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Thanked Posts by TORTILLA
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2024-07-29 at 1:19 AM UTC in Tortilla Chronicles - A Confession Story - The Final ChapterI was 8 years old when I realized my anus was an endogenous zone. Like HTS and fonaplats (he's gay), I was immediately fascinated with this zone. It all started when my parents installed a pool into our Las Vegas backyard. "Have fun little Tortilla" they would say. Fun I had indeed. I discovered that if I swam to the bottom depth of 7 FT i could place my anus on the suction intake and have orgasmic feelings until I ran out of breath.
Fast forward 25 years. Lots of people in and out of my house. Lots of whores. Empty cocaine plates. Lots of crazyness. My house is a disaster. And now i Lay here naked on my couch. The party is over now. I am left here with the depression, silence, and emptiness of beer cans. An AR-16 by my side, ready for the trigger to be pulled at any moment. And I love it.
In 2020, right as the Pandemic was occurring, I was approached by a man outside ChiChi's whore house in Pahrump, Nevada. He said I was slick and liked my style. He offered to buy me lunch on the outskirts of Vegas with a business proposition. I obliged. At lunch he presented me with a device that he had developed that attached to the inner thigh. Without going into details this device allowed me to signal him from across the poker table. During COVID Vegas had instituted a policy of plastic between the players. This worked to our advantage. We made roughly 600 thousand dollars between 2020-2021.
High on life my partner and I decided to go to Tijuana with some of our winnings. There is a whore house in Tijuana called Hong Kong. It is filled with 10/10 latina women willing to do anything you desire. I was high on cocaine when "Jake" my business partner, told me he was unable to get hard for the 2 prostitutes we had with us. I told Jake, I used to have a friend who would stuff highlighters up his ass and immediately get an erection. With no highlighters on hand, we used the only elongated object in the room. The TV remote control. Jake couldn't handle it and thats when I remembered. Pool suction. I pulled the remote from the hookers hands and poured cocaine onto jakes anus. "Chupar" I instructed the hooker. She began suckin his ass lol. Jake got hard and we had a great night, until Tina, the Mexican hooker wanted to leave Hong Kong club and go to her place. I was hesitant but I Left with her because she was so fine.
I never saw Jake again. He was killed that night.
There is currently a civil war going on in Tijuana. Los Chapitos and CJNG are currently at war for the territory. The girl Jake was with was with CJNG. Ive been in TJ ever since, and have been dealing with the guilt of Jake being gone. Ive been mourning Jake, especially for the considerably brutal death he endured. They got all of the many money we made from him. It coulda been me too.
Eventually my money will run out. Eventually I will move on to Guadalajara. And as I lay here, sweaty, gun by my side, only time will tell where this goes.
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2023-10-24 at 11:47 AM UTC in RIP Nina "Privacycunt" NewmanWe just found out she died. It was a longtime coming. I will miss you sweet princess.
Another TC/zoklet member bites the dust. And only a few of us now remain. If ur from the TC era and ur reading this, uve truly beat the odds to this point. keep on goin
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2024-05-12 at 7:38 AM UTC in So it has come to my attention... (MASSIVE FORUM DRAMA)
Originally posted by RIPtotse Lol idk maybe red shouldn't go jacking off on cam in your video chat rooms. But hes too drunk and depressed to give 2 shits about his own life so I gave up lol
Originally posted by RIPtotse He def did that that totally sounds like red lmfao
Biggest 2 faced lil heroin addict loser statement ive ever seen in my time.
I used to think u were an OG RIP, but i realized RIP You sir are a fuckin loser. you play both sides. typical of addicts.
u told fona to ban me from ur lil group chat. then when you saw i was gone, ur shit talking began. what u didnt know was i was still an admin of the channel and I could see all ur lil fags chats. u, fona, and red's lil conspiracies were hilarious.
You guys all sided with red. Red, the mentally ill man. RIP i think its time you owe me an apolgyThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2024-05-12 at 10:38 PM UTC in Dear HTSthe year was maThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2023-10-20 at 11:09 PM UTC in hts?need hts info. i miss the lil guy. he was one of my best friendThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2021-09-26 at 2:12 PM UTC in Bareknuckle Boxing Event - January 2022 - G vs Tort
Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood OP is a closet homo just looking for an excuse to touch another male.
Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood OP is a closet homo just looking for an excuse to touch another male.
javascript error checker online
see you at the gay barThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2021-09-26 at 8:17 AM UTC in Bareknuckle Boxing Event - January 2022 - G vs TortLadies and gentlemen I'd like to present you with the fight of the year. G has decided to disrespect me in TC on multiple occasions. I've had enough. So I've decided to have him put his money where his big fat fucking mouth is. It's time to put this internet warrior in his place.
I challenged him to a fight. He agreed. I told him I would make this thread to cement it in history, and for all the people of Rome to judge. He agreed.
The terms: I will be in Florida in January. I will drive to North Carolina and meet at a destination of his choosing. The entire event from me showing up till the end will be live streamed for all those to see and judge.
