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Posts That Were Thanked by HTS-∆FAM∆-KING OF THEVOID RONALDO "THE HALF BAKED BAN"
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2017-07-05 at 8:32 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSI found it sitting next to my car as I was leaving my apartment. I don’t know why I picked it up. How many countless pennies have I walked past as I’ve gone about my life? Dozens? Hundreds?
Yet, for some reason, I was drawn to this one.
This shabby, crusty old penny.
When I got to my desk at work, I began to unload my pockets. Cell phone. Wallet. Keys. Penny.
Phil, one of my colleagues, walked into my office. In his hands were two breakfast sandwiches from our favorite breakfast joint.
“Hey, Steve. They only had enough bacon to do one sandwich. The other one is sausage. I know we both like bacon, so…wanna arm wrestle for it?” he laughed.
I glanced down at the penny. Lincoln’s face, a nice shade of green, was staring up at me.
“Let’s flip for it,” I said. “Winner gets the bacon.”
Phil nodded as I flipped the coin. As it reached its apex, I called heads.
It hit my palm and I flipped it onto the back of my hand.
Heads!
I polished off my sandwich and started going about my day.
About an hour in I started to realize it was going to be a slow day. No new orders. No new e-mails. And every e-mail response I sent got an out-of-office reply. Obviously, it was the day before a holiday. Everyone was probably out enjoying their lives. Meanwhile, I was stuck in the office, staring at my Outlook.
At around noon my boss walked in, Phil right behind him.
“Ok, things are slow and people are cutting out early. I need at least one of you here in case the team has any issues,” my boss said. “Decide who will get to leave early.”
As my boss left, I stared up at Phil.
“Well, you got the bacon sandwich, sooo,” he said.
“Hell no,” I said. “You got to cut out early last Friday…and the Friday before that.”
“Ugh, come on, man. I got…plans…this afternoon,” he said awkwardly.
I looked down at the penny. I swore ole Lincoln gave me a wink.
“Let’s flip for it?” I said.
It didn’t take me long to pack up and head for the door. I could feel Phil shooting daggers at me from behind. Sorry, old friend. But, today is my day! Tails never fails!
I glanced down at the penny and gave it a knowing smile.
I headed to Wal-Mart to buy my wife some flowers. I wanted to surprise her …maybe take her out to an early dinner.
After Wal-Mart, I headed to the gas station and got gas. As I was paying, I spotted the lottery tickets. Hell, why not? Today was turning up good for me!
Which one should I pick? I wondered. I grabbed the penny from my pocket. Heads, Seven Sevens. Tails, Lucky Rabbits Foot. I flipped the coin.
Tails. Lucky Rabbits Foot.
I scratched off the ticket as I stood at the cashier.
One.
Two.
Three lucky rabbit feet!
I scratched off the prize. $250!
Luckily the cashier had enough to pay me the winnings. I skipped to my car, cash in hand, and headed home.
I got to my apartment and headed for the door. It was left open a crack. My heart sank as I pushed it open slowly.
I could hear the master bedroom shower running. My wife called out from it.
“Hey, Phil! I’m just taking a quick shower. Sorry if you texted, my phone broke this morning!” she yelled.
I felt my legs almost give out on me.
I turned back around and slowly closed the door. I headed down the steps and got back in my car.
I don’t remember driving. I don’t remember walking into the store either. But, next thing I knew I was standing in the hunting section of Wal-Mart.
“What can I help you with?” a worker asked me as I stood by the glass case that held guns and knives.
“Gun or knife?” he asked.
I felt my right hand reach into my pocket to grab the lottery winnings. My left hand reached into my pocket to grab the penny.
“Let’s flip for it,” I said.
I stood outside the apartment door. It was closed now. Before I could reach for my key, it swung open, my wife in tears.
“Steve, I…oh my God, I didn’t want you to find out this way,” she cried.
I stepped inside. I saw Phil sitting on my chair in the living room.
My chair.
“Listen, Steve…I want you to know that…I want you to know that this has nothing to do with you,” she said between sobs.
I walked up to Phil. He stood up, defiantly.
“Listen, man,” he began. “I—“
Before he could finish, I had plunged the knife deep into his abdomen. He stared into my eyes as his body began to go limp. Far away I could hear my wife’s screams.
