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The TRT Thread: Its the end of the world as we know it so GET WHOLESOME edition
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2022-03-25 at 10:03 PM UTC
Originally posted by Nile like fuck, is every person in my life just trash? is that my existence to just never catch fucking break and get constantly fucked over at critical moments? i guess ill b outside for a week or something?
FUCK
Kill him in a horrible and slow way and make him suffer to experience the pain he inflicted on you. Claim your vengeance -
2022-03-25 at 10:26 PM UTCnvm worked it out, he says monday. just wanted to bitch at me for reasons? probably lt me stay here till the first.
dunno what that was about tbh, just says im negative and wanted rto bitch at me i guess, old people man.
talk about stressful for no reason. really cannot wait to be alone, prob cut every one out of my life forever after.
few. more. days. -
2022-03-25 at 10:26 PM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2022-03-26 at 7:47 PM UTCWhen the weather gets warmer I have more energy and feel less depressed and more motivated not to be addicted to opiates. I think I'm gonna make some strides towards a healthier lifestyle in the next few weeks.
I still wanna be a drunken coked up slut all the time but I'm aspiring for more -
2022-03-26 at 7:53 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo When the weather gets warmer I have more energy and feel less depressed and more motivated not to be addicted to opiates. I think I'm gonna make some strides towards a healthier lifestyle in the next few weeks.
I still wanna be a drunken coked up slut all the time but I'm aspiring for more
Samesies. Although I've come to realize at this point that regardless of any strides forward I make, or Happies I obtain, just when I think I've perhaps turned the corner on the path to enlightenment, I fuck something up and slide back to where I started. Basically my life is a game of chutes (snakes for you weirdos) and ladders and there's just a lot of fucking chutes. It's hard for me not to believe that it's subconsciously hardwired into my brain to fuck things up whenever I'm doing well, as though I deserve it or something. Who knows. Whatever. Blah. Countblah.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2022-03-26 at 8:13 PM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ Samesies. Although I've come to realize at this point that regardless of any strides forward I make, or Happies I obtain, just when I think I've perhaps turned the corner on the path to enlightenment, I fuck something up and slide back to where I started. Basically my life is a game of chutes (snakes for you weirdos) and ladders and there's just a lot of fucking chutes. It's hard for me not to believe that it's subconsciously hardwired into my brain to fuck things up whenever I'm doing well, as though I deserve it or something. Who knows. Whatever. Blah. Countblah.
Yea man, maladaptive coping mechanisms and self destructive tendies and shit. I just deal with shit wrong and manifest destruction by thinking negatively. Not sure if the first summer I'm off all conditions since I was 19 is good or bad for me but I'm leaning towards good because it's less stress but potentially less mindfulness of legalities. I just want things to be simple and peaceful -
2022-03-26 at 8:29 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo Yea man, maladaptive coping mechanisms and self destructive tendies and shit. I just deal with shit wrong and manifest destruction by thinking negatively. Not sure if the first summer I'm off all conditions since I was 19 is good or bad for me but I'm leaning towards good because it's less stress but potentially less mindfulness of legalities. I just want things to be simple and peaceful
Sometimes I think for me it's my lack of accountability. Whenever I've been in a controlled environment like incarceration or halfway house or inpatient treatment, I somehow EXCEL. I do everything right as long as I have something hanging over my head to incentivise me to, but I've been off paper and out of treatments for years now, and it's just this weird rollercoaster of poor choices and good choices.
Like obviously I'd still prefer to be free but sometimes I wish a lengthy prison sentence was hanging over my head if I didn't get my shit together, and I realize more normal people would simply say to this 'well, time to man up and be adult, hold yourself accountable, put on your big boy pants etc etc' and they're not wrong. I just haven't been good at it. I'm actually surprised I've managed to not become homeless, that's like my biggest accomplishment lol.
But! I will still try and hold on to the hope that I can figure it out.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2022-03-26 at 9:15 PM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ Sometimes I think for me it's my lack of accountability. Whenever I've been in a controlled environment like incarceration or halfway house or inpatient treatment, I somehow EXCEL. I do everything right as long as I have something hanging over my head to incentivise me to, but I've been off paper and out of treatments for years now, and it's just this weird rollercoaster of poor choices and good choices.
Like obviously I'd still prefer to be free but sometimes I wish a lengthy prison sentence was hanging over my head if I didn't get my shit together, and I realize more normal people would simply say to this 'well, time to man up and be adult, hold yourself accountable, put on your big boy pants etc etc' and they're not wrong. I just haven't been good at it. I'm actually surprised I've managed to not become homeless, that's like my biggest accomplishment lol.
But! I will still try and hold on to the hope that I can figure it out.