Stats:
Tort
-power lifting (1,000 pound club) comp winner 180lbs division 2020
-dont give a fuck
G
-Enthusiastic PI discovery capabilities
-Ex marine core chef
-Drinking out of Styrofoam cups
This thread will be updated regularly as updates come.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2021-07-27 at 12:31 PM UTC in If money wasn’t an object…
Originally posted by RIPtotse I’ve spent millions and 130g a year isn’t shit, I make 100k a year just from interest
Originally posted by RIPtotse My life is pretty shitty I lost my job due to being a complete idiot on Xanax, am attempting to go back to school I have 12 credit hours until my associates but I’m trying to find a way to fund this, I’m living in a home my parents own and don’t pay much rent but I’m on unemployment now, but you know me tort and I know you, and I can proudly say I’m not addicted to heroin or fentanyl anymore which I’m sure u remember seeing my skinny ass on tc back in the day.
I’m sorry to hear about your issues man but I truly do hope the best for you and always liked you as a person on tc..
Anyway my bank account has literally never went above 3g
????
Also, average jane is that really you? this is tort. I often wondered what had happened to my sweet. I've longed for you. you should come into tc sometimeThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2021-06-01 at 5:09 AM UTC in I'm the best.
Originally posted by komokazi There's never been any doubt in my mind, because, I'm the best in the world. Even though a lot of you don't like to hear it, I just.. In fact, I'm the best. You know what I mean? I, I mean sometimes, I don't even wanna believe it myself but, it's the truth. I'm the best.
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2021-05-23 at 4:16 AM UTC in well hungs stats
Originally posted by Deanna Troi That link was seriously coming on a decade old like what the fuck lol
So that's §m£ÂgØL? i dont come here much
https://i.imgur.com/hU2s0bj.jpegThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2021-05-18 at 11:11 AM UTC in well hungs statsJoined 2011. 27k posts. Averages to 13 posts a day for last 10 years.
I cant imagine being 43 years old posting 13 times a day lmaoThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2021-05-18 at 8:42 AM UTC in La Zona Norte, Tijuana. A tale of ecstasy, love, and deception...Promised Bill Krozby id give detailed story on this when I finally did it. RIP niggaThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2021-05-18 at 9:02 AM UTC in La Zona Norte, Tijuana. A tale of ecstasy, love, and deception...i remember when u showed face on cam and sucked everyones dick to make friends after we made fun of u lolThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2016-01-20 at 9:27 AM UTC in BEHOLD HE, Bill Krozby, LEADER OF THE FUCC BOi ARMYThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2016-03-02 at 9:08 PM UTC in Tort's criagslist CC, SS#s, bank robbery, and mexico criminal guide for dummies!!!!!Go on the jobs section of craigslist and find an application for a job with wide appeal. Make sure the application has a spot to put your SS#. Repost that application as if you are posting as the hiring manager on CL in all the major cities. There are people, many people, who will put down their actual SS#, name, address. Diligent application of this method will result in a mega dump. Sell on darknet, PROFIT!!!!!!!!!111111111\
Option 2: Apply to shitty pizza place. Take phone orders. When people decide to pay over phone with CC, simply write down their CC#, 3 digit security code, name and address down on ur phone as you take the order in the pizza place's computer. PROFITTTTTT!
Option 3: Go on Craigslist's part-time job section. Make an add saying you need several painters for a large personal construction project. You will pay 150$ per day, and the job will last up to 2 weeks if the person decides to return the next day. No commitment required beyond day 1. This will appeal to a wide audience, especially if you live in a large latino populated city such as Los Angeles. Dress code is required, Blue jeans, white shirt, and a hat. Give a time and a date. Give the hiring/pickup location in front of a bank.
Stash a bike 2 blocks from the bank. Rob bank wearing blue jeans, white shirt, hat, and disguise. Flee on foot, grab stash bike, remove disguise. The police will be thrown off long enough to make getaway. PROFIT!!!!!!!!!!
Option 4: Cross the border on foot from San Diego into Tijuana. Take a cab from the initial cross point to the red light district (La Zona Norte) to avoid the notorious mugging trap points, into relative safety. A room can be rented for 12-25$ per night. This will be your temporary base of operations. Walk the streets of La Zona Norte and find yourself 1-3 hot latina hookers. A typical fuck is anywhere from 15$-50$ for 20 minutes. Tell them you have a job for them tomorrow, at an unknown time, but you are going to pay them triple. Get their contact information and tell them to be ready to meet at your hotel tomorrow.
Return to your room and go on to craigslist's ETC/Part time job section and look for ad's in spanish that translate to: ''Border Crossing''. which are usually followed with a simple phone number and dollar amount. Call the number and make an appointment, if you don't speak enough spanish to set up a meeting place, tell them you only hablo english. I assure you, you will get put on or called back by someone who can speak english. Now, because you are american/and are likely a gringo, your a hot commodity for this line of work. You will be asked to meet at a safe house. You will be asked several questions of competency and you will be vetted to assure that you are not a rival cartel mole. You have nothing to fear, tell the truth, you are simply on vacation looking to make some extra $. It's an acceptable and not uncommon thing which these guys see more than you think.
