2020-04-03 at 12:16 PM UTC
in
I'm drinking wine
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
Red or white? I like both but red has the edge as I have hear far more of it and usually homemade. I know a guy...makes marvelous red wine and I get it for free.
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
Getting banned again in a chat room on a gore forum. Apparently calling a person a pedo is a bannable offence. Yet you can chat and post about pedos. I don't get it.
2020-04-03 at 12:08 PM UTC
in
DH please answer me this
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
sherri, you still fuckin him? tell the truth
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
keep smoking whatever are smoking...ya might just get fucked in the ass by a cactus one day
2020-04-03 at 12:05 PM UTC
in
who is octavian?
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
legend has it he has killed more pedophiles than any one else in history. his style of kill is always different but he keeps their head mounted in his basement. the rest of each one of them nobody knows. when someone bumps into him...some have known to become frozen to death...because of the FEAR. he lurks in the shadows...so watch where you walk. He might just getcha...
2020-03-24 at 12:35 AM UTC
in
what u having for supper?
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
Spicy Hungarian "Salami" in between stuff with Mustard cream to wash down with
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
welcome back Oct!
as for me? well got into morning 11 great but by the end of the night? well i was royally fucked up at a strip club about an hour away from home and still don't know how i got there or many details before, in between, and after. spent a ridiculous amount of money...all on booze mainly on myself but i bought some rounds for people i never met before in my life but i was like whatever its just money
than got a small bootle to chug down before i passed out...its been like 10 hrs since i had a drink
so disappointed in myself...i was doing so well and feeling great. as for why i did what i did? got a some family news that was disappointing to hear, i kinda blamed myself for it...had a couple or so beers...and i don't remember much else. all i know i was having fun..i was downtown...way out in the east end than totally opposite end by the end of the night. someone was driving me all over but i don't have a clue who or how many...or maybe i was cabbing it. its a blur still
i fucked up badly..and now 10 hrs later i wanna get a 60 pounder and tell the world to fuck off for good. than wake up, rinse, and repeat to this misery is over. I'M NOT READY AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL BE. WORTHLESS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FOREVER.
hope y'all are doing great though
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
"Better than I felt in years..." I always heard this by countless people 50% or better were proven to be liars but those who told the truth I am beginning to get it...understand. Over 10 days without a single shot/drink...I don't know the exact date but its been YEARS now that I ever been this sober. I really feel like things and I am changing for the better...the rage, all the bullshit in the past I clung to or anger me is all but gone. The shit that I blamed myself over or I allowed others to take the blame. I am sorry but really not I chose to and had to learn the hard way. No regrets...well maybe not DWELL on that shit as much. I think there are a few things I could and should have done or said better to one or some. Its been a very revealing personal journey...the last lil while NOT just the last 10 plus days. I really wish this continues. The next step is my dependence in every way...its gonna be long and hard since I was always an entitled piece of shit with several chips on my shoulder but if I can be sober through this..anything is really possible..right? I hope so. I know hope isn't the best word but that some shit I have to work through to. Thing is I am actually getting there and somewhere and not in a rut anymore. I just gotta keep that focus. Not lose it...as I have countless times over the years.
Ok probably rambling now but fuck people if I can get to this glimmer of hope and contentment after nearly 30 years of being an pill popper(anything that I could find) Dabbled in every conceivable drug, and more importantly drunk...anything is possible I really am finding to be true. Real shit and Talk over. I'll be back as Arnie would say....the less though means real life is and will always be more important. If I slip...well I will have 10k posts by 2021. Simple as that. Love ya peeps.
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
Yeah I gotta get into something like that soon. Slept over 12 hours and only got up once...thats highly unusual for me. I mean it felt great and all beyond well rested but I can't get into that sleep is the answer either. A few days a week is cool but can't be an every day thing. Other than that feeling better in ways that hard to describe. Usually a very edgy fuckstain...always been that way but every day feeling less and less that. I can actually listen to people without switching them off midstream...and its easy for me to shut people off but now finding I want to hear what the fuck they are saying.
Not bad in just a week. Yeah but gonna have to find things that will help on this long journey. I can't drop the ball again...I seriously know the other side of me will never try this again. That other side has to be extinguished for good.
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
Glad you feel good ^
Over 6 days now. Officially the longest I've gone without the alcohol in Idk exactly but definitely over a year. No raging. Not feeling much as I am whenever sober but I sometimes would fake a smile or some shit like that to feign interest in whatever was going on. Not much going on with the feels. Not really more active either...I get out a few hrs a day but thats about it. I don't FEEL like getting out more than that. I sleep a couple hours more a day or night...sometimes nap during the day. Not really enthuased about much. My online time is a lil up too. Ugh I guess its been worth it so far. Maybe I need to just keep on trucking and hopefully I feel an abundance of emotion soon. Unless I'm a robot and don't even know it.
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
I rather have or be a scythe
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
Rough start of the week really edgy but feeling better every day now
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
Enjoying my online posting time and when not doing that enjoying the warmer weather outside. Its gonna be a warm week for what still is winter.
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
Maybe you got a disease Casper! Look up some rare ones that have your symptoms...especially ones that have emotional and physical like symptoms and shit. Watch the show HOUSE! from beginning to end...you may have one of them!!
Do surgery on yourself as well!!! you might find the problem ALL ON YOUR OWN.
AS FOR ME I'VE Been alcohol free for 4 days 12hrs! this is the longest I've gone without in almost a year..if I make it to tomorrow night about 8-9 p.m. I will