“Steve, oh my God! What did you do?!” she yelled.
I turned to her, the bloody knife still clenched in my hand. She was on the floor, clinging to one of the kitchen chairs.
“Steve, please don’t do this,” she said. “Please! Please don’t kill me!”
I stopped a few feet from her and reached into my pocket to grab the penny.
“Let’s flip for it,” I said.
As I merge onto the highway, I lift the penny up in the air. It looks almost brand new. Shiny. Vibrant. Goddamn beautiful penny!
I hit a bump in the road and hear the bodies shift in the trunk.
Fuck.
What the hell do I do with them?
Do I bury them?
Do I toss them?
I look at the penny.
“Let’s flip for it.”The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-05 at 7:37 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-05 at 7:24 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Sophie Nice, language is awesome. I also like old English. It has soem words really close to Dutch. Like "athelstan" which translates to "edelsteen" in Dutch and of course "edelstein" in German. Kind of weird how it got to be "Gemstone" in current English.
ethel means "noble" in old english. the word has deeper roots in roman legislation and politics: "aedilis", latin for magistrate, basically meant power, wealth, status... pretty much what nobility is about. later into the roman empire, aedilis became aedile, a person in charge of the public treasury, giving it the relation to gems, an obvious symbol of wealth and power. as time passed the word became a masculine name, then a feminine name. parents naming their daughter ethel, adelaide, or any other name that is centered around the word basically means that the person might as well be a gemstone, whether they mean beauty, rarity, uniqueness, value, etc.
the classical element ether also is related to the word. ether was supposed to be the element that made up the space between the earth and the heavens, and in greek mythology the word "aether" was used to describe the essence of absolute purity that the gods breathed. speaking of which, the greek god "aether", a primordial deity who accurding to orphic hymns, represented the "bright air" and light and contrasted nyx which explains why the word was associated with sheen and general illumination. we see here how down through time the word started out as being related to luminosity, brightness, and purity in ancient greece. take that, and add the fact that aether was the embodiment of zeus' might and power, and people start to associate the word with authority and purity. that word goes through more evolution in the hands of rome, a group of people who had very organized and clear cut leadership structure, and the word becomes something to describe nobility and later, the management and head of wealth. later, move it into the hands of the gauls with the help of roman cultural diffusion by way of inclusion into the empire due to being extremely prosperous. late iron age gallic culture had a big focus on intricacy and splendor, with the mediterranean gauls being very wealthy due to the material worth of their exports alone. cue the attempted gallic revolt led by vercingetorix, which was the head of pretty much the most powerful tribe in the area. it failed, he was a hero, the attachment of nobility to the word, etc etc on down the line until you get the german word "edel" that means gem.
to get a good grasp on things like that you have to think about it as if it happened today and how words, culture, society, etc evolves as things happen. take for instance the discussion of "fam", the word didnt always represent ironic shitposting...The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-05 at 7:07 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSprobably bothThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-05 at 7:06 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by mmQ Best of luck to you m8aroon. I can tell you from experience that once you dedicate yourself to water mostly, it gets easier every day, and in no time you'll find the thought of buying a sugary ass soda nearly repulsive.
Thanks. That's the plan, water and that Gatorade drink mix if I absolutely HAVE to have sugar.
I feel somewhat more tired but better in every other way. I don't know if my body is just used to mass quantities of sugar or if it's just psychological.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-05 at 7:01 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Kolokol-1 I think I'm finally going to be able to quit drinking soda!
I ordered a couple bottles of these: http://nootropicsdepot.com/caffeine-100mg-l-theanine-200mg-capsules/#PhotoSwipe1497355100470
And I've had few soda cravings, and those that I did have have been manageable.
It seems stupid but that is the addiction in my life that has been BY FAR the most difficult to kick, and is what I'd consider the only reason I'm overweight. I don't know why it's so hard for me to kick, probably because I've drank it for so long (since I was 11 or so, so about eleven years), but I think I'm finally going to be able to do it!
