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2020-06-26 at 10:09 PM UTC in Americans during the Spanish flu (1918)And lol @ assuming all my uncles are Hispanic.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-06-26 at 5:11 PM UTC in Todays my birthdayBill Krozby's plan for his birthday: get drunkThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-06-26 at 4:50 AM UTC in Random ThoughtsThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-06-26 at 5:48 AM UTC in 🍬🍬Candy~Land🍬🍬The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-06-26 at 12:28 AM UTC in 🍬🍬Candy~Land🍬🍬Okay so Nigger on the Moon is based on an old Minstrel tale about a dude named Uncle Rastus. The last line of the chorus is "No white trash can fool me" lol. I can't find shit though damn. It would be easier if I heard how it sounded at least. Anyway I had to type out this story because all I found was an image of it and it's hard to read, but all these typos were there lol. This is from issue 55 of 'Harper's Weekly' from 1911.
Uncle Rastus on Genesis
"The boy had climbed up on Uncle Rastus's knee with an appealing demand for a story which the old man was as usual utterly unable to resist.
"Once on a time," he began, 'dey was a gemman and a lady who lived in a gyarden. De name oh de gemmen was Adam, and the name ob de lady was Eve, and dey had most eberyting anybody wanted to eat. Dey was fresh vegtables in dat gyarden, and chickrns, and roast lamb, and mashed potaters sizzzlin' with gravy, ready for 'em tree times a day, and all dey really had to do was not eat none o' de apples in de orchard. Dey'd done been told not to fetch dem apples under no sukkumstances if dey wanted to stay dar, but if dey did done fetch 'em, dey'd hab to move out and live somewhar else, where dey'd hab to woyk for a libbin' by de sweat ob deir browes ant pay for deir bread and butter, and de chickens and de roast lamb, and de potaters all sizzlin' with gravy.
Well, I guess yo' know how dat was, sunny. Dey done lost all deir appetite fo' chickens and roast lamb and potaters all sizzlin' with gravy, and kep' a yearnin' and a yearnin' fo' dem apples, ontil finally de lady, while de gemman was out walkin' one day, sneaked ober to de orechard and after some howdy with a Mr. Snake what lived acrosst de way 'bout how sweet dem apples was, she done went and eat one ob 'em, savin' de core fo' de gemman's supper."
"Yes," said the boy, "and then they git fired."
"Yes," said Uncle Rastus, shaking his head, solemnly. "Dey'd gone and bruk de conract and dey done got fired. Dey packed up all deir furniture and deir household goods, and started lookin' fo' a new lodgin' place, but on deir way out dey had ter pass dat orechard oncet more, and dey went by one o' dem apples he done let out a laugh at 'em and began to guy 'em.
"Iti yah, Mistuh," he done holler. "Got fired, ain't ye!"
"Mistuh Adam, he done walk along, not sayin' nuthin but doin' a leap o' thinkin"
"Wouldn't like a glass o' cider fo' yo' go, would ye?" grinned the apple.
'Wid dat, Mistuh Adam done turned round and walk back to de tree, an' he grabbed dat old apple in his hands and he say, "I done suffered enough without standin no sass from you!" says he, and wid dat he squished de apple under his foot and walked away"
The old man paused for a moment and again scratched his wolly old head.
"And dat, sunny, was de origin ob- now what you s'pose?" he asked.
"I don't know, Uncle Rastus," said the boy, running over many possibilities in his mind.
"Apple sass!" said the old man.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-25 at 8:16 PM UTC in 🍬🍬Candy~Land🍬🍬The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-06-25 at 5:16 PM UTC in "finna" = "fixing to"Alabama - the north
Maryland - deep southThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-25 at 2:27 PM UTC in White lives matter banner flown over a football match here tonight
Originally posted by DontTellEm Wasn't funny the first time, certainly not the fifth. Dummy
Let's say you've been a bad girl. Let's say, hypothetically, you've been a naughty girl even. Ok, and if you were a naughty girl, you would be my dirty little slut right? Then hypothetically speaking, you would be my little cumslut. Now, let's say you're also daddy's girl.
Now that we have established that you are both a bad girl and daddy's girl, I believe you'd agree with me when I say that you deserve a spanking. Am I not correct? A bad girl deserves a spanking, and as I am daddy, you are my girl, so I am the one who must provide punishment.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-05-19 at 9:49 PM UTC in A Wariat TaleEverything was set in motion for Maciej Wieslaw Lata. Today was the day, and he could not be more excited. His plan had felt so precarious before. So risky. He'd spent many late nights wondering how this would all turn out, and hoping his anxiety would not get the best of him when the time finally came. "Will she like me?" "Will I like her?" "Am I going to get arrested?"
The drive seemed endless. "Mbye is should turn bacik," he thought. "wht am I even doinjg? I need to finish my horse picture. What if I get caug ht? Pedophlils are not treated well in American prisons. It's unfare."