All of my stunted feels in this post ♤
I get the same thing where I'm like "dang I could go for a nice little incarceration to reset myself" but
a) this is very dangerous and risky thinking
B) you're putting things out of your own control
C) it never works out how you hope it will
Among probly one or two other reasons why it's not a good idea. It can be good to hone your focus in a setting conducive to gaining skills but incarceration is not the answer. I find myself thinking this way every few months and have learned to "check myself before I wreck myself" when it comes to desiring destructive scenarios. Same with fantastical thinking revolving around using drugs and committing violence. So unhealthy to allow to make your choices for you
Even when you entertain fantasies involving shitty people/scenarios you're selling yourself short because unless you're a real piece of shit, chances are you deserve your freedom and you're kinda telling yourself you don't.
I think personal accountability is what you need and perhaps losing your faith in DA BIG MAN UPSTAIRS has left an accountability hole in you because that's probably something you used to revere. Not saying that's what you need but something similar to feel beholden to is probably important. Dealing with loss is a barrier of personal accountability too. I really worry what I'll be like if I lose certain people, I really need to develop some fall back coping skills in case that happensThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2022-03-26 at 9:33 PM UTCYeah it's kind of interesting the further I live, the more I find myself sort of always weighing the idea of 'trying to better myself' and 'jesus fuck who even cares at this point, it is what it is.'
Like you said, it's not HEALTHY to have self destructive thoughts, by definition, but when you don't care about healthy than you just... Don't care.
You're def right as far as me losing my faith in god and I will be the first to admit that there is a big difference between it, mainly the fact that with faith, regardless of how shitty things are, you can hold this belief that it's 'part of a plan' or whatever, that no matter what happens, God is there and will help you get through shit. When I gave that up, I didn't necessarily realize the impact that it has when I realize that life is truly on my terms and I am completely responsible for myself and my actions.
That said, I still just can't arbitrarily start pretending I believe in god again just for the sake of hoping it will help me and my accountability. It would obviously feel disenguine as fuck. But I suppose that's why people come up with other higher powers and I guess I could pretend the fucking cosmos is my leader and it'll make everything right in the end.
For now, I am DUST IN THE WIND.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2022-03-26 at 9:57 PM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ Yeah it's kind of interesting the further I live, the more I find myself sort of always weighing the idea of 'trying to better myself' and 'jesus fuck who even cares at this point, it is what it is.'
Like you said, it's not HEALTHY to have self destructive thoughts, by definition, but when you don't care about healthy than you just… Don't care.
You're def right as far as me losing my faith in god and I will be the first to admit that there is a big difference between it, mainly the fact that with faith, regardless of how shitty things are, you can hold this belief that it's 'part of a plan' or whatever, that no matter what happens, God is there and will help you get through shit. When I gave that up, I didn't necessarily realize the impact that it has when I realize that life is truly on my terms and I am completely responsible for myself and my actions.
That said, I still just can't arbitrarily start pretending I believe in god again just for the sake of hoping it will help me and my accountability. It would obviously feel disenguine as fuck. But I suppose that's why people come up with other higher powers and I guess I could pretend the fucking cosmos is my leader and it'll make everything right in the end.
For now, I am DUST IN THE WIND.
It's not about God PER SE it's about having something to be accountable to, be it family, a partner, a future you don't wanna fuck up. I can imagine some of thr forgiveness aspects of Christianity would be problematic for people trying to really change because they can always confess and be absolved.
I think it would be good to try to find something that you don't wanna disappoint or a foreseeable scenario you don't wannanfuck up. That's the attraction of self destruction and negative talk is it's a self fulfilling prophecy and you're setting yourself up for failure so you're never disappointed.
You're better than that man. Other people have shit? Fuck their shit that should be your shit. Go take it from them. Fucking rape them too, fucking undeserving bitches take what's rightfully yoursThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2022-03-26 at 10:07 PM UTCThis may not be related that was all a roller coaster to read. I think self-sabotage happens because if you don’t achieve something and blame it on your mental health or whatever then you can still tell yourself you could achieve it, instead of having to face trying your best and failing.
I thrived during lockdown, spent more time outdoors than before it and think it was because there was no pressure, life was simple because everything had already gone to hell.
I think a change of environment could help. -
2022-03-26 at 10:24 PM UTCWow am I actually having an interesting discussion on here with some intelligent discourse and neat insights? Fake and gay.
What you said Kafka makes a lot of sense and I'm pretty sure I've considered that very thing- I can just blame everything on my mental health while keeping the idea that deep down I have the potential to do much better, but when I'm seemingly unable to, well it's my mental healths fault and I didn't have a choice. Fuck that actually makes a lot of sense.
