2020-01-24 at 2:07 AM UTC
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Who wants my 1000th thank?
i may be a 30 year old tweaker but at least i wash my hands 10 times a day
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Originally posted by Fox
Lol this autistic moron has spent 10 pages getting unironically trolled by a barely literate slant
^ This kid is really slow on the uptake.
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2020-01-23 at 10:29 PM UTC
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Random image thread
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Originally posted by CandyRein
Workplace vending machine delicacy ..Tropical Fruit Starburst
💖
Only niggers waste their money on vending machines.
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So I have an old lady. I call her the warden. I was working overnights at a gas station alone. I used youtube to MP3 websites to get stuff to listen to with one earbud in. I listened to a lot of stand up which I think contributed to why I don't think so right in normal situations. I was telling a co worker, dealing a crazy ass bitch and telling him there's reasons to hit a woman I got from Bill Burr. I told him he shouldn't do it but there are reasons to hit a woman.
So I got a joke from Doug Stanhope and wanted to tell the Mrs. "Hey babe. You wanna hear a joke?" She's down and I say, "So I told my old lady I wanted to fuck her between the tits. She says, 'How are you going to make it feel good for me?' "Right before I cum I'm going to stop punching you in the face."
Holy fucking shit. The flood gates were down. I'm being yelled at about it's never funny to joke about women being abused. Which is funny because I can tell say all the racist jokes I want and she laughs. She draws the line when it's something that can affect her. She's been beat up by a bunch of guys she was with that use to gorilla fuck her. Now it's my turn.
So I tell my joke, getting yelled at and I'm a fucking genius so I try to explain it. "It's funny in how offensive it is." I got no where with that logic. She goes to bed pissed and we're better than the next day.
A week later I heard another joke. What's the worst part about blowing Willie Nelson? Finding out it wasn't Willie Nelson. Implying you just blew some dirty, old street rat.
So I ask the warden, a week later, "Hey Babe... You wanna hear a joke?" She visibly rolls her eyes and sarcastically says, 'Sure.' She is already not happy but fuck it. I'm doing it. "What's the worst part about blowing Willie Nelson?" She's fucking still pissed and sarcastically, kinda pissed off responds, 'I don't know. You stopped punching him in the face?' I pause for a second before busting up laughing. The idea of blowing somebody while punching them was too funny. She hated that she made that joke way too funny and I've never let that story go.
I can't tell that story though. No one can relate apparently. It comes out the gate so hard people don't listen and just want it to stop. Typical Stanhope. One time last year I was camping with my dad and I figured, this is one of my funniest stories and surely he can relate. We're drinking, cooking burgers over a camp fire. In the middle of the woods. What better time to tell this story? I start off with Stanhopes joke and how I told it to the Mrs and I got immediately stopped. "I would never say anything like that to your mother! Good god!"
I think he's just turning into a pussy in his old age. And he pees sitting down.
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Awww are your panties in a bunch? Pull up your big girl panties and quit whining ya damn snowflake.
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2020-01-22 at 10:59 PM UTC
in
Who wants my 1000th thank?
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She's prettier than any girl i've seen lately
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Originally posted by Speedy Parker
That will cost you about $12k total to start up. You gotta sell a lot of dogs to make $12k.
Not if you charge $12,000 a hotdog.
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2020-01-22 at 4:04 PM UTC
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Goat Simulator
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Originally posted by Speedy Parker
You are totally brainwashed. What he is saying is they sensationalize snowstorms and create fear to increase viewer numbers and ad revenue. The human race has survived snowstorms for hundreds of thousands of years without the Weather Channel to make us afraid of severe weather.
Or maybe y'all old hats are being overdramatic and raging over the weather channel coverage of the weather? Think that's a slight possibility?
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If you laid out all the blood vessels in your body end to end you would die
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Originally posted by AngryIVer
What makes you think they are from NiS?
RaEtARD ALERT
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Originally posted by Erekshun
I don't need a breaking news story HERE for that.
So nobody where you live might be traveling to areas of the storm? There’s another storm coming, better go to your safe place so you don’t get angry.....snowflake.
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Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson
US doesn't fight it's wars independently…It always needs help. In it's history its only won *1* war by itself…and that was the Mexican American war…fucking lol.
God only knows where you get fighting wars from a post replying to someone that they’re not from the US when they speak in the terms of “we”. The OT is about America doing exercises that might jam GPS systems in the US, it has not one thing to fighting wars. Try to keep up. I swear Alzheimer’s is setting in.
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My hours at work changed so now I work 9-4 instead of 2-8. We close at 2 so I can just crank the fuck out of the music and chill out and work alone for a few hours at my own pace if I wanna drink a few ales or smoke a bowl outside I can. Its Goodman. I love it.
Thanks?
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Originally posted by Sudo
hey aren't you docile, brown, meek mannered and unable to find marijuana locally? What a swell thing you have going on
Shut the fuck up tryhard pussyfaggot.
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Fucks sake I am not spending another good 3 quarters of the year unemployed, fuck-that! I need a car so I can get to the jobs I want. There's nothing in this shit town but low paid brain dead Orwellian factory jobs, not for me.
***sigh***
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