I went to ah, Chili's the other day and the bartender asked me that when I got there I'm like , 2 , and she says, how many socks do you want to be wearing and I said, well.. 2, still, ya know? And she goes what if I remove them and I 'm like .. what if you didn't? Then she says but what if I did and I said YEAH WHAT IF YOU DIDNT and she goes and pours me my drink and comes back and winks at me and says hey about those socks you still got em? and I say wtf are you talking about lady and then slammed my drink and didn't pay and threw my socks at her and backflipped out of the building into the parking lot and onto the street and caused a traffic accident and the lady comes back out and she's like hey you forgot your sock and I said no there's yours now and we had some quick street car accident tragedy sex and I went home and called the fona fone but nobody answered so that's why I'm telling you guys I just had to get it off my chesticle.
Thanks
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Originally posted by RestStop
There is some invisable force keeping me in bed when I'm trying to get up. Like a giant 4 foot hand it feels like. Am I fucked and should join Malice in a suicide pact? SRS about the hand thing though.
That's called being sober.
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Tim Hortons is a shitty coffee and donut shop with no flavoured coffee and crusty, sickly sweet pastries and sandwiches that give you cancer. No matter where you are in Canada you're never more than 15 feet away from a "Timmys" as most Canucks affectionately call them. A few years ago they were bought out by Burger King who proceeded to move their headquarters to Canada to integrate. It's literally named after a shitty, third rate hockey player who started a franchise, died and his widowed wife sold them for booze money then went back to court to try to get ownership when they became profitable. Their overhead is basically zilch because their coffee is just cigarette butts and boiling hot tap water.
And they blocked this site. Adorable
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Pay no mind. This is finny sometimes called Jill. He rages all the time but he’s harmless. He usually likes to talk about plundering assholes. Literally nothing he says to you should matter to you because he just follows Bill Krozby around like his own peanut gallery and asks for nudes from all the guys. I think he thinks it’s a great troll or something.
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Originally posted by RestStop
I wanna be adored like Bill Krozby.
RestStop, you couldn't rape a girl if you wanted to. No woman in their right mind would deny your advances, nor would they want to. You are a GOD among men. A literal sex beast.
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The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
