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The Retarded Thread: Get off that bus edition

  1. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Kafka I didn’t sleep last night, am hungover, already threw up, in a shopping centre cafeteria now feeling like a zombie.

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  2. Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Kafka I didn’t sleep last night, am hungover, already threw up, in a shopping centre cafeteria now feeling like a zombie.

    Man I don't miss those feelz. I almost feel sick imagining the hangover. 🤢🤮
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  3. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Aleister Crowley Man I don't miss those feelz. I almost feel sick imagining the hangover. 🤢🤮

    I remember waking up one time on the floor with a cat pawing at me, wondering why I couldn't see properly

    I was wearing a horse mask half full with vomit
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  4. Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
    Originally posted by aldra I remember waking up one time on the floor with a cat pawing at me, wondering why I couldn't see properly

    I was wearing a horse mask half full with vomit

    I remember lying on a bathroom floor hugging the toilet, room spinning and the sound my mate stumbling to the toilet. I could feel the hot splashes of his piss that bounced off the bowl hit my face.

    Real horror show.
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  5. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by SEGA Nigga Drive I'll list two: being cool and interesting. Two things you've never experienced being.

    You have a history of making things up on the internet in an attempt to make yourself appear more "cool and interesting" so it is quite clear that you do not believe yourself to be so. In this case characterizing someone as the opposite of your desires is a clear projection. It must really suck to be you
  6. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    I inhaled a shitload of carbon dioxide from a gas powered trash pump and feel like I have a hangover. Coincidentally I deflooded my basement instead of drankin last night. It kept smelling like crack smoke and triggering me and I remembered a buncha times I smoked crack a decade ago I was trying to forget. THANKS BRANDON
  7. Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
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  8. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    The fiddler diddler
  9. SEGA Nigga Drive Tuskegee Airman
    Diddler Drogba
  10. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    I just noticed Someone removed a few thanks from me and I want you to know that you are a petty little bitch and your mother has a yeast infection
  11. Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Sudo I just noticed Someone removed a few thanks from me and I want you to know that you are a petty little bitch and your mother has a yeast infection

    I've never noticed this happen. I mean there's people on here I don't like but if they post something funny it won't stop me thanking them.
  12. Bradley Florida Man
    Sometimes i get high and i'm skimming through old posts to get to the GOOD shit and i see i liked some gay comment and no longer feel the same, so i unthank it like a girlfriend who says forever and always but also has a Tindr "to meet new friends on"
  13. RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Originally posted by aldra I remember waking up one time on the floor with a cat pawing at me, wondering why I couldn't see properly

    I was wearing a horse mask half full with vomit

    I woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed and had to go to a psych ward for 3 days all because I took too many kpins and they thought I was trying to kill myself, when in reality I just forgot how many I took earlier and kept eating them. Stupid fucking towel head doctors.
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  14. aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by RIPtotse I woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed and had to go to a psych ward for 3 days all because I took too many kpins and they thought I was trying to kill myself, when in reality I just forgot how many I took earlier and kept eating them. Stupid fucking towel head doctors.

    LOL

    I remember 'waking up' from a blackout mid-step running away from hospital, faceplanting and making a bloodsplosion

    I wish I still had the photo of me being leather-strapped to a guerney and wheeled back into the hospital giving a thumbs-up with blood trailing behind it


    was probably around 10 years ago and prompted me to slow down on the drinking
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  15. Bradley Florida Man
    dropping a tree on myself was a good wake up call, it kinda really still hurts to cough and sneeze and lay on my back
  16. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    I have only ever had bad experiences on benzos and usually immediately after taking them
  17. the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
    lmao

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  18. the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
    Reports say the larches were planted in 1938. It is unclear how the trees came to be planted and arranged in such a fashion. It seems they were planted in commemoration of Adolf Hitler's birthday, either by local Hitler Youth members[1] or by a warden.[2]

    For a few weeks every year in the autumn and in the spring, the colour of the larch leaves would change, contrasting with the deep green of the pine forest.[2] The short duration of the effect, combined with the fact that the image could only be discerned from the air and the relative scarcity of privately owned airplanes in the area, meant that the swastika went largely unnoticed after the fall of Nazi Germany. During the subsequent Socialist period, Soviet authorities reportedly knew of its existence but made no effort to remove it.[3] However, in 1992, the reunified German government ordered aerial surveys of all state-owned land. The photographs were examined by forestry students, who immediately noticed the design.

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  19. Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    My friends wife is German so I'm sending it to him and he is always drunk so he'll laugh and show it to her and she will hate me more
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  20. SEGA Nigga Drive Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Sudo My friends wife is German so I'm sending it to him and he is always drunk so he'll laugh and show it to her and she will hate me more

    No she isn't and hintiy won't. Jesus you are pathetic with this "trying to lie to be interesting" shit.

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