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Posts That Were Thanked by Ensign Galm
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2018-06-19 at 3:04 PM UTC in Dhers...Remember The Fun Times, Too Bad NISersHi Guys. Friendly note from the staff: The official demonymic form of "Niggas In Space" is "space nigga" rather than NiSer. The distinction has become important after a number of drawn out legal battles with the National Institute of Science which started after we started beating them out in search results for some kinds of drug synthesis.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-06-19 at 7:39 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Sploo Needs Attention
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2018-06-19 at 2:48 AM UTC in ATTN: any woman on this website. I will DEBATE you.I will cut off your dick and eat it for dessert while you watch.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-06-19 at 2:46 AM UTC in ATTN: any woman on this website. I will DEBATE you.stfu faggotThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-06-18 at 10:06 PM UTC in Let's donate money to get Enter a Sex doll!I think it would be a befitting gesture to perma seal all orifices closed and include a recording of a female voice rejecting him when ever he tried to touch “her”.....The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-06-18 at 4:10 PM UTC in How many vehicular accidents have you been involved in?Oh yeah there was the other time my buddy rolled the stolen car we were in and I cut a huge gash in my elbow from busting the window open to get out so we could run away before the cops showed up but I had a bunch of identify shit in the car anyway since we had been using it for a few weeks and I end up getting busted later and charged with a host of crimes including the car.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-06-18 at 2:04 PM UTC in what did your last text message say?They are cutting off my phoneThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-06-17 at 7:30 PM UTC in Ban cooking emissionsWho else is sick and tired of getting sick and tired from all of these carnivores lighting fires up in their charcoalers and making the whole neighborhood stink like cooking meat and burning wood/charcoal.
I don't go and smoke my hookah in their backyard and blow my shisha in their face, so why should i have to inhale their second hand BBQ?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-06-17 at 5:03 PM UTC in are you friends with your neighbors?the guy across the hall from me despises me i'm pretty sure, he always gives me dirty looks. i'm sure he smells my weed all the time and knows it's me since a lot of the time i'm in here listening to electronic music or rap and he passed me once in the hall when i was spun out and looked like shit. there's also a communist couple who listen to communist broadcasts loudly sometimes during the day and it seems like they're inviting someone to argue with them. they basically just look at me like i'm a stupid teenager or something lol. there's also some black dude that always goes out to smoke newports at night who has always been chill but we've never spoken apart from the occasional "whats up." there's also another strange circumstance with another woman on my floor which now has me a little suspicious.
she's been living here at least like 4 years and i see her in the hall maybe once every couple weeks but have only talked to her at all once because she's very quiet. the one time i did talk to her, i was at the laundromat down the street and she asked me if i had talked to the landlords at all because she had some problem with her apartment but she didn't want to ask them to fix it because she doesn't like talking to people.
there's also this weird apartment configuration that i won't attempt to describe but basically the bathroom windows for her bathroom and my bathroom are really close. they're not opposing each other so you can't see anything, but you can hear if the other person is in the shower or something like that. i've heard something that was definitely a male voice loudly yawning or coughing pretty frequently in the bathroom. it's definitely not a female, but i've never seen a male go in or out or with her. i've never seen her with anyone at all actually. i've heard him during day and night, so it seems like he's there a lot and not just like a casual fuckbuddy or boyfriend or something. strange.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-06-17 at 1:19 PM UTC in Is there a site called Niggettes in Space?Lolol...triggered?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-06-17 at 3:53 AM UTC in Are spiders good or evil?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-06-17 at 2:40 AM UTC in Kinks is threatened by the DH competition...Stop PMing me dudeThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-06-17 at 12:22 AM UTC in Kinks is threatened by the DH competition...Because these ladies are prettier and have more personality than she does.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-06-17 at 12:22 AM UTC in Are spiders good or evil?I'm envious of their ability to drink all day and never gain a poundThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-06-16 at 11:25 PM UTC in Are spiders good or evil?Pro: eat bugs
Con: are bugs themselvesThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-06-16 at 5:05 PM UTC in My personal lord and savior
Originally posted by mmQ I don't know why but AA always likes to suggest that your higher power can be a soda can or a doorknob and it doesn't even matter.
because it really doesn't matter. the point of it is not to actually receive some sort of divine intervention but to make the person humble and submissive. those programs only work on certain types of addicts though. namely the dumb ones. everyone i've ever known to be involved in those groups is stupid as fuck.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-06-16 at 10:51 AM UTC in A proclimation of my love for dear fralalaRun while you can, Lala. 😂😬
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2018-06-16 at 8:17 AM UTC in How to fuck a deerHere is how to proceed :
Where to find a dolphin ?
Aquariums and zooz are out of the question : too many witnesses. You are instead advised to try to find a beach where dolphins live. You also need luck :
Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbor of my resident city.
And if the Coast Guard comes by, you're on your own.
Pre-sex assessment of the situation
First, you need to figure out 1. the gender of the dolphin and 2. figure out if the dolphin is aroused.
To do the first, you need to look at their head (males have a fatter, rounder head), or on the dolphin's belly, between opposite the dorsal fin and the tail. The male has two larger slits, and the female has one large slit and two small mammary slits.
Figuring out whenever your prospective mate is aroused is also relatively straightforward. The male will sport a long erection that would make most men jealous ("anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose", we are advised). The dolphin's penis is also prehensile and flexible, and you can wrap it around your arm. It is not mentioned if the dolphin likes to have his penis wrapped around some dink's arm. On the other hand, the female's genitals will become pink and swollen, and she may nuzzle against you.
Also, I still can't believe I am writing about having sex with dolphins. This is what being an Insolitologist is all about, folks.
Q3) What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?
A3) Accept, if possible!
Having sex
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length.
Due to the size of a dolphin's member, the best you can do with a male dolphin is to masturbate him. Missionary position or anal sex are both out of the question. Also, be careful : when those things shoot, they shoot. Remember what your mom told you about trains and get out of the way.
The female dolphin can be either masturbated or fucked, depending on your gender. Roll the dolphin gently to her side, belly towards you, and prop yourself on an elbow to stay face-to-face with her. At this point, my brain is already beginning to rebel against what I'm reading, so I'll let the author do the explaining for me :
Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, they have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.
One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you.
In conclusion, good luck, and if you have a baby with a dolphin, don't forget to tell someone other than the National Enquirer.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-06-15 at 5:51 PM UTC in Slapping other mens asses in the locker roomThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-06-15 at 10:11 AM UTC in Schizo Posters - an overviewThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
