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Thanked Posts by Bradley
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2020-12-08 at 6:51 PM UTC in Tech Died a Couple of Days Agowho the fuck is that
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2020-12-08 at 5:45 PM UTC in The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)HI veryone, I Foudn this threead. I'm trying to quit drinking and it's not going th best. I've been staying away from liquor after I was really deep in my feels in August and started having bad thoughts. I started my effexxor 150mg mid seeptember again. I feel better now than when i was drinking so much vodka. I was getting bad withdrawls but managed to quit for about six weeks and then I went to go hangout with this girl I wanted to fuck and she was drinking so the just one thing kinda happened and I proceeded to stay drunk till like a week ago, Today is my first day not drinking, I don't have any weed, but I havee somee hydroxline that my doctor perscribed last month and i told her they didn't work cuz i wanted xanax, so now i just get nothing foor anxiety, fortuantely, I normally take less than im peerscribed (I'm perscribed 225mg effexxor for instanc, but only take 150) becausee if I can't get a refill or i lose my medicaid or something I neeed to be on them or i get really really sad like i did last year when i went off of them for like eight months after my ex left me.
So here's to today, i feel like going down rn and getting somee beer, but I will not because I want better for myself and it's extrmely obvious to me i'm addicted to it. -
2020-12-08 at 2:39 PM UTC in catching up with cageI like to do yoga. I encourage others to come over to my house and get stretched out.
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2020-12-07 at 5:15 PM UTC in BradleyB's Retarded Winter Rehab Idea
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2020-12-06 at 10:44 PM UTC in Anyone wanna talk on the phone?Quitting drinking isn't going well for mee. I'm probably gonna need another prison bid or rehab or some shit. I don't want to burden my 1 equally drunk family member and I have like 6 close friends and all of them would tell me not to drink the beer i just walked half a mile to get. I don't know how to work Tinychat and Rabbitweed permakicked me out of Discord when for the fifth time in two hours he was asking how to find local black men he can suck the dicks of without getting beat up at the local park again
So I'm bored, IDK how to work chatrooms or make one or not get banned from one, Hollar Panthrax my Niggere~!~!~, I would like some company and feeel kinda shitty.
We can talk about : my homosexuality, my narcissistic character traights, why I still think I am going to be successful onee day, you I gueess if you want to, I'm willing to tell stories and idk maybe jerk off or somethin when you gete to telling a long story, and I'll talk a bout bad ideas and my pirate gang I started locally.
I also have a ps4 and assasin's creeed valhalla becausee I am still very very gay for Odin
Holler at your boy. -
2020-12-06 at 11 PM UTC in Anyone wanna talk on the phone?
Originally posted by Bugz I can only say ask the great creator for guidence and to stop the urges of wanting to drink. chant, pray a lot mean it when you do so.
have you asked your doctor if there is a medication to stop the urges? I think Gabapentin was used for this. this drug is used for seizures, spinal pain, an older psych medication and it might stop the urges?
I hate suggesting one vice to replace another but Pot is fairly benign I think (for 99.% of the world maybe?)
smoke pot. drink a soda instead. Just a simple La'Cruix drink? chill. just find something else to occupy your mind. stay away from people who drink until you kick that urge. don't have "one for old time sakes"
I hate people that say "Oh You're a Quitter huh"
Stick with friends you actually like sober who dont drink and will chill with you. getting a buzz doesn't have to require dangerous drugs and Alcohol is a very dangerous drug. it's a shit drug that only causes Hangovers as far as I know.
Dog I 'm a drug addict too but it's not that bad. I smoke a lot of shitty weed and CBD weed my friend grows. I take mushrooms sometimes and I love speed/crystal/cocaine but I am extremely poor so I buy only a quarter gram (20$) once or twice a month.