Best of luck to you m8aroon. I can tell you from experience that once you dedicate yourself to water mostly, it gets easier every day, and in no time you'll find the thought of buying a sugary ass soda nearly repulsive.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-05 at 7:01 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSIs Tor not loading for anyone else? I'm figuring everyone else thought it useless to be on the 4th and now there's a shit storm of vendors and junkies overloading it now that the postal holiday is over..The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-05 at 6:59 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSI think I'm finally going to be able to quit drinking soda!
I ordered a couple bottles of these: http://nootropicsdepot.com/caffeine-100mg-l-theanine-200mg-capsules/#PhotoSwipe1497355100470
And I've had few soda cravings, and those that I did have have been manageable.
It seems stupid but that is the addiction in my life that has been BY FAR the most difficult to kick, and is what I'd consider the only reason I'm overweight. I don't know why it's so hard for me to kick, probably because I've drank it for so long (since I was 11 or so, so about eleven years), but I think I'm finally going to be able to do it!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-05 at 5:39 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-05 at 5:03 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-05 at 5:01 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSDamn nigger, someone went all fucking out nearby. I had a pretty nice view right from my door.
At first I thought it was a small scale professional fireworks show at a nearby park. I think it's literally being going on for over 20 minutes straight by now, possibly getting close to 30.
Fucking redonkulous. I wonder how much those cost. They must some well off niggers or have good connections.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-05 at 4:43 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-05 at 4:25 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-05 at 4:24 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDShue
No, uhhh, how about..... a farmer who lives alone and a group of 18-year old girls who pretend to be lost and come to his place in order to try and rob him.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-05 at 4:23 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-05 at 4:23 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-05 at 4:22 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSI feel like writing a short story, someone give me a theme that isn't rapeThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-07-05 at 4:17 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Malice Damn, sundown. Things are bound to get cray cray at some point. Well, Ash seems to be pretty chill, she's just chilling out napping on a small stack of papers she likes to rest on, for some reason. I have my ear muffs + plugs.
I don't think there's any true psychology behind why any given cat likes to sleep in/on any given location. Chootie usually has 3 favorite spots at any given time, and she'll replace one of those about once a week, and another once a month, while always maintaining one permanent favorite.
I sleep on my couch since my mattress hurts my back, so essentially Chootie has had the bed to herself for the last 6 months, and when I'm not there, or I'm sound asleep, she'll lay on these indentations she's made on the pillow at the head of my bed.
Otherwise, right now, her other two spots are just a floor spot next to my TV, or on the top part of my couch near my head.
She hasn't been using her cat tray much for the past few months, for whatever reason, but she'll sometimes rotate to that, or on my computer chair, or under my bed, or in the farthest corner of my closet, and on occasion when she's in a weird mood she'll somehow manage to find a spot that I somehow cannot find despite the fact that I live in a 1-bedroom apartment and I look as far as I can tell every fucking spot of the place.
Goofballs. She likes laying on plastic bags sometimes as well, but she's never been a paper fan.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-05 at 4:06 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Needledick_Needledick_Needledick
lol my cats outside right now with all the fireworks, probably hiding.
Damn, sundown. Things are bound to get cray cray at some point. Well, Ash seems to be pretty chill, she's just chilling out napping on a small stack of papers she likes to rest on, for some reason. I have my ear muffs + plugs.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-07-05 at 4:04 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by hydromorphone He said sometime not too long ago you said you'd ruin his *insert life/career something like that here*.
Just don't pick on 1337. He's ma' nigga too, ya know.
I never fucking said that. I have my a*utism memory power, everyone has noticed I remember nearly everything, particularly what I post.
He must have misinterpreted what I said or confused a post I directed at someone else.
The only relevant thing I can think of was some conversation that partially took place in PMs. It was about some of his life issues and me heavily criticizing him for his incredibly selfish plans after what had recently occurred, the problems he has in life. I never said a thing about ruining his life or career, I don't have any reason to. He can be very overly sensitive at times and angry, I actually remember him admitting that he likes to go online just to get pissed off at people and argue or fuck with them, something along those lines, so he could definitely have developed that idea because he thinks I don't like him.
That nigga has serious problems, this just could just be some paranoid fantasy he's concocted in his mind. He did recently admit he's fallen back into opioid addiction, so who knows what's going on in his life and mind. It always ends up with him seriously fucked up in multiple ways.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
