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Most painless way to kill yourself?

  1. #61
    Supposedly, drowning isn't so bad. Once you breathe the first few gallons of water, you get sleepy and just drift off into eternity.
  2. #62
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    "sealed"
  3. #63
    I'd say just fill your pockets and socks full with old double-A batteries, rent a small boat, and go right out to the deepest part of the ocean, say 35,000 feet, and just flop over the side. It would take you just a few minutes to get down to the desired atmospheric pressure to almost instantaneously explode your entire body into small fleshy shreds.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. #64
    Antifa Member African Astronaut
    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I'd say just fill your pockets and socks full with old double-A batteries, rent a small boat, and go right out to the deepest part of the ocean, say 35,000 feet, and just flop over the side. It would take you just a few minutes to get down to the desired atmospheric pressure to almost instantaneously explode your entire body into small fleshy shreds.

    Thats the most creative answer yet
  5. #65
    Then the aquatic animals would be able to feast on your remains, rendering your life at least partially worthwhile.
  6. #66
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Then the aquatic animals would be able to feast on your remains

    along with the 20kg or so of metal and acid
  7. #67
    Antifa Member African Astronaut
    Is there a way to turn myself into sausage automatically?
  8. #68
    Antifa Member African Astronaut
    Originally posted by ⠀rabbitwe­ed ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ yes. shrink wrap.

    then climb into my asshole.

    i love having large sausages in my asshole.

    Okay dude.
  9. #69
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by Antifa Member Okay dude.

    lol ur a pussy
  10. #70
    blaster master victim of incest
  11. #71
    Ghost Black Hole
    yeah i will kick the chair for you, thats what friends are for <3
  12. #72
    Antifa Member African Astronaut
    Originally posted by blaster master you should get some help OP

    no never
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  13. #73
    Technologist victim of incest
    §m£ÂgØL,
    If you kill yourself, I’ll kill you a second time. Don’t ask me how, but I’ll do it dammit. Don’t test me😠
  14. #74
    Originally posted by Antifa Member Is there a way to turn myself into sausage automatically?

    Sure. Just get a ladder and walk straight into a meat processing center, climb up on the ladder, and then jump straight into the industrial meat grinder, before any of them can stop you. If you're lucky, you might even get sold to the local supermarkets, thus nourishing the community.
  15. #75
    Antifa Member African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Technologist §m£ÂgØL,
    If you kill yourself, I’ll kill you a second time. Don’t ask me how, but I’ll do it dammit. Don’t test me😠

    If anyone kills me I'm killing them back right after

    That's why I have to get ahead of all the killers and kill myself first. They can't kill me if im already killed.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  16. #76
    Technologist victim of incest
    Originally posted by Antifa Member If anyone kills me I'm killing them back right after

    That's why I have to get ahead of all the killers and kill myself first. They can't kill me if im already killed.

    I told you I’d find a way!!! Dammit, don’t test me😡
  17. #77
    blaster master victim of incest
  18. #78
    Just pour a few gallons of highly-flammable fuel gel on your head and body and then light yourself on fire. Your chances of surviving that is literally zero, since the gel sticks to the skin and flesh as it burns. All that would be left is the charred and burnt skeleton. Intense pain for about two or three minutes, and then your body would go into shock and shut down and you wouldn't feel a single thing after that.
  19. #79
    Or get a mortal shell and tape it to your belly or back and then hit the fuse on the tip with a hammer a few times and bang... a crater at least 30 feet across, and your entire body would be instantly vaporized into a gaseous form, of which you would feel nothing the millisecond after the vaporization.
  20. #80
    Another quick and painless death would be to cut your own head off with a chainsaw, ziiipp... takes like half a second... or build your own homemade guillotine.
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