It' sjust the alcohol that reaelly gets me. When I moved from my dad's house last winter, I stopped shooting up meth the moment it wasn't around like it was nothing. Cigaretttees when I get locked up are like that too. BUt htis alcohol shit just gets mee. I was sobere for about 3 1/2 to 4 yeaers but I fucked that all up for myself last about 18 months ago.
Kinda hate myself, in August I was considering just taking all my fishing stuff and going swimming in Lake MIchigan until I couldn't swim out any farthr. I was very drunk drinking vodka and tomato juice abouty a milee and a half on a breakwater for the marina, I'm really glad I didn't kill mystelf but when things get hard, of course I still think about it.
I am on Effexxor 150mg and when I don't drink I have to take Hydroxyline to deal with the anxiety and shit.
I never had anxieety until this summeer eithr, i'm 27 and it really pisses me off becausee I know my liver isn't all that jeeopardized by my drinking, my mom isn't dying of anything, I don't do anythihng illegal (aside from small amounts of drug injestion) or have anything illegal near me, but I just get to worrying and hurts me in a lot of ways.
I did buy 3 fish tanks, got 2 of them running 1 for guppies and 1 for angelfish, the third one I want to do shrimp in
I think that'll be nice and give me some level of purpose. I got this needy milf cat that I named Lumpy and im starting to not like her tbh. -
2020-12-06 at 10:49 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..I drank half a steel reserve and alrady i feeel perfectly finee and ready to work through my childhood trauma that led to my homosexuality, excessive drinking, and multiple mental health conditions that remain barely treated to this day.
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2020-12-06 at 10:52 PM UTC in ITT things blacks have ruinedAll 3 of your holes.
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2020-11-15 at 1:02 AM UTC in Me mate just twocked a bunch of PS5's today anyone want one?does he have any xbox360s
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2020-11-11 at 3:15 PM UTC in Supermarket self checkout machinesif you get a job at the grocery store you get 10% off, so basically you could buy 1 item and shove 50-55 in your coworkers back pack. ask them for a ride to your mom's (I write this assuming you are living with a biological parent you won't seperate from the nipple of, & she doesn't let you use "the family" car), while theey're driving say you left something in their bag (????), if you work 2nd or 3rd shift it will be too dark for them to see what you are grabbing out of the bag, if you work 1st shift you must give them 1/50-55th of total merchandise stolen, this is referred to as "Shrinkage" in your business. And if you ever ever ever get caught, explain the oldest male employee there was molesting you and paying you in goods from the store that he paid for with his 10% off coupon and stuffing into other employees backpacks and using them as mules, PROFIT
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2020-11-04 at 11 PM UTC in Fona © 11-4-2020Fonaplants represents the bottom soggy 40% of America that is the standard white male trying his best, and disappointed with the rest. Might subscribe 6/10
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2020-07-28 at 3:57 PM UTC in Tort's criagslist CC, SS#s, bank robbery, and mexico criminal guide for dummies!!!!!An inspiring tale of both daring adventure and great personal growth. Would go watch in theaters.
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2018-02-03 at 6:08 AM UTC in BradleyB's Old School Runescape Thread
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2015-07-30 at 7:33 AM UTC in mixing beer with spice is literally jesus christfeelin a little jelly tbh
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2020-04-02 at 4:13 PM UTC in John/Sploo killed himselfRemember when he did the Diphenhydramine speedball? He was a shooting star and we were blessed by his presence albeit brief and mostly retarded.
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2015-11-01 at 9:42 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery Thread[FONT=arial]Most of you know me pretty well and about my love of 211s so I will just gloss over it quickly before I start.
I am a 24 year old alcoholic, drug addict, and criminal. My addiction mostly stems from drinking alcohol, though I do like synthetic marijuana a lot. I've never had a problem using other drugs besides from the synthetic weed which I compulsively smoke until I run out and then just go without. The alcohol I wouldn't let myself go without.
For six and a half months I didn't drink from about December of 2014 till July 3rd 2015. I came back in full force and truthfully hadn't been sober because of the large amounts of k2, prescription amphetamines I was using.
