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Groceries girl thinks my sperm is full of diseases

  1. #1
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    It's kinda ironic, I meet her and she's recovering from something that is probably omicron, and sporting massive cold sores. Do I avoid her? No. I kiss her and go down on her and all the usual. Meanwhile she thinks willy is full of diseases, won't touch it with her mouth, won't let me fuck her without a condom, etc.

    I'm using acyclovir cream so I don't get her cold sores (my mom says I get them, I never remember it, but better safe). I dunno what to think about the whole situation. Does she really think my sperm has diseases? I made fun of this throughout our time together, but maybe she's just the sort of nervous wreck who is so afraid of disease she'll never have unprotected sex. Pregnancy never once same up when I was saying "no I don't want to use a condom" and she was telling me "no use condom".

    She wants children, but she wants to wait until she's 45-50 to have them. Yeah, I know, but she genuinely believes it realistic, because some hollywood celebrities have had children at that sort of age. She's about 35 now. Already way too old.
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  2. #2
    cigreting Dark Matter
    42 and older is a 10% chance of getting pregnant
    Probably just doesnt want yours. You don't happen to be pulling a sudo here are you?
  3. #3
    Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Donald Trump She wants children, but she wants to wait until she's 45-50 to have them.

    Wtf?

    35/36 is the peak then not worth it after that. People may think I'm a scum bag spreading my seed but that doesn't mean I'm a bad father. I was a degenerate, drug addicted ass hole before I got clean properly and smelt the coffee.

    Providing the bastards who get in touch are ones conceived with hot girls I will welcome them into the family.
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  4. #4
    Bradley Black Hole
    can we see a photo of her?
  5. #5
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    You should pull off the condom and bust on her skin and see if she writhes in agony like it's acidic. It's clearly all in her head. She sounds like a funny trip.

    Maybe tell her you jacked off and burned your hand up or your firey diseased sperm rots through condoms. Keep the insanity going
  6. #6
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by cigreting 42 and older is a 10% chance of getting pregnant
    Probably just doesnt want yours. You don't happen to be pulling a sudo here are you?

    Wow you really think about me alot don't you? You just can't stop thinking about my big chadly pecker sexing women you are afraid to talk to. Why don't you make a thread about me to put all your thoughts and feelings about me in instead of having them spill over into irrelevant topics
  7. #7
    cigreting Dark Matter
    you referring to your boyfriends penis again?
  8. #8
    you should cheat on her
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  9. #9
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    Originally posted by Bradley can we see a photo of her?





    She loves grocery shopping. The first time we met she asked me to buy her groceries and we fought over how much she was buying. Ever since her grocery shopping has always annoyed me, not because of cost, but because of how much these fucking groceries weigh to get home.
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  10. #10
    Bradley Black Hole
    that's so wholesome~!!!! :)
  11. #11
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    We have had constant fights, usually about money and groceries. Every visit we have a fight. The latest visit things were going great, until the last day, when she was like a weasel because of being up from bed early.

    She wants groceries and hates whenever I leave a tip in restaurants, etc. On Sunday as I was leaving Kyiv we woke up early, we went to bed around 4am, and woke around 10am. She was bitchy as shit. Complained about everything. I tidied the AirBND and we left bottles in the bottle bank in Podil, her complaining all the time. It's not like she had to carry anything. We were supposed to go get my hair cut in Kyiv Pasazhyrskyi (passenger) railway station, but she had so much groceries bought I couldn't even carry them. There were bottles of wine, but she wouldn't leave them behind. She even wanted to take toilet paper out of the bathroom and tissue paper out of the kitchen. Apparently how she was raised. She eventually did what I told her to, but it was frustrating.

    Took a Bolt (app taxi, like Uber) to the airport, and she started rubbing me and saying how much she liked me and shit. Very annoying. She acts manipulative when she wants to, but not well. I just bailed at the airport, and got about 50 whatsapp messages from her about how she loves me and had a headache and shit. Sent the Bolt back to her mom's apartment on the east (left) bank. Its constant dealing with drama with her.
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  12. #12
    Covertly put some hot sauce on ur fingers before u slip inside her so shes sure u gave her megaaids
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  13. #13
    Incessant African Astronaut
    Originally posted by General Butt.Naked Covertly put some hot sauce on ur fingers before u slip inside her so shes sure u gave her megaaids

    Jalapano genitals is no joke. Don't even suggest this for the lols.
  14. #14
    I did it on accident after cooking one time. Was pretty lel.
  15. #15
    Incessant African Astronaut
    Originally posted by General Butt.Naked I did it on accident after cooking one time. Was pretty lel.

    Yeah same I had to tell my friend I would be late to meet them because I spent forever washing my junk.
  16. #16
    I felt bad. A little.
  17. #17
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    Originally posted by General Butt.Naked Covertly put some hot sauce on ur fingers before u slip inside her so shes sure u gave her megaaids

    I got my fingers inside her like once. She loves when I go down on her, but other than that it's a fully dressed willy or no entrance. Her clamped legs could press diamonds.
  18. #18
    Incessant African Astronaut
    Originally posted by General Butt.Naked I felt bad. A little.

    Wow only a little
  19. #19
    Originally posted by Donald Trump I got my fingers inside her like once. She loves when I go down on her, but other than that it's a fully dressed willy or no entrance. Her clamped legs could press diamonds.

    Thats kinda selectively dumb. Tell her no blowjob no groceries
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  20. #20
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    Originally posted by General Butt.Naked Thats kinda selectively dumb. Tell her no blowjob no groceries

    She has never even once gone near my willy with her mouth. I kinda respect it. I have sex with hookers sometimes, and they are sucking off my dick like they're calves sucking on a cow and going on about how they love the taste of sperm and how when I cum they cum and it's fake and stupid and annoying.

    Groceries is at least honest. I have never seen her orgasm - although the last few times I have gone down on her she seemed to react more than ever before. I do stuff to her with my tongue that made any previous girl I did it to squirt and writhe and nearly squeeze my head like a watermelon with her thighs, but nothing.

    OTOH while she isn't glamorous or sexy or sensual or anything, she's honest and pretty and grounded, and I like that.
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