Originally posted by Grylls
So early hours of this morning around 2 am I woke up with what seemed to be just an itchy ass. After 15 minutes of scratching it I realised it was beginning to become excruciatingly painful so decided to apply cream which did next to nothing and the pain got that bad I thought fuck this and called for an ambulabce and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought nah fuck it yo holmes to bel air!
I pulled up to a hospital about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabbie yo holmes, smell ya later (True story continued)
Went straight to A&E and got seen to by this hot doctor after a fucked up 10 hour wait. She examined me and I began to notice she was developing beautifully teary eyes behind her covid mask.
I said Im sure Ive seen those pretty eyes before and she said yes Leon you have…
Then I realised I knew her from a previous ward a while back where she treated me like shit but I had still bought her flowers, chocolates and perfume after helping me either way and because I had a huge crush on her.
She kept mumbling how sorry she was to me and then had me sent off to another ward full of niggers and a random chink guy.
I was like ok you really gonna get fucked up now pal!
The chink guy said Leon I need you to relieve yourself into this vial for me now, I was like shit ok but came out of the bathroom with an empty vial.
He then said, congratulations on relieving yourself. I was like yeah yeah joke you can see its empty you vinny looking faggot. Then he said I mean you really are relieved, you can go home! Just put on this jockstrap.
I almost punched the chinks lights out before he said, take a look around at your family Leon, you really are home.
It turns out all the niggers were part of my family tree I never knew existed who worked in that same hospital. Then I walked out wearing nothing but a jockstrap and a smile on my face. While the doctor “Ellie” was watching me with tears still pouring down her face.
A lot more to this TRUE story and I have a pic to prove it too.
I’d beforehand packed an overnight stay bag not knowing what was gonna happen on my arrival there.
I worked out she was such a bitch to me the first time because she saw a pic of my angel and was jelly. (Pic of my angel and my wristband on request)
So in the end the whole thing was a way of apologising to me.
Still havent gotten to the “bottom” of the itching, could it actually have been from jock itchy really vinny you faggot
its from the dudes that sodomize you in your sleep who have so many assorted STDs that your sphincter is now a puckered petri dish with new and exotic lifeforms growing.
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