How many 5 year olds could you defeat with your bare hands?

1. 2021-10-27 at 9:03 AM UTC

   #21
   

   Grylls Cum Looking Faggot [abrade this vocal tread-softly]

   Originally posted by DontTellEm Kinda positive u can’t even get it up then, little dick

   
   Did you get a new job at hooters or something?
2. 2021-10-27 at 12:34 PM UTC

   #22
   

   Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
   all of them.
3. 2021-10-27 at 2:03 PM UTC

   #23
   

   Narc Naturally Camouflaged [connect my yokel-like scolytidae]
   This^
   
   
   .
4. 2021-10-27 at 2:06 PM UTC

   #24
   

   ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Black Hole
   Just bring a bag of puddin' pops, and when the children go to swarm you, pirouette in circles and spray the contents of whole bag as you make your way toward safety.
5. 2021-10-27 at 3:59 PM UTC

   #25
   

   aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition

   Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson all of them.

   
   
   
   

   Originally posted by Narc This^

   
   can't wait to get their hands on as many five year olds as possible
6. 2021-10-27 at 5:30 PM UTC

   #26
   

   Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
   Their height is so convenient too....zip.
7. 2021-10-27 at 7:54 PM UTC

   #27
   

   mmG African Astronaut

   Originally posted by mmQ But do you see what he did there?

   
   Yeah, masturbating 5-year olds
   
   
   

   My answer is 22.
   
   I have no idea why other than it's my favorite number and seems reasonable without being .. pretentious or something. I'd like to say 100 but I'm trying to be realistic.
   
   I think Joe Rogan was asked this and he said 100 . Not this exactly but idk he was all weirdly confident that he could destroy dozens and dozens of kids attacking him at once , but it was really obvious that he was trying to sound cool when in fact he knows he would get his ass kicked at the end of the day. You just can't beat numbers (unless they're babies and toddlers I suppose but even still.
   
   Like I would also think I could take on a bunch of WOLVES since I'd just kick em really hard as they come at me but no they would just keep coming and it wouldn't take long for them to overwhelm and kill me, as a matter of fact I'm not even sure I could defeat one single wolf by myself but I like to think I could.
   
   But yeah, probably 22 5 year olds

   
   Good answer but I think you are too weak for 22, you should start with like 21.
   
   Joe Rogan is smaller than your average 5-year old
8. 2021-10-27 at 7:56 PM UTC

   #28
   

   mmG African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Meikai how determined are they? have they had any coaching? did their parents regularly beat the shit out of them before showing up in the battle cube? how hardened are their spirits? how much resolve do they have? whatever… my answer is like… 7 kids? maybe. maybe not even that many idk. if 7 five year olds all rushed me at the same time and started biting me… yeah idk. i don't think it'd take that many rly. im picturing scenarios where they straight up take me down like a pack of wolves. as long as they're biting and clawing and going for my throat/eyes with pure animal fury, i'm probably fuckin' done for.

   
   Fully bloodlusted. They don't care about dying, just harming you as badly as possible. Although they still feel and respond to pain physically, it just doesn't break their motivation to kill you.
9. 2021-10-27 at 7:59 PM UTC

   #29
   

   mmG African Astronaut
   Bonus round: you are given a choice of a carpenter's hammer, a big knife like Rambo and a shepherd's staff 5ft long.
10. 2021-10-27 at 8:35 PM UTC

    #30
    

    Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole

    Originally posted by mmG Bonus round: you are given a choice of a carpenter's hammer, a big knife like Rambo and a shepherd's staff 5ft long.

    
    Knife, it's more personal
11. 2021-10-27 at 9:03 PM UTC

    #31
    

    Meikai Heck This Schlong

    Originally posted by mmG Fully bloodlusted. They don't care about dying, just harming you as badly as possible. Although they still feel and respond to pain physically, it just doesn't break their motivation to kill you.

    
    Okay I'm dropping my answer to like 5. You could theoretically undermine the structural integrity of an adult human's body by breaking bone, but kids just... bend. It's creepy. They're just going to fight through the pain of their greenstick fractures and keep coming at you. Suspect I can incapacitate or kill one or two with choke holds but in the time that takes the other 3 or 4 will be able to end me.
12. 2021-10-27 at 9:05 PM UTC

    #32
    

    Meikai Heck This Schlong

    Originally posted by mmG Bonus round: you are given a choice of a carpenter's hammer, a big knife like Rambo and a shepherd's staff 5ft long.

    
    Do I get the rest of the Little Bo Peep outfit or just the crook? (This will actually change my answer.)
13. 2021-10-27 at 9:32 PM UTC

    #33
    

    mmG African Astronaut
    If you'd prefer, sure
14. 2021-10-27 at 9:32 PM UTC

    #34
    

    mmG African Astronaut
    But they will also ridicule you
15. 2021-10-27 at 9:58 PM UTC

    #35
    

    Meikai Heck This Schlong

    Originally posted by mmG But they will also ridicule you

    
    This is fine, the Little Bo Peep outfit has a lot of fabric and ruffles. I can't easily tear the clothes I'm wearing now, but I likely could rip off strips of thin fabric from the Little Bo Peep outfit and tie the kids up. Also, being free from pants, I will have a greater range of motion. They can laugh at me all they want but the feral little shits are getting hogtied.
16. 2021-10-27 at 10:07 PM UTC

    #36
    lockedin Tuskegee Airman
    The author of this post has returned to nothingness
17. 2021-10-27 at 11:01 PM UTC

    #37
    

    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Black Hole
    I would use one of my lifelines and call in two dozen porcupines.
18. 2021-10-27 at 11:28 PM UTC

    #38
    

    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition

    Originally posted by Meikai They can laugh at me all they want but the feral little shits are getting hogtied.

    
    getting real weird with it huh
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Meikai
19. 2021-10-27 at 11:31 PM UTC

    #39
    

    Meikai Heck This Schlong

    Originally posted by aldra getting real weird with it huh

    
    Look I'm taking this very seriously and would appreciate it if you'd all do the same.
20. 2021-10-27 at 11:36 PM UTC

    #40
    

    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    I'd take the knife, but to be fair I'd expect they all have knives too
    
    so... 10?