Originally posted by -mal-
I thought you had a bus to catch? I guess I never really comprehended how low the standards of the men of NIS went.
Interesting. Can you describe in detail for me, as a woman who adamantly claims to be a feminist and constantly encourages female empowerment, exactly what you are implying here?
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Originally posted by Krow
that's funny. RIP Charlie Murphy. his style of pan-face humor was original. I can see Eddie uses it a bit, but has his own.
Shelia E from Oakland used to be one of Prince's original (drummers?) I think she got weirded out by the lifestyle and turned religious. She must of been traumatised by some crazy hollywood style of hedonism.
Her father was a well known latin percussionist.
Hope she's doing well in whatever she's doing. RIP Prince. .
I’m happy you liked it, it’s one of my favorite skits in the world 😋
“So he sent his helpers to get us some shorts and stuff to play ball in but they came back in the same stuff they were wearing at the club”
“We’re gonna call this shirts against the blouses i learned not to judge a book by the cover that day.. the kat can ball man”
I coulda been an understudy I’ve memorized that script 😋
I miss Charlie Murphy:/
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Being able to carry purses/handbags, etc. Love them! I have a huge collection of the most cutest styles, patterns, etc. I've always felt so sad for guys who really can't go around carrying their 'stuff' mainly when they have to be somewhere sitting for many hours. I can carry snacks, chapstick, drink, tissues, sunshades, money, books, magazines, notebook, pen, ipod, nailclippers, etc, etc, etc...lol
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Not getting jumped/ shot first during an altercation.
Cannot count the number of times I'd be at a party and something would happen between one of the girls I was with and someone else, and I'd step in and try to be cool dad and tell everyone to stfu youre killing my vibe and then all of a sudden someone is trying to hit me with a shovel.
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Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson
Can go for a night out without a single dollar on your person and return home drunk with a full belly and a selection of eager lovers to choose from.
Came to say this. Lol.
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Anyway someone was asking about the standup stuff. I had a few things written for my Tinder profiles, since the only time ive created a profile, its been to be as stupid as possible.
First and formost- I respect the fuck out of bitches. My grandma always said its better to give than receive (which sounds like some BS to me), so since i like gettin my knob gobbled, i will wear your thighs like a set of knockoff Beats by Dre, and go to town on that snatch like the last half melted pint of Ben and Jerrys on Doomsday.
I am very tall and when i get nervous, i sweat profusely. So when you pick me up, its nbd but you should probably put a towel down on the passengers seat. Take it as a compliment bc if im not glistening and breathing heavily from my mouth, I most likely do not find you sexually desireable, and will hitchhike home as soon as you pay the bill at wherever we happen to be dining.
I dont have any gym pics bc the last time i was in the gym, the flip phones only had like .5 megapixels, and you couldnt really peep my bulge or muscle definition. Lately the healthiest thing i did was switch to light cigarettes. Dr. Oz scared the fuck outta me the other day, talkin some bullshit so I had grandma swoop me up a Wendy's salad. It was alright i guess but honestly I think I might have an allergy to lettuce or etamommy cuz that stuff gave me hella gas pains.
Also- I hope to find a mate that shares my entrepreneurial spirits. My uncle basically got me in on the ground floor of his company that distributes health supplements and motivational posters to increase motivation in addition to vitality/connecticut energy. And if for some reason you want a life of luxury and prosperity- for every person you sign up, you get a $20 Subway card and $15% off your next order. Personally im only a Silver Level associate right now, and with my investments, liquid assets are pretty slim but if you could float me like $1200, I can pay you back plus interest once my disability check and frivolous lawsuit comes to fruitation.
My guiding philosophy is pretty much:
1. Fight Club 2.Dont cry 3.Self improvement 4.Vengeance and/or Justice 5.Chemtrails (?) 6.2nd Commandment activism 7.Samosa- aka Reincarnation 8.Real Titties and/or Tastefully Done Fakies im not a hater 9. NO REGERTS 10.Poverty 11.The laughter of children 12.Ayahuasca/ Ego Death 13.Stretch Waistbands 14.Spoken Word Poetry 15.Honesty 16. Stop Snitchin' 17. Batman But In Real Life 18. Commercials Wit Smelly Lookin cats n Dogs 19.Living in an RV for Spiritual Reasons: Not Only to Smoke Meth 20.Being the Life of the Party at High School Parties in Your Late 20's
Etc.
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