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teh retraded thred herppppp slober fuk glum editshin
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2017-04-30 at 7:03 AM UTCniggers
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2017-04-30 at 7:20 AM UTCUomv thanks a kot whoever just made me drink another bottle of coughsThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-30 at 7:20 AM UTC
Originally posted by Malice It's completely absurd to believe that there's something that transcends physical reality.
You should go into academia, a couple of undergrad level philosophy courses would do you a lot of good if you actually hold this opinion.Fortunately I've set an appointment with a neurologist so I may finally find effective treatment. I posit that Nardil and propanolol are the best option for treatment I've found, along with possibly memantine, T-PAIN, nsi-189, phenibut, and something to treat chronic systemic inflammation.
Have you ever thought that your failure to get effective treatment owes, at least partially, to your preconceptions of the therapeutic process, inability to accept a clinician knows better than you? I mean surely you have the self awareness to realize your mental state affects your judgment, I think you'd probably get more out of sticking to treatment, any treatment, even if you're totally convinced it's non-optimal six ways to sunday, than trying to self-diagnose and self-treat and terminating treatment half way through because you're convinced you're dealing with idiots. -
2017-04-30 at 7:33 AM UTC
Skip to 15:12. Classy girl
Post last edited by 1337 at 2017-04-30T07:35:41.158090+00:00 -
2017-04-30 at 7:39 AM UTC
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2017-04-30 at 7:46 AM UTCI just got a notification from my accounting app thing since it's the end of the month. In april I spent significantly more on alcohol than food. Unfortunate.
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2017-04-30 at 7:55 AM UTC
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2017-04-30 at 7:56 AM UTC
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2017-04-30 at 7:57 AM UTCur a zimmy
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2017-04-30 at 8:12 AM UTC
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2017-04-30 at 8:13 AM UTCCan you imagineThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-30 at 9:53 AM UTCi want love
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2017-04-30 at 9:54 AM UTC
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2017-04-30 at 11:40 AM UTC
Originally posted by Malice I really should've just sucked it up, accepted the immense flaws of the education system (The Case Against Education by Bryan Caplan, he holds the same views I do), and gone into academia. This would have required a proper diagnosis, the prevalence of Asperger's syndrome is only about 1 in 5,000 among males in this point in time, and medication, mainly an a powerful anxiolytic and antidepressant due to fundamental neurological differences. There are just these profound differences that cause you to be at the extreme of human variation.
Quite honestly, I don't think I'm articularly intelligent, or at least I was absolutely retarded when it came to understanding how to live life as a human being. In my experience, being on the autism spectrum, it's as if you have no intuitive sense of how to properly live life as a human being, to attain happiness and fulfillment, and have to grasp things on a purely cognitive level as opposed to an intuitive and emotional one. And not everyone makes it through to the other end. Unfortunately, looking at life outcomes for aspies, most people don't; in fact, very few people due. You just have to accept that you're a genetic anomaly and this is your lot in life. Gened effect everything, for example, height being one of them. The human brain is the most complex object we've found in existence and of course genetic variation suggests that there's going to be variation in the physical makeup of your brain. You can't simply think your way out of everything, everything isn't only in your mind (solipsism is a form of insanity, you may not be able to refute it with certainty, which is why we need AGI (artificial general intelligence), but based on the knowledge of existence available I absolutely do not believe it is tenable). I mean, what do you think the human brain runs on, pixie dust? It's completely absurd to believe that there's something that transcends physical reality.
Intelligence is not the same thing as happiness. There are people in the world who were incredibly intelligent, accomplished, and completely miserable, eventually ending in their lives in suicide. You have to ask yourself, what the hell has to happen in your life, in your mind, for death to seem like the preferable option?
You have to understand that this is me at rock bottom right now. I'm literally a hikikomori, agoraphic and anthropophobic, I nearly max out rating scales of severe depression and anxiety, and it has a profound neurological basis, past trauma and lack of effective treatment. And it does, naturally and commonly, have a profoundly negative cognitive effect. Your ability to focus (severe ADD-PI), interest in life, desire to learn etc.
Fortunately I've set an appointment with a neurologist so I may finally find effective treatment. I posit that Nardil and propanolol are the best option for treatment I've found, along with possibly memantine, T-PAIN, nsi-189, phenibut, and something to treat chronic systemic inflammation.
Maybe I'll take an accelerated program. Neuroscience is probably what I'd go into, with an eventual goal of publishing a treatment regimen for autism spectrum disorders along with a paper on philosophy I've mentioned recently, "Existentialism, Secular Buddhism, and the Nature of Existence". I have to recover first and come back down to Earth. Hideaki Anno was literally in a state of suicidal depression when he created Evangelion, but he broke though it. I have no way of knowing just how much I may be able to recover.
There are people on the autism spectrum who score enormously high on IQ tests, yet are completely unable to function and cope with life. Intelligence is the ability to deal with complexity, and that isn't the same thing as happiness and fulfillment and life. It seems to be part of my school record, but apparently I scored in the 130+ I range. To give you a relative example, I recall that the average PhD in theoretical physics scores around 130.
Still, to put it crudely, god I'm fucking miserable right now, and I've just been in this cycle where the disorder is continuing to progress and I've become incrementally locked in, just in a constant state of thinking and reflection on life, various subjects that I believe matter most. Hopefully I will be able to beat this, and it's going to take a long time to recover, and at least find some happiness and fulfillment in life. I think there's a good chance at this point, having finally found compelling reasons to live, to continue to exist.
I just read so fucking much and literally almost killed myself, I've been in a state of suicidal depression for about 3 years now, drove myself to the brink of insanity. Now I need to build myself up to the point where I'm able to properly convey some things.
You ignore me, just like your inner voice. I'm flattered but saddened at the same time.
Why can't you just accept that I'm right? I have figured you out a long time ago and you know this. Stop resisting and just trust me.
Write your mom a letter, bro. -
2017-04-30 at 12:54 PM UTCI'm gonna try to grow San Pedro again. I need to have a large supply of a psychedelic available
Could do psilocybes too -
2017-04-30 at 1:26 PM UTC
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2017-05-01 at 2 AM UTCstfu noods i wil kil mylself
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2017-05-01 at 3:37 AM UTCI got my dхm and want to do it tonight but I have to work tomorrow
Not until the evening though
Should I or no -
2017-05-01 at 3:58 AM UTC
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2017-05-01 at 4:16 AM UTC
