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  1. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by 1337 Yes you were right, I was an idiot, this has already been established. Do you need me to put an ad in the New York Times saying that you were right and I was wrong? Too bad we didn't bet on it right, you might have made some cash at the cost of my health and dignity.

    It's cool man, I'm just saying, we're both incredibly idiotic in our own special way.

    Kind of amusing when you think of it that way, that for all these years it's been called The Retarded Thread, and pretty much every single person here has been incredibly retarded when it came to living their lives in a unique manner.

    We're a bunch of fucking retards! It's like a recording of the absurdity of life in motion.
  2. RisiR † 29 Autism
    Originally posted by mmQ It's out of your league bro. :)

    8/10

    American Gladiator Hetero Level 3000.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by RisiR † 8/10

    American Gladiator Hetero Level 3000.

  4. RisiR † 29 Autism
    Originally posted by Malice It's cool man, I'm just saying, we're both incredibly idiotic in our own special way.

    Kind of amusing when you think of it that way, that for all these years it's been called The Retarded Thread, and pretty much every single person here has been incredibly retarded when it came to living their lives in a unique manner.

    We're a bunch of fucking retards! It's like a recording of the absurdity of life in motion.

    Please speak for yourself. I'm perfectly fine.
  5. RisiR † 29 Autism
    Thank you.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. Originally posted by RisiR † Please speak for yourself. I'm perfectly fine.

    I suppose we'll ignore the latest suicide thread you made then.
  7. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    You know, a while ago I looked up my old house (parent's) in Los Angeles on Google and saw that it had been torn down and replaced with a multifamily building.

    I recall that before leaving my dad was starting to do fairly well for himself and was interested in paying it off, and the amount he would have needed to pay to fully own it may have been surprisingly low.

    I swear, if my parents bought it for the remaining amount and then sold it they could have made so much fucking bank. They could literally be in the million+ net worth level at this point.

    And of course I posted a while back that my sister may have gone to USC and into medical field.

    I had my reasons for not wanting to contact them and ask for help, and it was the exact opposite of selfishness. But at this point I may just try to play the prodigal son role, tell them that I'm losing my ability to function, and get them to pay for any treatment I need.

    I mean, they are ultimately responsible for this. Every cradle is a grave, birth begets all suffering in life. Parents have children for no reason other than to fulfill their own selfish desires, so you could definitely make a pretty sound ethical argument that they owe it to me, are morally obligated. A large part of being undiagnosed, having my life go off track, was their own ignorance and stupidity. It's really just been a form of pride and feeling I didn't deserve it (I was a fucked up person), not wanting to hurt/burden them, that has kept me from doing so. I was genuinely planning to commit suicide, and was hoping they had assumed that's what had occurred, so reopening that wound only to tell them I was probably going to end up dead eventually felt like a really fucked up thing to do.

    It's going to be awkward as hell, though. "Hey, mom, dad, you know how I disappeared for literally a decade without warning and haven't contacted you at all since then? Well, it would take a really long time to explain why I did it, but I may be dying/losing the ability to function, could I move back in and have you pay for any treatment and therapy I need until I'm able to support myself?"

    May just have to suck it and deal with it. Not like it's uncommon for MOON PERSONs to move back in with their parents.

    Post last edited by Malice at 2017-05-19T23:35:54.511350+00:00
  8. I have not slept since tuesday. I am losing track of everything.
  9. Originally posted by mmQ Let's be frank here. You not being able to hookup with a gaping leg wound is funnier than saying that very wound is 'out of its leg.' The word play was the entire 5 out of 10. I mean the wound isn't 'out of the leg' anyway. THANK YOU.

    I disagree, saying I wouldn't be able to hook up with a leg wound is the lowest possible hanging fruit, the most copy paste template joke one could come up with. Whereas out of their leg = classic ironic use of an unfunny joke. It's the ironic use that makes it a clear 6/10, and your home at msot a 3/10.
  10. RisiR † 29 Autism
    Originally posted by Captain Falcon I disagree, saying I wouldn't be able to hook up with a leg wound is the lowest possible hanging fruit, the most copy paste template joke one could come up with. Whereas out of their leg = classic ironic use of an unfunny joke. It's the ironic use that makes it a clear 6/10, and your home at msot a 3/10.

    Nah.
  11. RisiR † 29 Autism
    Originally posted by Dargo I suppose we'll ignore the latest suicide thread you made then.

