Involve your parents in your recovery. You can't trust yourself with drugs. Sit them down, talk to them about your situation, they'll freak but calm them down, literally ask them to help you taper and get your shit together. It's time to be open and honest with them and get their help.
Tell them you're done being a loser. Show them you are willing to get your shit together by actively hunting for a job, any job, and holding it down.
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Originally posted by -SpectraL
The original reason Lanny got pissed off and banned infinityshock was his constant use of sexual innuendo throughout all the threads and all the forums, and yet Lanny himself continually posts sexually explicit references to fucking people's mothers and fathers throughout the forums. Exactly what infinityshock did. But Lanny isn't permanently banned. No regular Totse user should ever be permanently "banned" (and I use the term loosely). We can always work things out somehow. Lanny is just being obstinate and unreasonable, as usual. That's my gripe with him. His resolute stubbornness and inability to bend. Just like zok, and even Jeff Hunter himself, to some extent. This kind of scene has no place for that kind of stunted, backwards, unproductive attitude. And that's why I'm really here.
No it was the spam and off topic bullshit you faggot. His shit would get removed, he would get warned, he did it again and got banned.
Don't post off topic and you can do whatever you want. I don't think I've ever been banned on any of my accounts aside from Taboo because I don't break the incredibly simple rules, despite antagonizing virtually everyone with nonstop invective.
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Originally posted by too.dark.to.see
I believe transgender is a thing.
Like I believe it is possible to have hormones in your body of a non standard form to then influence the formation of your innate personality traits when your brain is developing or maturing.
However to be transgender is a bit off. You will be shunned in society. Why would anyone want to impose that upon themselves?
I don't believe we are simple animals where our brains are ruled by the smell of shit and sleep wake cycles. Therefore the ability to have a sense of self should override any desire to match a body with feelings of gender. That is all so primitive.
High school kids learn calculus.
That's society being shitty and needing to fix their shit. Society even shunned Galileo for discovering the kaleidoscope.
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The thing with depression is sploo... Think about your mind like "mental real estate".
When you have little to nothing going on, your life becomes focused on nothing.
You might have one bad conversation and it fucking kills you because it's the last time you spoke to a human being and it was the first time in 2 days or whatever. When it is 1/200 conversations you had that week, it doesn't matter.
If you have a job, a relationship, maybe studies, a hobby. Then one of those things going wrong isn't the end of the world. Whereas if you have little going on, then having a bad turn in one thing doesn't seem devastating and world ending, because your world is bigger than that. You have other shit to occupy your mental real estate. Otherwise all you have is petty bullshit and your mind has only one boring ass thing to be happy about, mull and obsess over, and then be fucking devastated by when it goes away.
The world ends with you. It's your job to make your world bigger and capable of bearing more. Understand what's going on with your mind, recognize it when it starts zooming in on some stupid shit, and do something else. Try to go for a walk.
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As for social anxiety, that's another matter of crash coursig yourself. Bars are useful for this. People are drunk and don't give a fuck if you're nice. They will chalk it up to you being drunk. Don't be a dickhead, when in doubt shut your mouth and smile at someone. Don't approach touchy subjects. Talk about normie shit. Even if you don't know, you can turn it into a question and get them to tell you about it. People love telling you about themselves and shit they know about. Questions are great. Don't ask dumb ones, stick to normie and nice shit. Like I said, this is just a matter of crash coursing it. You have to get used to being in social situations. There's no shortcut. But there are good ways to do it.
Also, start weaning yourself off your technology. Make yourself like 2 hours a day to dick around on the internet until you have other shit going on.
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Yo I super relate on the ickyness thing. Serious Pro tip: buy nitrile, latex or vinyl gloves. They are cheap as fuck and it is EASY. I am sort of a germaphobe myself, I use gloves while attending to my cats' litter, wiping up anything dirty, dusty, clumps of hair on the bathroom floor etc. Literally buy yourself a surgical mask if it makes you feel better about fumes and scents etc. It's mostly psychological but it helps if I have to clean up something worse, like my asshole cat will shit out of his box sometimes. Wear a set of dirty clothes from your hamper while cleaning if it makes you feel better about getting down on your knees and elbows etc.
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Try to make every day a +1 day. Get SOMETHING done every day. Cleaning your room. Making your bed. Dusting your desk. Clearing out the dishes in your sink. Laundry. It could be smaller even. Try to create as little mess as possible and get your house in order little by little.
Try to get your personal hygiene in order. Write yourself a rough schedule like this on a piece of paper for a week. Literally allocate time to getting your basic shit together like an SRPG. Start building a routine. Wake up at a set time, take a shower every morning, brush your teeth every day, floss, keep adding these as +1s to your routine.
Stop wearing fuck around clothes every morning, change into real clothes every day, put on real pants.
Just start slowly getting your shit together. Stop thinking of all that bullshit about what your life was supposed to be in your head. Focus forward. Where are you? What can you do? It's hard but just Do a little bit positively every day.
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