My girlfriend is retarded

1. 2020-03-15 at 11:42 PM UTC

   #21
   

   ORACLE Naturally Camouflaged

   Originally posted by Sudo My girlfriend rarely goes anywhere without me and is pumped about the virus justifying her tendency to isolate her and her kid. She is rude to strangers too and threatened a black woman at a grocery store the other day, She's the person in my life least likely to infect me. Some friends of mine do retarded things though but I'm staying away from them

   
   Lol girlfriend with another man's kid, megacucked
   
   You'll never be as special as her kid's dad
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • Number13, 
   • cigreting
2. 2020-03-15 at 11:44 PM UTC

   #22
   

   aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition

   Originally posted by ORACLE No nigga, it's not that we are all gonna die… I just want you to appreciate raw statistics… 14 day incubation period before infection, R0 of 2.5 and 0.6-2% mortality… 39 million+ people are gonna die unless we all INDIVIDUALLY DO OUR PART.

   
   I'm going to do my part and give everyone the gift of COOF
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
3. 2020-03-15 at 11:59 PM UTC

   #23
   

   Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]

   Originally posted by ORACLE Lol girlfriend with another man's kid, megacucked
   
   You'll never be as special as her kid's dad

   
   Don't you literally own dildos?
4. 2020-03-16 at 12:33 AM UTC

   #24
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle

   Originally posted by section 8 housing hero I have an entire collection

   
   How many of them aren't inside you right now?
5. 2020-03-16 at 2:01 AM UTC

   #25
   

   Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]

   Originally posted by section 8 housing hero Come over and I'll show you.
   
   We'll start with the tactical dildo.

   
   finny detected
6. 2020-03-16 at 1:38 PM UTC

   #26
   

   ORACLE Naturally Camouflaged

   Originally posted by Sudo Don't you literally own dildos?

   
   Yeah but they're for shoving up my own ass
7. 2020-03-16 at 2:38 PM UTC

   #27
   

   -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]

   Originally posted by aldra I'm going to do my part and give everyone the gift of COOF

   
   Covfefe.
8. 2020-03-16 at 2:39 PM UTC

   #28
   

   -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]

   Originally posted by ORACLE Yeah but they're for shoving up my own ass

   
   quoted for posterity
9. 2020-03-16 at 4:37 PM UTC

   #29
   

   vindicktive vinny Black Hole

   Originally posted by Sudo finny detected

   
   by the time he takes out his tactical dildos its already too late.
10. 2020-03-16 at 4:42 PM UTC

    #30
    

    the man who put it in my hood Black Hole
    The beta social distancer
    
    "Hey baby it's cool I got a mask and all my shots let's go to the club"
11. 2020-03-16 at 5:15 PM UTC

    #31
    

    ORACLE Naturally Camouflaged
    The aloha social distancer
    
    "Hey kemosabe, it's cool I got my cowabunga pineapple pork spitroast hula firedancers let's go to the beach"
12. 2020-05-16 at 4:02 AM UTC

    #32
    

    zhn0k Yung Blood [my demonstrably wysiwyg hygrometer]

    Originally posted by OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III nigga what i want to know is how someone who is so intelligent can't see that they're just cucking you repeatedly by your fear, just like with every other outbreak that's supposed to kill us all every year or two

    
    [edit]
    [post deleted]
13. 2020-05-16 at 4:13 AM UTC

    #33
    I Live In Your Crawlspace Secretly4 Space Nigga
    Op1iez is nonce lel
14. 2020-05-16 at 4:57 AM UTC

    #34
    

    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    when someone says 'the R word' do you think of RETARD or RAPE
    
    
    or RETARD RAPE