is like a 50-75% match
  16. #16
    DUSM Raylan Givens Tuskegee Airman
    Trust people but expect them to fuck you over
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  17. #17
    Originally posted by Instigator Just fuck people over before they have the chance to do it you.

    Accept that western civilization has transitioned to an era of low trust but don't change your behavior accordingly. Be noble and exploitable. Be submissive and breedable.
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  18. #18
    Instigator Naturally Camouflaged [the staring tame crusher]
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_bag
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  19. #19
    cryptographiccontrarian African Astronaut
    youd be a fucking idiot to trust anyone around you at this point
  20. #20
    Kafka sweaty
    That sounds like excessive paranoia, like you're not thinking clearly about the liklihood of those things happening. Now that you've brought it I'm wondering how I deal with it. I guess I'm open about emotions but I almost expect people to try to use what I say against me and it doesn't hurt. I don't tell people things they can hurt me with but still vent. There are a few people I trust with different things and am not sure why. Maybe it's easy to tell when people have strong principles.
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