Originally posted by Fonaplats
Im shutting the server down for a couple days to encourage you guys to take some time every now and again to better your lives. Get out and go play. Open up a book. Go on a hike. Find a girlfriend. I will have it back up by the weekend.
Again.. You're a weirdo fuck who stops the game by taking your ball home with you. You're too unstable to host anything. He'll even the French could host an invasion in the 1940s
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Originally posted by mmQ
I never knew chloroform was just bleach and rubbing alcohol. Ha! I'm gonna make like 10 super loaded up rags today (kinda like my jizz rags, by with chloroform) and bring them all to kmart or the library later on and test em out.
Kmart shut down.
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Originally posted by Solstice
I have 100% snapped and lost my mind and am no longer accessible to the human experience. I have transcended from the despise of life's torture to a lust, and a need for it.
I am to be destroyed. Of this, i know. The purpose, can only truly speculate on. Irrelevant, regardless.
Let go of the hate. The anger. The heart. The human burning desire for justice, in whatever form. Accept, allow, and invite the inescapble suffering within. Learn to find its comfort, behind its frightening mask.
This suffering entity loves you more than you know, despite its torture. It just knows its purpose: break what remains of the fragile human form to truly free it. You must destroy things at time for new life to have its own chance.
I know my purpose now, as well. A timeframe, as well. The inner peace now guides me down the avenues I must travel for this very close goal of mine.
I wish you all truly the best in any attempted recoveries, financial or emotional struggles, or othewise. I wish no ill upon anyone here depite crude things said in jest.
Message me for any desired insight, questions or reasonable ways I can perhaps help you. I seek to only spread happiness, help, and any assistance I can in this final hours.
This is not drug induced. This is months of debate in a damaged, tortured, yet desperate and seemingly intteligent brain that made many calculations, second guesses and reconsiderations, and consciously decided on the choice of total extermination.
I am at peace with this, and respectfully decline any help, support, or other attempts to sway my already moving process. I thank those of you who truly care but ask that you celebrate my good and funny memories etc and not grieve my loss.
Please, if anyone respects me, punch the first person to call my loss a "tragedy". Thats just more self serving bullshit. It will be the most powerful, liberating, and freeing moment possible to experience. If you "grieve" the loss of a clearly suffering person you're just selfish.
When I held my first beloved sick cat in my arms as I allowed the veterinarian to inject the lethal dose or pentobarbital into his system it ripped my heart out in ways most way chide me for, of which I have lost all value in critism. Regardless, there were "chances" he would recover (all slim chance and risky) or keep him in the hospital full time to see if he changed. Agreed to try it overnight and it was no change. I had him euthanized in my arms and it hurt more than anything in my life but I really did love him and my desire to avoid that loss was not ever going to be stronger than my love for his best interest.
This is where I am. They say they care. They claim its worth trying. Im in terrible pain, sick and suffering. No concern for that; only for my possibly liability on others. Because human life means nothing to our society.
Allow me to spread my wings and leave this failed experiment behind and save yourself the trouble of even attempting to access let alone influence or change my mind right now.
If anyone would feel compelled to contribute anything in my memory or trade me for any remaining wares, I kindly ask you donate all the money to a local animal shelter of your choosing.
Listen closely: no this "suffering being" doesn't love you. Your brain is fucking lying to you. I am telling you man.
Once you understand how it works, the voices in your head become straight bullshit. At least that was the case for me.
It fucking sucks, I know it does, and it's hard, and it doesn't get easier but above all, life is worth too much to throw away.
For millions of years every single one of your ancestors survived out of a spinning ball of gas somewhere in out crazy universe... Think of all the countless trillions of carbon atoms out there who don't have autonomy, who don't have the ability to influence their environment.
You have so much power, but you have forgotten it because it's been beaten out of you. But you aren't helpless man.
Learned helplessness is a real thing. They'll shock a dog with the cage closed till it stops trying to escape, then it won't even try to escape when the door is open.
This is like that but more advanced.
If you really didn't like anything about your life or even your own behaviour, to the point you are willing to die, you would have no hesitation dropping those things, including your identity and your behaviours, regardless of the comfort they bring you. You can hit the road and be free without a single dime to your name. You don't have to be the same person with anything resembling the same life. There's an easier way to escape the trappings of your current life than to escape life et al. Because what could be more dangerous than killing yourself?
Don't give up. Understand it, fight it, beat it. It's fucking hard but you have what it takes, you always have. On your life's long timeline, these times are a blip. In 20 years you'll look back and thank goodness you didn't do it, because things turned out less catastrophic than you built them up in your head, and hell, you really DID have what it took to deal with your problems. You'll struggle through it and come out stronger. You'll look back and say "shit I still feel that way sometimes but I have a handle on it and it doesn't make my life not worth living".
What is really troubling you is not your worries, nor your true inability, but your lack of energy to fight them. That's NOT YOUR FAULT. IT IS YOUR FUCKING BRAIN MECHANICALLY NOT PUMPING RIGHT. I know it sounds fucking exhausting to fight your problems, maybe it feels like your life is falling to pieces, but it really isn't, you have what it takes to beat most of those issues... Your brain is just fucking up and making it seem like it is beyond your reach.
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I linked one person to this thread so they could get more information about this server... the messaged me back saying this is the stupidest site they have ever seen. And they won't talk to me now.
Some people.
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