How to rob a conservative gun owner's home: A step by step guide

1. 2020-09-25 at 4:56 PM UTC

   #1
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   1. Wear plain clothes
   2. Knock on the door and say you're a cop
   3. If they answer the door, tell them again that you're a cop serving a warrant and proceed to take and do whatever you want
   4. If they dont answer, break in and say you're a cop. Have your weapon drawn. If the person is home, they will automatically believe you and wont resist or defend themselves. Proceed to take and do whatever you want.
   5. Thank them for their cooperation and tell them you'll be in touch with them or some bullshit.
   6. Repeat as many times as necessary
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • RIPtotse, 
   • Obbe
2. 2020-09-25 at 4:58 PM UTC

   #2
   

   aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
   I wouldn't roll those dice myself
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • DontTellEm
3. 2020-09-25 at 5:04 PM UTC

   #3
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle

   Originally posted by aldra I wouldn't roll those dice myself

   
   Well according to all of them I've heard from, that's what Breonna Taylor's boyfriend should've done and that's exactly how they would respond if they were in that position. Zero resistance. 100% compliance. The most important part is just to announce and insist that you're a cop, and they will believe you.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • RIPtotse
4. 2020-09-25 at 5:09 PM UTC

   #4
   

   the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
5. 2020-09-26 at 12:41 AM UTC

   #5
   Nil African Astronaut [the overexcited four-footed chanar]

   Originally posted by mmQ Well according to all of them I've heard from, that's what Breonna Taylor's boyfriend should've done and that's exactly how they would respond if they were in that position. Zero resistance. 100% compliance. The most important part is just to announce and insist that you're a cop, and they will believe you.

   
   There was an incident in my province where some guy impersonated a police officer, driving an unmarked vehicle. Prolly a Ford Explorer, pulls over a woman and raped her.
   
   The police by utilizing unmarked vehicles caused this to happen in my opinion.
6. 2020-09-26 at 12:45 AM UTC

   #6
   WellHung Black Hole
   did Breonna Taylor fuck niggers?
7. 2020-09-26 at 1:14 AM UTC

   #7
   Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged

   Originally posted by WellHung did Breonna Taylor fuck niggers?

   
   yes, she was a nigger.
8. 2020-09-26 at 1:21 AM UTC

   #8
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   It helps if you break down their door at around 1 in the morning when the homeowners are sleeping and will be especially startled. Just make sure you say that you're a cop, but even if they dont hear you, they'll assume you're just a cop serving a warrant and not try to defend themselves.
9. 2020-09-26 at 1:24 AM UTC

   #9
   Nil African Astronaut [the overexcited four-footed chanar]
   Don't forget to throw a flashbang into any cribs too.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • mmQ
10. 2020-09-26 at 1:27 AM UTC

    #10
    

    Technologist victim of incest

    Originally posted by Nil Don't forget to throw a flashbang into any cribs too.

    
    I’ll send ya a flash bang💥
    
    😁
11. 2020-09-26 at 1:32 AM UTC

    #11
    Nil African Astronaut [the overexcited four-footed chanar]
    If they have a dog, even a Chihuahua, be sure you silence it.
    
    
    With a bullet.
12. 2020-09-26 at 1:33 AM UTC

    #12
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by Nil There was an incident in my province where some guy impersonated a police officer, driving an unmarked vehicle. Prolly a Ford Explorer, pulls over a woman and raped her.
    
    The police by utilizing unmarked vehicles caused this to happen in my opinion.

    
    I just assume every vehicle is an unmarked police car and every person I see in public is an officer. If I'm ever physically confronted or assaulted, I dont fight back or defend myself as I assume they're a cop and I probably just match the description of someone theyre looking for. Better safe than sorry.
13. 2020-09-26 at 1:48 AM UTC

    #13
    

    POLECAT POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret [my presentably immunised ammonification]
14. 2020-09-26 at 3:27 AM UTC

    #14
    Nil African Astronaut [the overexcited four-footed chanar]

    Originally posted by mmQ I just assume every vehicle is an unmarked police car and every person I see in public is an officer

    
    Me too but it was probably just the consistent meth use.
15. 2020-09-26 at 3:48 AM UTC

    #15
    

    cigreting Dark Matter

    Originally posted by Nil If they have a dog, even a Chihuahua, be sure you silence it.
    
    
    With a bullet.

    
    or ue penis
16. 2020-09-26 at 3:51 AM UTC

    #16
    

    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    They need to open up cops to personal lawsuits and bankrupt them. If they're paying through the nose for their trigger-happy outbursts, they'll be a lot less likely to squeeze the trigger.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Sudo
17. 2020-09-26 at 4:37 AM UTC

    #17
    

    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    To make sure they really think you're a cop you should beat the fuck out of their wife and say "whoops sorry about that, jack, I thought you were mine for a minute, I hope you don't mind that" and they'll be like "oh it's ok, sir, are we good?" and be sure to tell them to "hang tight" and mention that you were bullied mercilessly as a youth and can't get an erection without someone calling them "sir" and commenting on how much they like his black socks
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • DontTellEm
18. 2020-09-26 at 5:19 AM UTC

    #18
    

    Meikai Heck This Schlong
    Depends on the conservative. If it's a boomer sure, but you try this with a 2A lovin' boogaloo fren and you might just get blasted.
    
    
    
    On the real though, I think most people (regardless of political affiliation) would at the very least hesitate in this situation. Not saying that as a comment on the Breonna Taylor case, which is fucked, I just mean like... most people would be cowed by their door getting bashed in and someone screaming "we're with the police" as you burst into their house. At the very least I think it'd give you a huge upper hand in pretty much any home invasion situation, even if it quickly became apparent that you weren't actually with the police. It'd keep them off kilter for an extra second or two.
19. 2020-09-26 at 5:21 AM UTC

    #19
    DontTellEm Black Hole

    Originally posted by Sudo To make sure they really think you're a cop you should beat the fuck out of their wife and say "whoops sorry about that, jack, I thought you were mine for a minute, I hope you don't mind that" and they'll be like "oh it's ok, sir, are we good?" and be sure to tell them to "hang tight" and mention that you were bullied mercilessly as a youth and can't get an erection without someone calling them "sir" and commenting on how much they like his black socks

    
    Lol. What in the fuck
20. 2020-09-26 at 5:26 AM UTC

    #20
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    Goodness, ur a needy shitstain, grasping for attention w the same homosexual innuendos.