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Posts by Bradley
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2022-11-27 at 10:51 PM UTC in What are you thinking about....i posted my alter here once, regreted it.
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2022-11-27 at 10:47 PM UTC in I never loved herOT: If you loved someone, you can't unlove them later because things change. YOu can stop loving them but you can't be like "oh i never REALLY loved you." and think anyone's gonna be hurt by that or even believe it.
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2022-11-27 at 10:46 PM UTC in I never loved herYes, what OP is supposed to do or I suppose anyone, normally it's just the OP who has the issue says:
OT: ....
and then they go ont heir little bitch ass tangent trying to add to their conversation no one cares to reply to, I mean but the difference is also the fact that this thread never had a topic
Kafka has great emotional disorders and changed her mind about writing a little thread about her ex girlfriend who she most likely just decided she never actually loved (probably cuz she reread it ten minutes later and was like wow i can see why bradley says what he says about me) and deleted it.
So we have basically thread with no end, no topic, and 4 or 5 of the best posters on this site all chiming in, it quickly devolves into what amounts to a chatboard, same thing with the how are u feeling, personal blogs, and pretty much anything wariat posts. -
2022-11-27 at 10:42 PM UTC in What are you doing at the moment
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2022-11-27 at 10:41 PM UTC in What are you doing at the moment
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2022-11-27 at 10:41 PM UTC in What are you doing at the moment
Originally posted by CandyRein It really is…I know y'all see the strongest part of me on here but I'm so tired ..my whole life is caring for other people and I just want to fuqn sleep right now ya kno..
But I'll be okay ..thank you again ❤️
I think it's really great that those people have you to lean on and look forward to. You post about how much you do and I'm sure it means a lot to these people to have that level of dignity and caring to make sure that they have quality lives in their golden years. I'm surprised they don't have you at a higher position, have you turned down promotions?
Hope you have a good night, Candy. :) -
2022-11-27 at 10:39 PM UTC in What are you doing at the momentdolphins did really good
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2022-11-27 at 10:38 PM UTC in guys I told herexcept that if i were to get drunk i would be at the bar, high on drugs, talking to women, telling lies about myself, gaining their confidence and cumming in them or drinking to black out and fucking up my life by not going to college and giving up at being successful when I just stay drunkn for six months on the beach?
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2022-11-27 at 10:34 PM UTC in guys I told her
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2022-11-27 at 10:33 PM UTC in guys I told her
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2022-11-27 at 10:29 PM UTC in guys I told herbooze has always been a problem for me in ways that no drug ever has and probably nothing (at least nothing) ever will be so pervasive of an issue.
I'm thinking about drinking right now and have been for a couple hours! Thinking about drinking tomorrow when I go to college because this gay environmentalist guy asked me to go to the bar after class two different times (and i think he knows i'm a homo) and i'm in his environment class tomorrow, you see it's just a constant little uh it's like they say a monkey on my back and i get stoned and i hear it and i'm not skitzophrenic but it's like i just feel like a little demon lives in my mind and tells me like hey the people at the boarding house won't care if you're drinking!
your roommate will not tell on you for anything! he said your the best roommate he's had in a long time!
you can and will get away with it! You're not on probation! You can drink! Why can't you! You don't have exams! You already have the study guide! Why go to the class tomorrow! YOu could leave and just drink at the bar and get laid by a beautiful girl! Beautiful girls will talk to you at the bar! You don't have to be lonely! you could go to the gas station and get a tallboy and drink that ont he way to the bar! YOu could be drunk in less than 10 minutes bradley! YOu have plenty of money! YOu're doing good in school! You're doing good except you're lonely! You can't find anyone because you can't find a way to socialize!
It's a sunday, bars are full brad! Go to the gas station~! Then go to the Bar Tell everyone you're going to the library! DRink at the library! Fuck it! You can read and drink and do school stuff!
Get drugs! get drunk and get drugs!
Get a 4 pack of stele reserve, go to the library, go buy 40 in crack, get really high! go to the bar once it's dark outside! Vibe with others! Black out! Tell lies! Cum in people! DRINK!
but only if i think about it does it turn into that spiral
but i won't drink (some days are worse than others)
Just constantly. But only if -
2022-11-27 at 10:22 PM UTC in guys I told herBut this attitude also affords me the belief that no one needs to feel bad for anyone for anything, I could be so much worse off and every person I know that's got something wrong with them doesn't want pity they want others to ignore their disability unless they're giving them money.
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2022-11-27 at 10:19 PM UTC in guys I told her
Originally posted by jerryb Thanks for telling me about yourself. I have back and joint pains and take a couple of hydros a day. Your probably worse than me so I will not give you shit about needing to control your pain.
I actually am super against opiates in any form & I never really felt them physically. So like I'm so against pain pills that I won't even take Tylenol, Aspirin, Ibuprophen, or any form of opiate, I'm also against the nerve blockers like gabapentin.
BAsically like I take drugs because they make me happy (i'm a drug user) or because they make my body work (arthritis meds/anti depressant), I consider being in pain to be a part of life. And this is not to you but to anyone in our modern society, you should expect to have pain in life and whatever your lot is in life you must accept that burden. Everyone has unique issues or will as they go through life and it is up to each one of us to try to accept that burden and do what we can to manage it.
I also am afraid that one day they will work/i'll find one that gets me really high, and then I'll overdose and be dead like all my dead friends.