  12. mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Did I overlook it or how in the fuck hasn't someone from here posted about the Times Square incident?

    https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=090_1495179452
  13. Originally posted by Malice You know, a while ago I looked up my old house (parent's) in Los Angeles on Google and saw that it had been torn down and replaced with a multifamily building.

    I recall that before leaving my dad was starting to do fairly well for himself and was interested in paying it off, and the amount he would have needed to pay to fully own it may have been surprisingly low.

    I swear, if my parents bought it for the remaining amount and then sold it they could have made so much fucking bank. They could literally be in the million+ net worth level at this point.

    And of course I posted a while back that my sister may have gone to USC and into medical field.

    I had my reasons for not wanting to contact them and ask for help, and it was the exact opposite of selfishness. But at this point I may just try to play the prodigal son role, tell them that I'm losing my ability to function, and get them to pay for any treatment I need.

    I mean, they are ultimately responsible for this. Every cradle is a grave, birth begets all suffering in life. Parents have children for no reason other than to fulfill their own selfish desires, so you could definitely make a pretty sound ethical argument that they owe it to me, are morally obligated. A large part of being undiagnosed, having my life go off track, was their own ignorance and stupidity. It's really just been a form of pride and feeling I didn't deserve it (I was a fucked up person), not wanting to hurt/burden them, that has kept me from doing so. I was genuinely planning to commit suicide, and was hoping they had assumed that's what had occurred, so reopening that wound only to tell them I was probably going to end up dead eventually felt like a really fucked up thing to do.

    It's going to be awkward as hell, though. "Hey, mom, dad, you know how I disappeared for literally a decade without warning and haven't contacted you at all since then? Well, it would take a really long time to explain why I did it, but I may be dying/losing the ability to function, could I move back in and have you pay for any treatment and therapy I need until I'm able to support myself?"

    May just have to suck it and deal with it. Not like it's uncommon for MOON PERSONs to move back in with their parents.

    Post last edited by Malice at 2017-05-19T23:35:54.511350+00:00

    Literally nobody cares
  14. RisiR † 29 Autism
    Malice, you don't have to become less anxious. You have to become braver. Unleash the beast!
  15. Originally posted by RisiR † Nah.

    Shill confirmed
  16. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Darth Beaver Literally nobody cares

    Oh, give it a rest. I completely understand why you're so butthurt, and honestly, I had the thought: If I could choose between everyone's problems being resolved and attaining happiness, the cessation of suffering, or people being punished and dying out of a sense of penality, regardless of what they had done, I would choose the former at this point.

    May study secular Buddhism if I make it past this. It was Schopenhauer that led me to it, he was onto something, had a good reason for his affinity toward it, study of it. Being constantly angry and resentful toward the world sure as hell didn't do me any good.

    Post last edited by Malice at 2017-05-19T23:55:06.264294+00:00
  17. RisiR † 29 Autism
    Originally posted by Captain Falcon Shill confirmed

    Are you acting like Bill Krozby now because mmQ 's joke was funnier than yours?

    2/10
  18. Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by RisiR † Malice, you don't have to become less anxious. You have to become braver. Unleash the beast!

    Sections of my brain are literally going haywire and malfunctioning. I know there is no rational reason for this extreme persistent anxiety, fear, and apprehension, I've fought against it, consistently tried cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, but it only goes so far. There are a ton of other severe symptoms I've had throughout life with no apparent psychological cause.

    In fact, it's not uncommon for non-pharmaceutical/medical intervention to have little or no efficacy for many people.

    I literally have a neurological disorder and need to start extensive testing, have my cortisol and sex hormone levels tested, then ideally some MRIs or whatever the preferred option is. It's bound to be a major pain in the ass to get everything I need, though.

    As I've said before, your brain is affected by genetic variation just like any other part of your body, things can just suddenly go wrong, or become worse. You can find a lot of examples of this. I mean, Parkinson's and dementia are clearly genuine conditions, they're not just all in your head, you can't will your way out of them. There are so many disorders with a neurological foundation out there.
  19. RisiR † 29 Autism
    So you are back to that obsession. Can you fuck one of the cats already and move on? Jeezuz.
  20. I think part of your breakdown Malice, is that you see yourself as fundamentally flawed and incapable of getting better. According to you, it's all out of your control.

    While that may be true to come extent, I don't think you give yourself enough credit in combating whatever it is that ails (?) you. You assume it's hopeless, unchangeable, and get all fatalistic, further adding to your downward spiral.

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