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2017-05-05 at 9:14 AM UTC in teh retraded thred herppppp slober fuk glum editshin
Originally posted by Malice There's a possibility, as embarrassing as it is, that I may have to beg Lanny for an anxiolytic, like etizolam if he has any (I can pay), in order to prevent myself from having continual panic attacks and possibly developing epilepsy. May not be able to make an appointment in time. Had a bad episode just now when I smoked too much pot before going to a theater. Completely missed out on Your Name, wasted the experience, because I couldn't even concentrate or follow it. That's how bad the lack of GABA inhibition was.
For safety of course we could just ask the other to do a safe exchange where we don't come into physical proximity. I wouldn't trust myself either, to be perfectly honest, there's asymmetrical information and valid reasons to worry. For a while now I probably haven't given that impression.
Oh god, I'm so autistic I even failed at going to an anime film alone. Why was I born with this curse? You have no idea how bad it is or can become for some people. I hope I didn't fry my GABA receptors with that extended bout of heavy drinking. Having some mild visual side effects that are worrying after that ER visit. Damn this fucking sucks.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-05-05T09:01:37.522839+00:00
ill lsell you 1000 3mg xanax for $666 USD right now
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2017-05-04 at 11:02 PM UTC in Be tentative when selling Xanax (or any benzos for the matter)Quantiks face when
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2017-05-03 at 11:57 AM UTC in Attention niggasin space usersStart shoplifting soup.
Yay soup
Fuck a computer
We on soup now niggaThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-05-03 at 8:24 AM UTC in teh retraded thred herppppp slober fuk glum editshin
Originally posted by Discount Whore Malice, let me compile all of your posts into a book. We'll split the profits 30/30 and use the extra 40 to buy you hookers.
I actually would like to have my posts compiled so I can some day write the two main papers I'm interested in writing.
Lanny, do you remember this paper?
https://reddit.com/r/Nootropics/comments/2u5vgt/is_serotonin_an_upper_or_a_downer_the_evolution/?st=j28pe4bw&sh=e7d9a9d8
I remember you saying that in a way depression/melancholy was like a super power, but the trade off was depressing.
There was also an interesting one in the same line found on GABA and memory (hypermemory and Asperger's). Due to insufficient synaptic pruning people with autism generally have around 40% more synapses and neural activity than normies.
Essentially, what I'm postulating, is that effective treatment could considerably reduce some of the cognitive traits that put me at the extreme end of human ability, but allow me to function better and be happier.
It's so interesting, during those last few days, or weeks before the ER, my anxiety was at it's peak, but I was just constantly lost in thought about complex subjects and grasping things. Those memories and thoughts should still be there due to how strongly they can become encoded in people with Asperger's.
It's like I broke through to the other side and managed to bring some things back. Things that could take years of work and research to complete. (Not in a spiritual manner, I'll never buy into that bullshit. It would have been so fucking sad if I had turned to god (not even for a moment, I'm an avowed atheist and always have been) or some other nonsense.).The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-05-02 at 9:41 AM UTC in Just got out of the ERWhen I first set out I was actually on buying more alcohol and prolonging things, but somewhere along the path I was finally pushed over the edge.
What spurred me was the serious risk of epilepsy due to having been self-medicating alcohol anxiety that had become so severe I was drinking a liter of brandy and about 3 liters of wine a day. (IIIRC Debonaire_Death drank himself to the point where he developed cirrhosis and still has to spend a lot of time dealing with. Poor Guacamole, MisterY's partner and friend in Ceretropic, ended up dying because he mixed benzos and alcohol, and I wonder if the insomnia to that degree was from anxious he was, willing to risk death just to get some sleep, was he so tormented by his thoughts to the extent that they led to this. Essentially hitting rock bottom. I knew when I walked in I was going to tell them about my other severe issues.
Suicidal depression, hikikomori and going into detail, unmanaged symptoms of autism, various things that had happened in life, having been undiagnosed with a severe case of Asperger's at 19 (I fell through the cracks, it was glaringly apparent, but it didn't happen and I suppose looking at things from this perspective, the lashing out I engaged in was clearly because of it), and how that ended up being one of the most damaging things in my life, I never received anything for it even after the diagnosis, having had no friends in 14 years due to what's now practically PTSD, the poor family to the point where my neglectful parent only stayed together out of a sense of obligation, having been seriously considering divorce during at least on period, I pretty much lost my parents when I was 13 and literally don't have any family at this point that I can fall back on, explaining how severe my depression and anxiety had essentially gotten to the point where I was just locked, the final days were just being spent in bed doing absolutely nothing etc
It was actually what I needed, and I wasn't involuntarily committed or in a psychward, although I did state that I would have been okay with hospitalization. A guard did have to be in sight of me, but that merely entails them being in line site sitting casually, usually just playing on their phone, doing paperwork. They gave me Ativan and phenobarbital via IV along with bags of saline for hydration, and was hooked to an ECG as well.
It reminds of the anime Welcome to the NHK. Once you actually break out it's so obvious that everything was in your head, and now you're completely alone in the world and will have to grapple with these issues for the rest of your life.
Oh god, my life is so fucking sad. I just want to go to bed to continue breaking down crying and I don't even have a cat to give me some semblance of company. For about the past three years the only person who's pretty much ever contacted my had been my landlord, I've literally never spoken to anyone so I sure as hell don't have anyone now.
At least things may finally be changing. Unfortunately I had to hit rock bottom and will have to rebuild my and my life from such a fucked position to be in.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-05-02T09:43:57.899087+00:00The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-05-02 at 8:58 AM UTC in /deli/ thread DPH420chan is fucking garbage I huff cough syrup and post on this garbage forum all day but I wont degrade myself to post on that shithole. I only troll there when I do meth or im really intoxicated.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-05-02 at 5:32 AM UTC in She died moments later...ITT swappers and tosser of the highest order!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-05-02 at 1:24 AM UTC in Can we all take a moment to mourn our lost brother
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2017-05-01 at 10:55 PM UTC in She died moments later...That looks like a real bad lightning storm.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-05-01 at 5:20 AM UTC in foudn these on the paark today this mornningniceThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-05-01 at 3:29 AM UTC in Is the government/secret society ppl gonna go nuts and kill us all?This thread is a shit postThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-05-01 at 3:10 AM UTC in is xanax stronger than kpinclonazepam is relatively subtle, compared to alprazolam anywayThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-30 at 6:47 PM UTC in how to make crystalized dmt?THis is all you need
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2017-04-30 at 6:02 PM UTC in how to make crystalized dmt?
Originally posted by AltarEgo Dmt extraction yeilds are really low. Generally less than 1% yeild. The process is cheap and easy enough but generally doesnt get much of a yeild and the larger amount you try to extract the less you will probably get.
Dmt aint a money maker baby. Better just stick with smurfin some suda and breaking bad instead.
THis is false DMT is easy a fuck to make/extractThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-04-30 at 3:44 PM UTC in ☂☂The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-30 at 7:06 AM UTC in shooting methamphetamineyejaThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-29 at 5:05 PM UTC in is xanax stronger than kpinzungoThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-29 at 4:46 PM UTC in is xanax stronger than kpinThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-29 at 1:42 PM UTC in ben up all nightThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-04-29 at 8:10 AM UTC in sick idea for smugglingI'm gonna travel to other dimensions and space and sell literally everything I find for millions of dollars. Angelic relics and shit, holy fuck why has nobody done this??.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