My fiance I was with for what would have been six years ten days from now hated my drinking at the end of 2014 and my drug use while i wasn't drinking. Effectively I had traded one addiction for another.
Between July and August I went back full force and was drinking 2 to 3 four packs of Steel Reserve 211 a day on top of vodka (when I went out).
For those of you live in third world countries that don't sell steel reserve it is a malt liquor (the can says "Fine Malt Liquor" but I'm not convinced). It is the cheapest alcohol one can consistently drink and it's not hard liquor so my alcoholic mom (who I lived with since I went back to drinking in July) and my ex fiance preferred to me drinking hard liquor. It is sold for $2.55 for a 4 pack of 20ounce cans and packs a punch at 8.1% Alcohol Content. I also stopped drinking vodka daily in part to a seizure I had in the spring of 2014 when I ran out of vodka and had been consuming 1.25 liters a day + a 4 pack of the Steel Reserve.
I suffered from physical and mental symptoms the last time (at the end of September) manifesting itself in the following ways:
-Shakes/Tremors of the hands (majorly) and the head (minor) in the morning.
-Inability to Eat unless having consumed two cans of steel reserve already (hence why i did my cooking show Cooking with ZyclonB and BradleyB[/FONT][FONT=AppleSDGothicNeo-Regular][FONT=arial]© so drunk)
-Inability to Sleep (though this never was a problem because every day I sourced the alcohol)
-Being a malt liquor drinking nigger.
-Not understanding that my ex was pretty much leaving me for good.
-Not taking care of my arthritis, made worse by compounds found in the malt liquor.
-Pain in the kidneys/liver.
-Suicidal thoughts/Depression.
-Constant obsessive need to drink one more, not wanting to drink in the morning but needing to get well.
-Sweats in the early morning when i'd wake up.
Well then the police called me out of the blue and wanted to talk about some vandalism. My buddy had told me I whipped a steel reserve can through this kid's house (dude was a total faggot I picked on at the bar a lot), since it was a tall boy and a full can, it obviously shattered his window. I then may or may not have run up and pissed in the window, my buddy said I did but I don't think I'd do that considering the noise that'd it make.
Anyway, it was a block down the street from the bank that I used to go to until they closed their lobby. Not realizing their drive up ATM had cameras pointed at the road I was caught on security camera footage. Still don't know how the cops just *knew* it was me, but it's a small suburb of Milwaukee and like I said I've been causing crime here for awhile (my whole life).
So when I went to the police station to deny the allegations, they showed me some stills from the footage. I refused to accept what I did and the stills showed a 5'8-6'2, white male with a small beard, of average build, the note at the bottom said "runs with physical impairment" which is my arthritis.
I told them that's a bunch of horse shit, lots of drunks walk around with an intoxication-induced physical impairment, 5'8 to 6'2 white male of average build? That's not compelling evidence at all plus my mom would verify that I was at home at the time this happened. I deny the charges and will fight these in court to prove my innocence, I told them.
Then they said the unthinkable, "We want to offer you sobriety, the state will not make you pay for the window nor charge you with Criminal Vandalism if you agree to 60 days confinement in the county jail and comply with all forms of treatment."
Not wanting to be on probation, pay tickets, pay for that dumb fuckers window or have new charges I thought this was a good deal. But I am not new at this game they play.
"Have the DA sign a piece of paper saying no charges will be issued for this and I will enter in a no contest agreement to your proposal."
They told me I had to agree to it on the spot and admit what I did. I told them no and was arrested.
