I hope you feel better, Malice. I don't know what else to say. You need some genuine human contact, but knowing that and doing it are two different things. Join a support group. Get out there and find a friend that you can trust. It's not as hard as it seems, really. There are plenty of people that like you are dying for connection. Look in the right places and you'll find them.
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post didn't die in a fire!
Yes, It's good you're OK. ER sucks. Not even the medical staff want to be there. well some claim they love it. most medical people just want to relax between patients because it's high stress
Originally posted by infinityshock
I can't make an appropriate reply to something that makes absolutely no sense at all to a person with a modicum of sanity.
let whatever pharms you've ODd on wear off then try again, crackhead
NEIN!!!! BAD CAT SHJUT UP I PISS ON YOU AND FUCK YOUR ASS MY NAME IS RIRISIR
Took another visit. I hadn't slept in days before going in the first time, got out at midnight, couldn't sleep until around dawn, then passed out until 10 PM, when all the pharmacies were closed or closing after searching for ones nearby, their hours, and checking how long it would take to get there. Instead of panicking and resorting to alcohol, even contacting Lanny and begging to meet up near, I just went to the ER and told them what had happened and everything was fine. I got another IV of fluid and shots of Ativan, which just make me feel closer to what normal must feel like. Chilled for a few hours on my phone while someone checked my vitals once a while and gave me a new shot.
Before this I was a hikikomori, had such severe untreated anxiety, been in a state of suicidal depression for the past three years after a mental breakdown and everything that had occurred before that, had absolutely no one in my life during that period, become agoraphic and anthropophobic to the point where I would barely go outside, have literally gone a month without stepping foot out multiple times, probably said less than ten a month only when going outside out of necessity, such as "thank you" to cashiers, or the process of depositing rent into my landlord's account, a barely audible "thanks" at the grocery store while wearing sunglasses and averting eye contact, all the countless things that I dwelt on in my mind, all alone with nothing but my thought.
This is hikikomori to the core. But I made it, I know I've broken though and I feel like crying out of happiness in longer than anyone should.
I finally made it and I can't wait to see how good it gets from here and what's out there in the world. It's like being freed from prison for over 10 years.
As is traditional in animeland, the ceremonial cutting of the hair. I've wanted to try a Taxi Driver style look since I saw the film years ago, although it's closer to Chu from Yu Yu Hakusho in style, not I have the courage to pull it off and try something different than the same standard hairstyle I'd had for years.
Some people have invisible disabilities, no matter what they look like on the outside or even how they often come across online you have no idea what they've gone through and are going through. Be excellent to each other, it's the past path toward happiness and fulfillment in life.
If anyone is going through something similar, eventually you can make it too. Don't be afraid to ask for help, to accept you need others.
I made it, I survived, and everything's going to be okay now.
Omedetou
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post didn't die in a fire!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
