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Newcomb's Paradox Thread

  1. #61
    frala Avant garde shartist
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson "Think out of the box"

    We can’t even decide which box to pick!
  2. #62
    Jeff Hunter did 9/11
  3. #63
    James T Kirk didn't beat the Kobayashi Maru test with conventional thinking.
  4. #64
    Lanny Bird of Courage
    Maybe this is actually some next level play where you're just publicly saying you'll pick the wrong thing so when Omega receives our radio transmissions he'll decide to put a million bucks in box B for you. But guess what. Some alcoholic programmer who can't write a sentence without spellcheck figured out your gambit, so if this dipshit Omega is too retarded to do the same I don't want any part of his dirty money.
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  5. #65
    WellHung Black Hole (banned)
    beta Chi Omega
  6. #66


    ..and shoot the nigga.
  7. #67
    Jeff Hunter did 9/11
  8. #68
    Meikai Heck This Schlong
    Originally posted by Lanny You know that's wrong you nigger. You know A+B is correct, you just wanted to meme. Fuck you Lucy, fuck you.

    The objectively correct answer is B. Not memeing, it simply is. As would be demonstrated when we opened our boxes, and I came out $999,000 wealthier than you. And it'd all have been for the sake of... what? Being correct on paper?

    Being very generous to two boxers and assuming that this time, A+B nets more utility/money/whatever, we still have to reckon with the fact that 100 times out of a 101, making the "correct" decision demonstrably meant making the worse decision. And is that actually even making the correct decision? Is that winning? If there were two tribes of equal sizes - the Onebox Tribe and the Twobox Tribe - and all were to get their chance at playing the game (disregarding any implications this might have for the initial hypothetical) the Onebox Tribe is all but guaranteed to quickly amass vast riches the likes of which the sad little Twoboxers could scarcely imagine.

    Originally posted by Yud Maybe it's too easy to say that you "ought to" two-box on Newcomb's Problem, that this is the "reasonable" thing to do, so long as the money isn't actually in front of you. Maybe you're just numb to philosophical dilemmas, at this point. What if your daughter had a 90% fatal disease, and box A contained a serum with a 20% chance of curing her, and box B might contain a serum with a 95% chance of curing her? What if there was an asteroid rushing toward Earth, and box A contained an asteroid deflector that worked 10% of the time, and box B might contain an asteroid deflector that worked 100% of the time?

    Would you, at that point, find yourself tempted to make an unreasonable choice?

    A+Bers would happily choose to the answer most likely to get us killed in the asteroid formulation of this question. This is an undeniable fact. You would win on paper. Oh, you made the reasonable choice. You got us that 10% chance. But how much better is that 10% chance than a 0% chance? How much better is it really, when the alternative was a perfect solution you were all but guaranteed by the reliability of the predictor? With actual life or death stakes, the daunting off-the-paper reality that you're most likely dooming the planet to extinction looms pretty large. Anyone who would begrudge the oneboxer for taking a 99% chance at a guaranteed solution over a 100% chance on a solution that's likely to fail is an idiot. Practically speaking, B is the only reasonable choice.
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  9. #69
    Lanny Bird of Courage
    Slightly more sophisticated argument but still vacuous. As always though, it's impressive you can burn this much intellectual effort on being wrong.

    The neo-oneboxer position is that we don't have any real agency in picking a box (either we're destined to pick either A or A+B, or our decision is a probabilistic outcome) but that somehow we have agency in choosing to be a oneboxer or twoboxer. Which there is absolutely no reason to believe. Even if I subscribe to the questionable logic that informs your position, I have no more choice in being a one or twoboxer and convincing omega of that than I do in defying whatever the odds are of Omega being incorrect about which category I fall into. Maybe my lot in life is that when I'm confronted with Omega there won't be a million dollars, but I won't struggle against what I can not change, I boldly face down the blatant unfairness of the situation, the cosmic clockwork or random flux that brings me to that crossroads, and I will make the objectively correct decision for deceit would net me nothing but cost me my dignity. Foolish oneboxers seek to struggle against the tides of the cosmos but I flow with it. I accept the limits of my agency, but in so far as I have any I will use it correctly. You will thank me when I pogrom the plague victims and save your puny civilization for you do not deserve it but I will be there, the protector, the unmovable, the objectively correct. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of reason.

    DO NOT TEST ME LUCY
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  10. #70
    Jeff Hunter did 9/11
  11. #71
    Meikai Heck This Schlong
    Originally posted by Lanny Slightly more sophisticated argument but still vacuous. As always though, it's impressive you can burn this much intellectual effort on being wrong.