Before I had a hearing for bail they had the jail staff give me a paper agreement called a Differed Prosecution Agreement
([/FONT][/FONT][FONT=arial][SIZE=14px]A [/SIZE]deferred prosecution agreement[SIZE=14px] (DPA)[/SIZE][SIZE=14px] is a voluntary alternative to [/SIZE]adjudication[SIZE=14px] in which a [/SIZE]prosecutor [SIZE=14px]agrees to grant [/SIZE]amnesty[SIZE=14px] in exchange for the [/SIZE]defendant[SIZE=14px] agreeing to fulfill certain requirements. [/SIZE][SIZE=14px] Fulfillment of the specified requirements will then result in dismissal of the charges[/SIZE]) - Wikipedia[/FONT]
[FONT=AppleSDGothicNeo-Regular, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol, NotoColorEmoji, EmojiSymbols, Symbola, Noto, Android Emoji, AndroidEmoji, Arial Unicode MS, Zapf Dingbats, AppleColorEmoji, Apple Color Emoji][FONT=arial]outlining the terms they had agreed with me on at the police department. Of course I signed this. The alcohol classes were supposed to start in a week, so i sat in jail, then they canceled[/FONT][/FONT] my classes. It's at this point I got over withdrawal and decided to actually try to live sober. I checked with the court staff and they said as long as I sat the time and was willing to do what they told me during it, i'd still be complying with the DPA. Even if they didn't have me do classes.
So from 9-1 to 11-1 (which is actually 62 days but who's counting?) I sat in a maximum security tier in Milwaukee County House of Corrections and did AA classes. They offered me something called Vivitrol. A once monthly injection that blocks opiate/alcohol receptors in the brain and makes you unable to feel the drink/heroin NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU DO. Effectively if I start drinking, I'll drink drink drink and nothing will happen, then out of no where I black out and pass out and the hang over lasts three or four days. The injection was given to me on the 29th of October at the cost of 800$ which the State paid for as a trial run to test it on alcoholics (they normally do it for heroin users), I'm one of the first two dozen people shot up in Milwaukee County with it for alcoholic recovery.
I'm also doing an outpatient twice a week, three hours a session class. I am eager to work the AA 12 steps and go through everything with a sponsor, I've never had a sponsor or gotten past Step 3 so this is huge for me. I've never really wanted this before.
The out patient place is free but will help me get on BadgerCare (WI state healthcare) which will cover the next shot in 25 days and also help me get my Rheumatoid Arthritis treated which I haven't ever tried to take care of in the last 8 years since I started having it. I'm going to pursue getting Social Security Disability as well. I think I get a FoodStamps/Quest Card right away too.
Since sobriety is boring, I've also started working on a fictional book. Just to kill the time with, I don't think it's that good but I'm very critical of myself and it's about 70 pages deep right now. I like to right to digress my mind before I go to sleep.
I haven't called my sponsor yet but plan to in about a half hour and start going to daily AA meetings. Probably should go to one today, yesterday my best friend came over drunk as fuck after the bar Halloween party closed. I didn't drink but I did start smoking cigarettes again, but if that's the worst part of my issue I'm happy with it.
My fiance the little Mexican lady I love so much talked on the phone and she wants nothing to do with me, doesn't want to text, talk to me, or anything. I don't know if this will change but I think she really hates me. I deserve that after everything I put her through and told her that. That was pretty big for me because normally I try to pursue one last chance.
I don't want to engage in sex with men or really with anyone anymore. At least until I figure out myself and what I need to do for my mind. I need to build up my relationship with Odin again who I neglect when I'm using and drinking a lot.
I miss who I used to be and don't wanna be the Ol' Drunk Ass 211 Drinkin' Bearded Faggot BradleyB anymore. I'd rather just be 'That nice guy who helps me learn/love/life.' I don't know who would ever say that about me or when it'll happen but I have faith.
I owe the Hospital like 2.2k, I owe UW-Whitewater college like 1.3k, and I owe the IRS 3k (even tho it started as 800 like two years ago). I need to handle my affairs and get my life in order. I have like 800$ left to my name.
I'm really scared about living with my Mom who is, right now at 3pm in the afternoon on a Sunday, already slurring her words a little and bitching at me that Netflix isn't working on her Chromebook with the HDMI cord to the TV which I have explained to her about a thousand times how to get going. Right now I'm thinking she just put the TV on the wrong input setting, but she's bitching so I'll have to cut this short.