Maciej pulled over into an ALDI and checked his phone.
JENNY: OMG you would do that??? I love pepperoni.
"Right, pizza," Maciej said. He had almost forgotten the pizza.
.
.
.
The cashier smiled as she scanned Maciej's items. "Aww, how old are they?" She asked.
"Wha t?"
"How old are your kids?" The woman repeated, shaking the colorful package on the counter.
"Oh uh,, I dont have anyt. Kid s like bubbles right ?"
"Well mine did when they were younger, but now they're all grown up and doing their own thing. I hardly even see them anymore."
"That's how it is," the lady behind him said. "They get older and all they want to do is leave the house."
"Oh yeah, definitely. I haven't seen my kids since Christmas."
"Well my youngest still lives with me so her I still see everyday, but my two sons? Nah." The woman shook her head. "I'm lucky if they even call."
The cashier laughed, "How it goes, right? They gotta leave the nest someday."
Maciej flashed a bright red.
"SHUT TUPT HSUPT HUP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! Stfupid fucking WOMEN! Stufklfucking HERE! JUST TaKE IT!" He shouted, tossing a ten dollar bill onto the counter before stomping towards the door. Muffled screams could be heard from inside as Maciej slammed the door of his car and pulled off onto the road.
"Sir, don't you want your change?" The cashier asked.
.
.
.
It was noon by the time Maciej decided to enter the house. White shutters, beige trim, a bike in the yard. There was no mistaking it. A family lived here. He'd spent a good two hours parked across the street, just in case, and he was sure that nobody was home. At least, not any adults.
"Her e goe n nothing, he said.
Knock knock.
Knock knock.
"Come in!" A sweet voice said from behind the door. "I'm just getting ready!"
Maciej entered the house. "It's ok ay. I brought pizza like you wante. this kictchen is very nice by the wayy. Kif your dad wants some n ew art t ell hi m to call me."
"Alright," the girl said. "What kind of pizza did you bring? Did you bring the soda?"
"Damn," Maciej thought. "i fo rgot the sopda."
A door opened up across the room, and a suited man entered. "Hey," the man said. "Why don't you take a seat right there?"
Maciej looked around frantically. Where was the girl?
"It's alright," the man said. "Just take a seat."
Maciej sat down.
"Can you tell me why you're here?"
"i waasjh juust devilring a pizza. it's peprini".
"Uh-huh, and can you tell me why you sent this to a twelve year old girl? It says, 'I want to fuck your brains out, Jenny. I want to fuck your brains out so bad.' Now tell me Maciej, why would you say that to a twelve year old girl?"
"Thyaat wasnt me. "
"Well it certainly appears to be you. Now tell me Maciej, did you bring any condoms today?"
"No," Maciej said.
"Alright, well there is one more thing you need to know. I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC, and we are doing a story on internet predators. If you have anything else you would like to say, we would love to hear it, but if not you are obviously free to leave the building," Chris Hansen said.
"Ar e you wokrning for rRaphael Lucioano?" He asked.
"I don't know who that is," Chris Hansen said. "But the only people I'm working for is NBC."
"Oka y," Maciej said. "There a re cops outsiude theqn?"
"There are police outside, yes," Hansen said.
Maciej sighed and looked out the window. "Are a ny of themnj wome en?"The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-25 at 4:37 AM UTC in 🍬🍬Candy~Land🍬🍬I just really can't be fucked to troll seriously anymore after we broke futureman. I wish he had held out.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-06-21 at 4:16 AM UTC in what's the last thing you bought?
Originally posted by Firekrochfatty I believe that all animal's fear effects the meat when you take it into you, including cows and pigs. Many reptiles to my knowledge give off a protective odor that detours predators, and that might affect the taste, but it's still edible. I would say to wash the meat thoroughly also to neutralize any strange aftertaste from glands.
Surprise is the best way to kill anything you eat I believe. I have reasons for this that date back to 1793, France. I'll discuss this later if you like, after work today maybe.
As far as viper, make sure it didn't bite itself, or something bit them, then it's at least safe. I would cut 2" past the head if you are concerned about taste affected by fear, then leave the head and "neck" as an offering of thanks, to the powers that be, "Misotra Betsaka", or in your neck of the woods "Miigwech" and the amazing critters around you. Freeze the meat immediately! That DOES affect the flavor, kinda like Halibut, if you know what I mean, or cook it right then. You know not over-cook it, and use Southwestern, or Mexican spices… If you're doing soups, Asian spices hands down.
Gator….. someone's always cooking gator and crawfish, and they are excellent at it, so I've never cooked either one, but enjoyed the spoils. Best Crawfish (Mudbug) I've ever had is at "The Harbor" in Metairie just off of Causeway Blvd. That dude knows his shit! and they are huge. A real Cajun is getting harder to find, but they are truly the masters of gator. Creole is just as amazing, but different.