The following morning a car will be driven to your hotel room. A GPS will be plugged in with your final destination into america pre programmed. You will be given 1mg of xanax and be asked to depart. This is where you deviate from the plan. Call all 3 of your latina hookers saying it's go time. Whichever one gets to you first, tell her to hop in and haul ass, reprogramming your GPS for Cabo San Lucas. Once you are able to get on the freeway heading south, dump the GPS outside the window. It is an easy straight shot south from here. Once you arrive at the destination, you'll need to rent a time-share apt with a garage. Have your girl go upstairs and enjoy the view and get herself ready. This is where you get to work.
If the vehicle is a truck, the goods are located behind the the back passanger seats. Remove the seats, if you encounter a steel plate, this is a good thing, it is used to deflect xray detection at the border. remove plate. If there is no plate tap the under side of the fuel tank, listening for a hollow sound. If you are confident it isnt there either, check inside the door pannels. Headrests are a good spot as well. Today's drug mule cars are trending towards moving bulk as opposed to relatively small quantities hidden sophisticatedly within the car. This is especially true when it is your first run. You are a disposable asset to them and your first time through the border is usually the most successful, so they tend to hide bulk shipments, which can only be hidden in the places described above.
Once you find the saran wrapped packages, pull out as many as you feel you will need. Drive the stripped car/truck a few blocks away and ditch it. Rejoin your latina, and hopefully the christmas gifts you are about to unwrap are some high quality meth or cocaine. In which case, go on a 1 night drug fueled sex party. Book a flight back home for the next morning, stuffing as much of the drugs up ur ass as humanly possible. Return home and shit out the drugs, selling them will yield a large profit, having covered the expenses of the entire trip. Sit back with a fat cigar on your porch and smile.
Optional - If you dont wanna ditch the hot latina, fill her up with ur cum the night before and give her your contact info for citizenship, and give her 150$ to get back home.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-08-26 at 9:09 AM UTC in BREAKING: Bill Krozby continues Austin, TX raping spree
Anyone spotting a 5'6'' 105lbs man with limp wrists in the downtown area please contact Austin police immediately.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-04-24 at 1:22 AM UTC in Fonaplants Apprehended by FBI for Wafflehouse MurdersAfter speaking with his mother, I can confirm that 29-year-old Travis "fonaplants" Reinking of Tennessee is responsible for the murder of multiple people during the Wafflehouse shooting. I thought it odd, that Sunday morning, when fonaplants removed all his clothing on cam. Crazed and professing that he could no longer handle kinkou's denial of his love, he sought out the last semblance of love hes ever felt: selling his anus to local wafflehouse patrons. He told me that he had given his NIS login/bank account info to kinkou, as a symbolic dedication of his desire to see her in person. She then changed all the passwords, and is currently posting under his account.
Here are dated photos of fon and his old mugshot:
https://imgur.com/a/R3uBRPn
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2018-02-24 at 4:21 AM UTC in The Retardest Thread: Fashionably Late Edition.try smiling
also lol §m£ÂgØL has aidsThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-11-05 at 1:03 PM UTC in i take control HTS account and murdered her entire family wat the fuck u gonna do about it bitches
Originally posted by HTS If scron comes back here after this I'm beating his ass ti within an inch of his life. hose were all my drugs and I have nothing left. The cunt even took our cigarettes AND the vaporizer. Possibly my backpack too. Scrumfuck rat shit piece of garbage.
HAHAHAHAHAAHAH
EMBARRASSING
PATHETIC
IMBECILEThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-09-16 at 1:09 AM UTC in ATTN: All those which this concerns: HTS + SCRON SAGA PART IIAfter finally arriving in the greyhound station of downtown Toronto, HTS and his homosexual tweaker internet lover scronlando finally embraced one another. It was a match made in heaven, HTS swore to god via TC that he would never allow scron into his household. But as all good love stories go, he eventually allowed him into the most vulnerable culdesac of his life: his basement.
Scron took the bait like a starved fish under a frozen Alaskan lake. HTS sucked his cock, and sucked it good he did. HTS even admitted to scron cumming down his throat.
Nevertheless, HTS became hurt. Scron and hts had a miscommunication. Scron wanted to find his life in this homeless world while hts had no idea why scron wouold ever want to leave the depths of his basement. HTS became an etiz/RC addict for the next 4 days in which he continually asked me, ''is there any hope for me, tort?"
Scron went on his way. And during his adventures into a new downtown, he was mugged. But scron soon realized, his best bet at survival was that dark smelly basement that he came from. So, scron, giving no fucks, knocked on HTS' door, his parents answered. but somehow, being the beta parents they are, they allowed him to see HTS. The following video is what happened next.
Video props go to: Panthrax
Post last edited by TORTILLA at 2017-09-16T01:12:05.280556+00:00The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
