Originally posted by Charles Ex Machina
how about women and synthetic women. how do they taste,
⬆️There was this annoying kid on the bus in first grade who responded with stupid shit like this. His name was Marvin Oney. By third grade nobody would speak to him. By fifth grade 25% if the boys and one of the girls had beat him up.
During the summer vacation between fifth and sixth grade he went to the Y.M.C A. and took a " Jr. karate" class where the awarded him a " Jr. black belt". So I beat him up in the storage room for the school candy drive while he was bragging about it to a group of us.
In 10th grade me and my buddy Gary were after him for running his mouth anout Colleen (Garys' sister and my girlfriend). We had trouble finding him out of sight if school staff and grew impatient.
Gary got his license about 3 months before me and had a car. So we dithed the last period and drove to Marvins' bustop. It was at a corner lot in a middle class suburban neighborhood.
The property owner had placed a rock about four toot around and maybe two and a half foot high to protect his lawn from cars that might cut the corner. At this point I should mention that old Marvin kept taking his karate lessons at the Y.
Under the rock I noticed Marvin had stashed a pair of hardwood nunchucks. Well Gary always wore a big old Bowie knife so while we waited for Marvin, Gary whittled both sides of the nunchucks down to little nubs not more than about 2 inches apiece. He then carefully placed all the shavings aking with the nun-nubs back where Marvin had stashed them.
We moved the car to the opposite corner and smoked a bowl while we waited. When Marvins' bus arrived and he immediately spotted us as we exited the car and began to range walk to intercept him. He made a beeline for the rock and his ninchucks. We were less than 20 feet from him when he reached down, felt wood shavings, and rose to face us holding two nubs of wood chained together.
The look in his eyes was one of sheer panick. Before Gary picked him up, body slammed him into the dirt, pounced on him, and proceeded to trash him while sitting on his chest.
The property owner came tearing out of the front door screaming at a Gary to stop doing "that" in his yard. So Gary complied with his wishes by picking Marvin up, carrying him 20 feet or so onto the road, dropping him in the middle, and finished up his ass whooping.
A few months later. during summer break, Gary and I were out riding our dirt bikes in the trails near the Oney house. While riding, im a wooded lot directly across the street from the Oney house, we discovered Marvins' little brother David in a newly built tree house. It had been built in four tall straight Maple trees and was about 30 feet in the air around 12 foot on a side.
My seat and tank were "quick release" in that they were secured by to clamp/clips on the back of the seatand two really thick stiff rubber "bands. On a lark I pulled up next to one of the trees, ahut the bike down, turned off the fuel cock, disxonnectwd the fuel line,removed the seat and tank, and began to pour fuel arou d the base of all four trees while I told little David ( 2 years younger than us and with a mouth a big as his older brother's) we were going to burn him alive.
He started screaming like a girl and it wasn't two minutes before his brother abd his dad came running across the street abd into the woods. For about thirty seconds there was yelling and threats made back and forth. During this time David slid a rope hanging on the opposite side from the ladder. Marvin was squaring off against me with David running his mouth behind him and his dad was sizing up Gary.
Now it's important to know that, at 16, Gary was 6' 3" tall and could bench over 250 lbs. Marvins' dad was about the same size as Gary but nowhere nears as cut. On the other hand two years later I would only weigh 138lbs at 5' 10" tall when I reported for duty at Ft. Sill Oklahoma and Marvin was about 6 foot 165 to 17o lbs and his little brother was a pip squeak. Marvin also had about a 3 foot long 1" pine dowel rod. I know, pine, what a dumb ass.
Marvins' dad swung on Gary and missed. Gary countered with a right hook that clearly rung "Mr." Oneys' bell. I didn't catch the rest of "Mr." Oeys' beat down as that is when little David went berserk uoon seeing his dad get drilled and foolishly charged with his head down as if to tackke me. I brought my knee into his face as he rushed to meet it. I saw the spray of blood in the sun beams throgh the trees (it's crazy the still images the mind captures in adrenaline charged moments). This sent the liitle fellah back the way he came about 3 feet flat on his back. He did nothing after that but lay on the ground bawling like a baby.
This all took less than 10 seconds. Marvin lost his shit after seeing his dad and litte brother get stomped. He charged from about 6 to 8 feet away raising the dowel rod over his head telegraphing his intention to strike from overhead. Sheer reflex was to block close to his hand with my palm. My timing was off and I wound up blocking with the outside of my right hand about ¾ up from his hand.
I didn't realize it at that moment but the blow broke my right metacarpal V and wouldn't become aware of the fact for about 30 minutes when my glove on my throttle hand began to tighten from the swelling.
When I blocked the dowel with my right hand I managed to grab it with my left and gained possession. I thrusted the end of the dowel into Marvins' ribs eliciting a sharp from Marvin who then ran from the woods abandoning his dad and brother.
The entire thing didn't last 30 seconds. Like I said, I didn't see what happened between Gary and Marvins' dad after Gary tagged him with the right hook. But I do know he wasn't far behind Marvin. Before he turned to run from Gary I could clearly see blood running from his mouth, both nostrils, with both eyes already blackening.
All three Oney "men" got their asses kicked by two 16 year olds that day. The hilarious part is, and Gary and I both laughed about this over the phone around 2016 after losing track of each other for almost 40 years, that they both came over to save David and they both ran leaving David in the woods.
How msny times did your mouth get your dad and little brother beat up when you were that age?