Also, again this is my opinion, what I have is a degenerative disease and similar to your brokeback it's not going to ever get better, these are not acute injuries, they are chronic ailments. So anything you take to alleviate your problems, you must accept you will be taking forever since if you don't feel the back pain (or in my case pain in my joints), when you do stop taking your pain meds your pain will be much much much higher that you're now feeling as your body goes through withdrawal ontop of being extra sensitive to what we previously defined as natural pain you suffer as part of living.
If someone breaks their arm or has surgery or suffers acute injury, opiates are great. They are in a severe amount of pain that is a single event that they will recover from, to alleviate their suffering at this moment and for the period of healing makes sense.
But if they say oh my foot still hurts when I walk even though I broke it five years ago I need pain meds so I can walk and function at work.
The realistic response should be: No you need to develop a higher pain tolerance because if the pain killers make you able to function, your body is able to function, you'll just be in pain. -
2022-11-27 at 10:09 PM UTC in guys I told herBut now I live a different lifestyle, I don't really obsess about money, I'm kinda poor, but I also don't buy anything (Except 35$ vape Delta 8 pens from the headshops, I do buy those a lot) the majority of my clothing was given to me, I rent the books from the library, i own my own bedding, but not the bed, I don't have anything at this point aside from some money, and I feel free. Freer than I did in May at least.
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2022-11-27 at 10:02 PM UTC in guys I told herJerry, I have very few marketable skills. Without bullshitting you, I mostly did cooking in restaurants and sold drugs. I went to college and at 19 prison, I managed a diner, and yes I could work, everyone knows that, unfortunately I can't stand for long periods of time, and sometimes parts of my body won't bend without pain or just not at all, my body is fairly well managed now with medicine, I couldn't do construction or even stand for more than two hours, but could I work at a desk or something where i alternate between standing, sitting, and walking? Yes. Currently my biggest limitation is my hands, I have very little hand strength in my finger joints which like typing doesn't matter at all, but using scissors or a can opener is extremely difficult for me. Carrying grocery bags similarly is unless I use my wrists, I can't hold a screw driver, and sometimes jacking off is hard cuz i can't squeeze that hard.
Unfortunately as previously mentioned the only work experience i have is cooking which is all standing and using your hands/wrists repetitively, so i'm fucked on that. I haven't had a job since I got put on Social Security in 2016, well i haven't worked since 2014, i spent most of 2015/2016 doing my second prison bid.
So basically I got this long ass criminal record (no sex crimes, no theft crimes), an 8 year gap in my employment history (which I have a friend who lies and says I managed his CBD farm for 5 years and got laid off during the 2021 pandemic when he downsized heavily, who gives me a glowing reference), an inconsistent attitude as it relates to life/labor, and no skills that would warrant me being given a desk job.
So uh I stopped selling drugs awhile ago, and moved to Miami, stopped drinking, did two months of rehab, got into a boarding house, and now i'm in college finishing my associates degree at a community college this spring, and then next fall I'm going to go to a 4 year school, and try to get a job where i can do accounting/book keeping/ledgers/money in&out/taxes/sales receipts/personal taxes and kinda like work really hard for a couple hours, fuck off for an hour, work hard for a couple hours again, fuck off for an hour or more, and then go home from my so/so paying job.
Realistically i'll get this 4 year degree and just keep going for more and more schooling because A) I don't feel like working and i don't see that changing in two years & B) Because I enjoy being in school and no one can say i'm a piece of shit when i'm a college student on the dean's list/3.5gpa+, also I can live on almost no money (below 1k/month) in one of the most expensive cities in the USA.
I in the last six months have begun taking enormous pride in my spartan ascetic lifestyle, having in June at age 28 given away everything I own except for my computer and 2 changes of clothes, and moved out of where I'm from. I had never left Wisconsin aside from 1 family vacation once, and out of the blue on 5/30 labor day weekend I got a ride to the greyhound station and left to Miami Florida, a city I'd never been to where I knew no one to start a life for myself because it was the farthest south I could go and I dind't wanna be cold ever again (it makes my joints hurt really bad when it snows and winter in general)
I was tired of drinking, tired of being cold, tired of the people I associated with, and my friend (who I had an off and on gay relationship with for 15 years and was close to) overdosed in March, so I just left.
A couple of my close gangster friends were concerned cuz I started giving away like my weapons, and books, and electronics, and fishing ewquipment and burglary tools and were really concerned I was gonna kill myself cuz they all talk and realized between themselves they had pretty much everything I owned. -
2022-11-27 at 9:37 PM UTC in JerryB number 1 index Athens Tennesseedo u like blacks jerryb?
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2022-11-27 at 9:36 PM UTC in Fireworks laws are exactly whats wrong with societyi'm such a homo lol
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2022-11-27 at 9:35 PM UTC in Fireworks laws are exactly whats wrong with societythat be kinda cool tho being like the one black girl on a boat of 4,000 dudes and you know they're all STD free, so as long as you're on birth control, you could probably have non stop cock action for eleven years straight (she's never had a bf to my knowledge)
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2022-11-27 at 9:32 PM UTC in Fireworks laws are exactly whats wrong with societyoh and she likes to drink so you know whatever number of dicks you would've said you can probably triple dat.
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2022-11-27 at 9:32 PM UTC in Fireworks laws are exactly whats wrong with societythis black girl i fuck wit was in the navy for 11 years (she just got out now) and never once went on a submarine i was like how fuckin lame is that
how many big white dicks do you think she took in those 11 years? (she only fucks with white guys and was stationed on a ship periodically and then as a yeoman on a naval yard)