Smoked Boudin… best is west of Lafayette, on one of the exits going west, to the right, and up about a 1/2 mile, left hand side, in a little place that looks more like a fishing bait place, lol. I'll be re-finding that on the way back to pick up my car, still stranded in Nola, because of an oil sending unit.
Also, don't eat turtle soup in the French Quarter on Bourbon St. It blows unless it's a great restaurant like Galatoire's or Arnauds. Even they don't put enough chunks in, but damn, flavor is amazing. https://www.galatoires.com/menus/dining-room.
Anything from Brennan's or Commander's Palace is amazing!… (local trick) go at lunch. $20.00 a plate vs $100.00 a plate at dinner. A blazer is required, but they will actually furnish you one while you're there, with your shorts, lol. At Brennan's, blackened Redfish, In-fucking-credible, and for dessert, Banana's Foster… didn't think I'd like it, but I was so wrong. It's fucking amazing. They Invented it, and are in the Webster's dictionary for it.
What are your 1793 France reasons for killing something by surprise? I've heard the same thing though honestly. It makes sense evolutionarily speaking. If you release a bad tasting chemical before you are about to be killed, animals will be more likely to avoid eating you.
Unfortunately (fortunately?) there aren't really any snakes here. I've seen maybe 2 or 3 in my entire life in this state. Have seen an 8ft water moccasin in FL. I bet that would make a great meal.
I'm saving these restaurant names for my list of places to go. I don't know if I'll ever be in Louisiana again but definitely checking New Orleans if I can.
How do you have all these experiences. Are you literally a viking?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-25 at 3:05 AM UTC in Trump on testing for the Coronavirus
Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood he was clearly joking
god you people are fucking retarded
“The media likes to say we have the most cases. But we do, by far, the most testing. If we did very little testing, we wouldn’t have the most cases. So, in a way, by doing all of this testing, we make ourselves look bad.” (May 6)
“We’re going to have more cases because we do more testing. Otherwise, you don’t know if you have a case.” (May 6)
“We have the ultimate testing. We have the best tests in the world. And we gave more than anybody else. But… I have always said testing is somewhat overrated.” (May 7)
“I feel about vaccines like I feel about tests. This is going to go away without a vaccine... Eventually, it’s going to go away. The question is, will we need a vaccine? At some point, it’s going to probably go away by itself.” (May 8)
“If we stop testing right now, we'd have very few cases, if any.” (June 15)
“I personally think testing is overrated, even though I created the greatest testing machine in history. I’ve created the greatest testing machine in history. And I think testing is overrated… In many ways, it makes us look bad.” (June 18)
“You know, testing is a double-edged sword. We’ve tested now 25 million people. It’s probably 20 million people more than anybody else… Here’s the bad part. When you do testing to that extent… you’re going to find more cases. So I said to my people, ‘Slow the testing down, please.’” (June 20)The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-24 at 6:33 PM UTC in Trump on testing for the Coronavirus
Originally posted by Number13 Yeah I thought it was that low, and like I said that low for the people that actually got infected which is also a minority, like 1% itself, so 1% of 1%.
1% is a lot.
It's the leading cause of death in the US right now. Above car accidents, above cancer, above heart disease.
The flu never got that bad. And we're not even in the second wave yet, which is historically always the worst. I think something like 70% of people during the 1918 H1N1 epidemic died during that second wave.
I know someone who died form it. This shit is serious.
And even healthy people die anyway. This is why social distancing is important. It's not supposed to prevent you from ever getting it. It's supposed to reduce viral load and slow the spread so hospitals don't crumble under the pressure. People were sleeping on the floors in NY hospitals. If you think that shit is okay, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you.
This has already killed 4x more people than the flu did at it's highest. More like 6x if you look at the average.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-15 at 2:16 PM UTC in Random image thread
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2020-06-24 at 11:20 PM UTC in 🍬🍬Candy~Land🍬🍬The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-06-24 at 5:33 AM UTC in People who don't use an avatar have absolutely no personalityNah just the wind i thinkThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-06-24 at 5:28 AM UTC in Causasian History X : The Coming Niggerwash of White Western Civilization.
Originally posted by aldra I honestly don't think those kids really understand the signs they're holding, and it makes me want to step on their mother's neck
Probably photoshopped? Or staged.
https://mobile.twitter.com/hashtag/Indivisible?src=hash
This is the only place i can link it to. From 2017.
I mean, those CANNOT be fucking real.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-24 at 3:57 AM UTC in Super NIS Minecraft Server 2 TurboAnyway some updates:
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2020-06-23 at 6 PM UTC in BummyMofo sketched my online internet long distance Chinese girlfriendGot rid of that ridiculous mustache for you. I think it's more accurate now.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-23 at 11:23 PM UTC in A Wariat TaleThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