Hmmmmmmm -
2022-03-26 at 10:32 PM UTCWhat if cocaine was legal though?
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2022-03-27 at 2:27 AM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo When the weather gets warmer I have more energy and feel less depressed and more motivated not to be addicted to opiates. I think I'm gonna make some strides towards a healthier lifestyle in the next few weeks.
I still wanna be a drunken coked up slut all the time but I'm aspiring for more
Drunken, coked up sluts are people, too.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2022-03-27 at 2:29 AM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ Sometimes I think for me it's my lack of accountability. Whenever I've been in a controlled environment like incarceration or halfway house or inpatient treatment, I somehow EXCEL. I do everything right as long as I have something hanging over my head to incentivise me to, but I've been off paper and out of treatments for years now, and it's just this weird rollercoaster of poor choices and good choices.
Like obviously I'd still prefer to be free but sometimes I wish a lengthy prison sentence was hanging over my head if I didn't get my shit together, and I realize more normal people would simply say to this 'well, time to man up and be adult, hold yourself accountable, put on your big boy pants etc etc' and they're not wrong. I just haven't been good at it. I'm actually surprised I've managed to not become homeless, that's like my biggest accomplishment lol.
But! I will still try and hold on to the hope that I can figure it out.
It's like a naughty dog and the rolled up newspaper trick. -
2022-03-27 at 3:43 AM UTC
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2022-03-27 at 3:45 AM UTC
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2022-03-27 at 5:04 AM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo Or smoke some dang crack or consume some other intoxicating substance if that's what you're into
Me, myself, I will be kissing muh bby boi on his rapidly expanding noggin before venturing to the woods wearing a kimono…
I dug a moat, filled it with hunny and am currently surrounded by silly old bears 🐻
YOu really misgender HTS as a boy and use "his" to describe his body parts.
Pretty fucked up to do that to another man you claim to love and support's transcendence beyond her gender assigned at birth.
I used to think you were n ok person, with your biggest redeeming feature was your love of your partner.
Shame on you.
Call me HTS :) -
2022-03-27 at 5:05 AM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ Yeah it's kind of interesting the further I live, the more I find myself sort of always weighing the idea of 'trying to better myself' and 'jesus fuck who even cares at this point, it is what it is.'
Like you said, it's not HEALTHY to have self destructive thoughts, by definition, but when you don't care about healthy than you just… Don't care.
You're def right as far as me losing my faith in god and I will be the first to admit that there is a big difference between it, mainly the fact that with faith, regardless of how shitty things are, you can hold this belief that it's 'part of a plan' or whatever, that no matter what happens, God is there and will help you get through shit. When I gave that up, I didn't necessarily realize the impact that it has when I realize that life is truly on my terms and I am completely responsible for myself and my actions.
That said, I still just can't arbitrarily start pretending I believe in god again just for the sake of hoping it will help me and my accountability. It would obviously feel disenguine as fuck. But I suppose that's why people come up with other higher powers and I guess I could pretend the fucking cosmos is my leader and it'll make everything right in the end.
For now, I am DUST IN THE WIND.
Why can't you actually be accountable to yourself, like no shit accountable?
Like people act like it is cool to not care, do whatever, move on, fly through life by the seat of your pants... and bury that part of you that kills you on the inside where you make a mistake or say something stupid.
That's considered bad. When you have that thought in the shower about that stupid argument where you looked like a fool... No! Shove it down! Bad! Cringe! You're a free independent soul who don't need no accountability! Feeling bad is for losers!
Except if you actually go along with that line of thinking your whole life, you will end up on your deathbed as a hollow and socially retarded individual who hurt everyone and never knew what was actually good for them.
I don't believe in God but I also don't believe in indeterministic free will. Whatever is happening is happening. We have less power and control than we like to imagine. So your happiness, whatever, make your best effort but understand that there's no plan but there's also nothing you can really do. Just do your best and hope everything turns out for the best and don't concern yourself with such retarded abstract shit.
I long since accepted I am a meat machine, but the only part that interests me is "ok so now what?" Very quickly such problems dissolve to irrelevance.
Can't god just he reality? Why does its "plan" have to make us happy?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2022-03-27 at 12:56 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo It's either that or borscht, I'd be obstructive too.
It's funny McDonalds said this was a "temporary measure" so as not to appear complicit but laid off 60k employees with little to no severance, whose only crime was being Russian. I doubt they will open back up to the same capacity so most of those employees are definitely shit out of luck
People in the US cry about fast food service employees getting 15/hr while ones in other countries are lucky to work at all
People in the US don't cry unless Trump wins. Then 5% of the tards lose their shit
