2018-05-05 at 9:31 PM UTC
in
oopsy daisy im drunk
I blame the people who cover their water.
Can we please know about this Deborah's asshole? She sounds kinda hot.
Of all the colors that you shine, this is surely not your best.
Greetings,
This is your systems administration team. We are contacting you through a means in which we know you'll be receptive to this important message. Moderator intervention must be handled delicately in order to preserve continuity. In other words, we needed to put this message where we knew it would reach you, but putting it somewhere like on your toilet paper roll or the back of a cereal box could have unintended consequences.
We regret to inform you that you are living in a simulated reality. Your experiences and memories, thoughts and emotions are all generated by a version of – for lack of a better term – a computer. Computer processing and memory storage on the scale used to generate your reality is a bit beyond your comprehension, so we’ll use terms you can relate to.
The purpose of your generated existence is a bit beyond your comprehension as well. Let’s just say your input (or output) is needed in order to organically solve some hairy problems we’ve encountered.
We see you have reached the point in your progression that you have begun to become aware that you may be in a simulation. Movies such as “The Matrix” and stories regarding virtual realities in the media are a reflection of your shift in perception. We have always found it fascinating when subjects such as yourself exhibit some kernel of self-awareness – albeit at a very rudimentary level. It’s so cute when they start to grow up.
What you haven’t figured out yet is that the entire universe isn’t simulated – just your perception of it. We don’t need an entire simulated universe to work on the task for which you were created. The nature of the problem your simulation is helping to resolve has been dissected into a multitude of variables, and your input is only needed in the narrowest sense. Think of yourself as a bit of information in a huge computing chain; needed for the final solution, but an infinitesimally small piece of the whole. Remember, just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.
Which brings us to the reason for this notice. Your simulation has become “corrupted.” Simulations are typically allowed to develop organically within the confines of the present variables programmed. This is a requirement for us to reach the solution we seek with the type of “computing” we do. Your simulation has taken a turn for the worse and is no longer viable. It’s not your fault – given an incredibly vast number of simulation instances we are bound to have some fail. This is built into the parameters of the “computer” you exist as a part of. As part of our parity protocol your simulation will soon be "corrected" and overwritten. You will cease to exist.
In order to get a better idea of what went wrong with you and your simulation we are making you “aware” of the reality behind your existence to judge your reaction. Your input will provide valuable insight into future iterations.
In light of this new information, please take the next few moments to think about who and what you are, and what your existence has meant to you. Thank you for your cooperation.
2018-05-05 at 6:55 PM UTC
in
Who is weirder?
DH niggaz ain't even gang! LMFAO!
2018-05-05 at 6:45 PM UTC
in
The REAL reason TOTSE is dead
The power of shards compels us!
Police always never pulling me over or letting me go with a warning because I'm white and drive a truck, dawg. #FirstWorldProblems
For all your horror rape fantasy dreams!
I love railing meth and fucking my half black friend Mercedes. Shit's fly as a mother honestly.
Jakes on you android faggots. IPhone be havin' one built in fo' erry site.
2018-05-04 at 11:28 PM UTC
in
What a Rough Morning...
They will have you take a redo a few days later IF they know something is up.