    The neo-oneboxer position is that we don't have any real agency in picking a box (either we're destined to pick either A or A+B, or our decision is a probabilistic outcome) but that somehow we have agency in choosing to be a oneboxer or twoboxer. Which there is absolutely no reason to believe. Even if I subscribe to the questionable logic that informs your position, I have no more choice in being a one or twoboxer and convincing omega of that than I do in defying whatever the odds are of Omega being incorrect about which category I fall into. Maybe my lot in life is that when I'm confronted with Omega there won't be a million dollars, but I won't struggle against what I can not change, I boldly face down the blatant unfairness of the situation, the cosmic clockwork or random flux that brings me to that crossroads, and I will make the objectively correct decision for deceit would net me nothing but cost me my dignity. Foolish oneboxers seek to struggle against the tides of the cosmos but I flow with it. I accept the limits of my agency, but in so far as I have any I will use it correctly. You will thank me when I pogrom the plague victims and save your puny civilization for you do not deserve it but I will be there, the protector, the unmovable, the objectively correct. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of reason.

    DO NOT TEST ME LUCY

    I don't struggle against the tides of the cosmos, I just accept that whatever I pick is most likely going to be what Omega predicted and so pick the answer most likely to grant the greatest reward. And I'll be right to do so. Probably. Simple as.
  12. #72
    frala Avant garde shartist
    Somebody has been watching too many Lifetime movies…
  13. #73
    Xlite African Astronaut
    I'll take box A and call it a day.
    There's no way i'm that lucky. Besides, i dont really need that amount of moneh anyway.
  14. #74
    Meikai Heck This Schlong
    Originally posted by Xlite I'll take box A and call it a day.
    There's no way i'm that lucky. Besides, i dont really need that amount of moneh anyway.

    Omega fires a green energy beam from one of its vertices, the impact of which converts you into a being of pure energy. "Congratulations. You have completed many cycles of life and rebirth here, and chosen humbly. You have become wise, and now you have become free." it says. It then absorbs your energized form through the pulsating green cracks that line its body, and you are never heard from again. Not in this universe anyway.
  15. #75
    What_a_Kreep Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Meikai Alright.



    Do you take A+B, or only B?

    How big is the box that supposedly contains a million dollars?

    Like, I mean it would have to be a pretty big box, right?

    My first answer was take only B. Choosing to take both seems pretty greedy. My instant thought was, "what kind of asshole would choose both A + B"

    Also, you can't choose just "A" because then you're the person who could have missed out on a million dollars just to end up $1,000.00.

    If you're on a game show you get the option to "just leave now with a $1,000." or "spin the wheel for a chance at a million"

    I'ma spin that wheel.


    Also, this reminds me of a game show from the early 2000's (i didn't watch it btw, but I knew what it was).

    Basically this guy, Howie Mandel hosted. (i have no idea why I remember his name, i think he was famous in the 80s or in Menudo or something) Basically 23 minutes of Vanna White bitches open up suite cases.

    God, white people will watch anything.
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  16. #76
    Grylls Cum Looking Faggot [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    Could have been an IOU

    WHEEL OF FORTUNE ??????
  17. #77
    Meikai Heck This Schlong
    Originally posted by What_a_Kreep How big is the box that supposedly contains a million dollars?

    Like, I mean it would have to be a pretty big box, right?

    My first answer was take only B. Choosing to take both seems pretty greedy. My instant thought was, "what kind of asshole would choose both A + B"

    Also, you can't choose just "A" because then you're the person who could have missed out on a million dollars just to end up $1,000.00.

    If you're on a game show you get the option to "just leave now with a $1,000." or "spin the wheel for a chance at a million"

    I'ma spin that wheel.


    Also, this reminds me of a game show from the early 2000's (i didn't watch it btw, but I knew what it was).

    Basically this guy, Howie Mandel hosted. (i have no idea why I remember his name, i think he was famous in the 80s or in Menudo or something) Basically 23 minutes of Vanna White bitches open up suite cases.

    God, white people will watch anything.

    Got curious and looked it up and apparently you can fit $1000000 in just... like... an average backpack (if its all in hunnits).
  18. #78
    im not going to take either box because if i take box b omega is probably going to ckme back and tell me i need to take a second box and another booster box skmetime after.
  19. #79
    Grylls Cum Looking Faggot [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny im not going to take either box because if i take box b omega is probably going to ckme back and tell me i need to take a second box and another booster box skmetime after.

    wariat?
  20. #80
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    B
    /thread.

    Tbis thread is now about things that make stupid.
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