2022-07-30 at 5:41 PM UTC
Lol she's so scared she immediately started deleting messages haha. I was only kidding, I just wanted to see what she'd do.
2022-07-30 at 11:03 PM UTC
Who am I, John Cummingalloveryourmomstits?
2022-07-31 at 1:22 AM UTC
Extremely happy. The wheels of my life are turning again and big exciting things are happening. I love you all. Expect a falconic renaissance.
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2022-07-31 at 1:41 AM UTC
Damn I'm gonna fucking shit on an interstate, any interstate will do.
2022-07-31 at 3:45 AM UTC
Can’t sleep, thinking of recording my own Irish lessons, fuck up seagulls.
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2022-07-31 at 4:54 AM UTC
When the smart drug kicks in at 5am -_-
My psychologist can advise my GP to prescribe me things. A mental health history isn’t good for anyone so I have to be careful, but am tempted to send her a dark email making something up.
2022-07-31 at 5:13 AM UTC
Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
Swim may or may not have gone to a rock performance with an unnecessary array of weapons then long story short left instead of continuing because his friend was very drunk and shirtless. Now he's trying to convince this 3/10 off tinder he needs to go to her place and finish off his bottle now
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2022-07-31 at 7:19 AM UTC
I wish it was always night time.
2022-07-31 at 7:36 AM UTC
Well I wish it was always light time.
This wish both rhymes with and is the opposite of your wish and thus counters it.
Fucking rekt. Get shit on loser.
2022-07-31 at 7:40 AM UTC
Imagine that you are the smartest person alive, and you simultaneously take 250 mg of Klonopin and Excedrin PMS, which by the way is the greatest fucking pill in the universe, and then stand buck naked in the middle of Broadway at 8 pm, disregarding the fact that you are stark naked and blind, directing traffic while flapping your cheeks to the rhythm of the Hudson River while struggling to reach a flamethrower. Imagine that your doctorate is in the field of Anime Affairs. Imagine that you are the smartest person alive, and you simultaneously take 250 mg of Adderall and then jump buck naked into the middle of the Hudson River. Imagine that you are the smartest person alive, and you also take 240 mg of Ambien while you simultaneously do the backstroke with the body of Jared Leto. Now imagine that you are the smartest person alive, and you also take 250 mg of Lunesta while you simultaneously do the backstroke with the body of Jake Gyllenhaal. Now imagine that you are the smartest person of all time, and you also simultaneously create a series of algorithms to counteract the effects of the Adderall. But you’re not so smart, either. So you try to fall back on your Anime Affairs degree. But the cat begins to feel symmetrical. So you look in the mirror and realize you’re a fucking pretzel. That’s what it’s like to simultaneously be on Klonopin, Excedrin PMS, Adderall, Ambien, and Lunesta. Side effects may include schematrons
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