What if you were a superhero named John Selphukass and his only suoer power was to be able to fuck his own ass? As in he gains a limited form of time a space warping where a portal opens up in front of his dick and his ass and they are desynchronized by 1 second so when he thrusts in and out, the inward thrust is synchronized with his later backward thrust, which propels his ass into the inward thrust of his own cock a second earlier. This way he can fuck his own ass.
There was a black guy who was playing golf and some people started yelling "tiger woods!" At him and he started laughing and said "you racist fools, you think that just because I am black of skin and partaking in the sport of golf, I am Tiger Woods?" At this point a tiger came out of the woods adjacent to the golf course and ate him. Ironically if he had heeded their warning rather than assuming racism of them, that stupid nigger would have lived.