So shit on me, tell me about how you're proud of my recovery, or just talk about me in general if you want. That's where I've been and this is wearing I'm going to go. I'll be here as always because I love this community so I've decided to open up about what's going on with me.
I'mma go set up my Mom's netflix, grab my smokes, and go outside and make my first introductory call to my AA Sponsor.
Thank you for reading my recovery thread, I will post details later. As I was incarcerated and not able to source alcohol or drugs I am not counting that time as sober time.
I'm very nervous about all of this, but I know it's what I need to do for myself.
Before anyone asks, I'm still not giving up the criminality lifestyle. Just the using and drinking. I love the Business as a whole more than I love myself as a person.
No BradleyB thread is complete without a picture of myself taken today, just after writing all this:
I am considering 11/1/2015 to my first day of recovery. -
2019-04-01 at 2:07 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery Thread
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2019-04-01 at 2:02 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery ThreadCASPER your delivery was shit because you're fat as fuck and are easily winded by talking which is why most of your conversations are on the internet.
Should I have taken the ban hammer instead of MARKX3131312? Yeah probably.
I am a top, I engage with men who generally the entire length of me knowing them, I never see them climax. Very bizarre that men would want to engage in sex without busting, but I'm cool with it.
My farm pays for itself, I hid money at various points of my life that I largely have been using to double my standard of living on disability. I don't have a huge fucking farm or anything crazy.
I'm also doing well enough in life that I don't want metadata listing my location. On Facebook I have it set up where it says I live in a little town that's basically a meth/poor pocket. However I'm about 40 miles east. I also don't really want to put up photos anymore of myself.
I'm happy, I liked a lot of you and I'm sorry I had bad parts of my personality that made me greatly disliked. I'm not a Nazi or a racist or really anything beyond someone whose afraid of the government and worships the Earth and smokes weed.
I'm sorry for all the fucked up shit I said to people on here and the opinions I no longer feel. I guess this is part of making ammends. I'm a different person now and I don't sit on the computer much at all anymore. I live life and love life. I hope you all can find the happiness and the peace of mind it took me until 25 to really GET. I live to help people and am deriving happiness from the happiness of my people and my animals.
I wish you all the best of luck and as much as I'd love to hang out here, it's 9am and I got shit to do outside. Stay well everyone. I will never forget you all. -
2016-11-02 at 7:35 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery Thread10 months, 5 days sober. I'm at 195lb, I body build every day. My arthritis is doing super good. I only occasionally get pain in my wrists. I got over my ex leaving me (for the most part). I stopped watching gay porn and started an OkCupid account to meet some beautiful women. I read the AA book here and there and don't believe I need a sponsor to walk me through the steps or any gay meetings to remind me how to be sober. I have never been happier in my whole life than this.
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2019-03-20 at 2:49 PM UTC in BradleyB's Rock Bottom -- Recovery ThreadHello everyone. I have come to tell you about my success. I am over 3 years sober except I smoke about 3.5 to 7g of weed a day, I have a girl and a farm and a couple trailers and be turning up hard as a bitch. My girl let's me fuck dudes on the low. I breed tropical fish, zebra finches, parakeets, ball pythons, small dogs and tropical fish. I no longer do bonsai but grow sage. My bitch manages a successful gas station. I engaged in a losing conflict in Milwaukee and fled to the safety of the Nicolet National Forest. I'm back in school but don't intend to work ever again. I no longer go to AA meetings, play video games or do anything of my old self. I'm openly bi/gay and make okay money and have no unmet needs. I came back cause of the passing of malice. I am practicing elements of Buddhism and an Odinic soldier. I teach Yoga now and love dab carts, having sex with US military personnel and breaking off 18 year old twinks I make my step son find.
My life is perfect and I live to make the world a better place. I'll throw up a photo of me.