2018-12-21 at 8:11 PM UTC
in
Santa is a pervert.
He's also jedi. Why else would he be working every Christmas?
Get bees to sting them. Works every time.
Get a mirror about 50 cm square. fix the mirror tightly into a frame. like a thick wooden picture frame. make sure the mirror is tight and strongly fitted, or believe me YOU WILL LIVE TO REGRET IT ...IT WILL CAUSE A MISTAKE TO HAPPEN A MISTAKE YOU WILL NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO PUT RIGHT. SO DO NOT RUSH THIS FRAME.
Now mount the frame on a small table with legs about 25 cm high. make sure the mirror is on the top of the table. when you look on the table you can see yourself. AND BELIEVE YOU ME, MAKE SURE THE WHOLE SET UP IS STURDY AND STRONG....OR YOULL REGRET IT.
NOW make your way down to a shallow running river. not a still river. Take a BRAVE friend with you. Both of you step into the river and hold the one side of the frame each. with one hand on each corner.
now go to a depth in the river so that the legs of the frame are on the bottom of the river and this makes the mirror on the top of the frame about 5 to 10cm below the surface.
now take a few deep breaths and relax. both you and your friend STARE INTO THE SUBMERGED MIRROR, AND FOR GOD SAKE MAKE SURE YOU ARE HOLDING THE STURDY FRAME TIGHTLY.
EVENTUALLY WHEN YOU BECOME MESMERISED WITH THE MIRROR, YOU WILL CEASE TO SEE YOUR OWN REFLECTIONS IN THE MIRROR AND THE REFLECTION OF THE RUNNING WATER, AND A KIND OF DARK SHAPE OF ONE FORM OR ANOTHER WILL APPEAR IN THE MIRROR. This shape is an existing being, that is alive like you and i, but it is of a different form. it will be kind of dull, and looking at it will frighten you. but stay and keep staring at it, because it is also staring at you. now if you or your friend gets really scarred, to the thing that is looking at you, it will see this fear as a vibrant display of one form or another, and this is very attractive to this kind of being, and then it will try and come out of the mirror to BE WITH YOU ...TO BE CLOSE TO YOU AND TO ...GET THIS.....STAY WITH YOU FOREVER AND EVER. EVEN when you are 100 years old and dying, this being will be next to you if you let it get out of the mirror.... trust me. you will know it is trying to get out of the mirror, because the mirror will start getting kind of dragged about in the water by some mysterious force, IT WILL START TO FLAIL AROUND. this is when you must pull that mirror clean out of the water WITHOUT BREAKING IT. IF IT BREAKS ...YOU HAVE JUST GOT YOURSELF A NEW MATE...THAT IS WHY I STRESS THE WHOLE SET UP HAS TO BE VERY STRONG. it may be difficult to get the mirror out of the water, but if you run off and leave it in the water. the thing will still come out and believe me it will catch you in 100th of a second. the thing to know is, this being will be like a dark dull mass, something you have never seen before, and if you run it will run after you and it will always be just nearly getting you. it does this because it knows that by being close to you, that vibrant display ( your fear is at a max) it will also be attracted to anger or laughter. if it does get out and come after you, just sit still and it will also be still, laugh and it will come close, be scarred and it will come close. basically just accept it. if it comes out you have just got yourself the closest friend you will ever have..........
2016-04-25 at 8:43 PM UTC
in
I made a clock in flash.
But I lost it in the desert of HTML. If anyone can help me find it, or a collage I appear in, thatd be great.