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Posts by Chairman Takeshi Kaga
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2021-06-13 at 1:40 PM UTC in What are you doing at the moment
Originally posted by Ghost i feel better now i think thers some hay fever going around i saw a bunch of random people on the internet say they were dying lastnight too. I think the lack of human activity from covid has created an environment with lots of pollen because i'm fucking dying this year
Gay fever^ -
2021-06-13 at 12:42 PM UTC in What are you doing at the moment
Originally posted by Ghost i spent the evening with a razor blade laying on the floor cutting up packets of benadryl pills with the oven cranked on high and I would crush the pills on the floor and snort them up and then stick my head in the oven until it melted the crushed up pills in my nose into a liquid and then I would plug my nose, tilt my head back and do a huge snort and get all the medicated plhlem in my head to go doewn into me.
I put my head in a vice grip a few times and squeezed until it hurt, I think it helped a bit. I can feel pressure under my nose and eye I think I need to stab a metal rod through my temple and puncture a hole into my sinus to relieve pressure
Gay^ -
2021-06-13 at 11:07 AM UTC in What are you doing at the moment
Originally posted by CandyRein *Saturday night activates*
😏
https://m.facebook.com/beatport/videos/971344896941453/ -
2021-06-12 at 2:28 PM UTC in I am losing my mindMother, I'm going to be a firefly
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2021-06-12 at 2:25 PM UTC in I am losing my mind
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2021-06-12 at 12:05 PM UTC in Happy PRIDE monthMore like penisweed
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2021-06-12 at 12:05 PM UTC in Pinot Noir more like Penis Niggar
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2021-06-12 at 12:03 PM UTC in What are you thinking about....
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2021-06-12 at 11:59 AM UTC in I am losing my mind
Originally posted by aldra honestly the anhedonia/dissociation is how I feel, I don't get the 'vivid daydreams' though. sometimes I get similar if I binge on benzos and then stop, or if I eat a lot of lyrica but they're not universally dysphoric like you described.
have you been binging on anything? I've only ever seen you post about drinking and weed, but I guess you might have symptoms like that if you smoked a lot and then stopped altogether.
I haven't stopped but yeah I mostly do weed and drink and I keep some Xanax around to pop once in a while. I think the xans do sometimes cause spikes in my anxiety at random the next day or two and that has in the past contributed to a lot of "lost in my head" time.
Like I will sit there and entertain totally insane, scary, paranoid etc bullshit with my eyes closed for like half an hour.
Then come back to reality and I'm still sitting on my couch, next to my girlfriend and a cat or two, but now my heart is racing, my brain is going 100miles per minutes, my fists are clenched etc and I don't know what the fuck was going in. -
2021-06-12 at 11:55 AM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..When you eat flaming hot Cheetos yesterday and your shits are red and cheetopuff-like
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2021-06-12 at 4:55 AM UTC in I am losing my mind
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2021-06-12 at 4:53 AM UTC in What are you doing at the momentMegajuana borritu from Tijuana Flats
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2021-06-12 at 4:46 AM UTC in I am losing my mindI no longer hold the capacity to feel true joy, or much of anything any more. I go to sleep early so by the time I will be awake, my girlfriend is already asleep. I now don't like most of the time I spend with her or basically any other human so I prefer to be a night owl.
Last night I drank wine and watched over 100 seegore.com videos for absolutely no reason. I realized like 80 deep that I hadn't felt a single thing, it was like I might as well have been watching boring cartoon violence.
Between bouts of wakefulness I live inside a nightmare. I nod off on the couch for 30+ minutes at a time and come out of these strange daydreams with a rush of emotions like fear, anger, disgust etc but they all seem impersonal. I can sorta feel them there but they don't mean anything to me any more other than just feeling like I am going crazy.
Most of my time every day has become occupied with stuff from inside my own head, stuff pertaining to the past, stuff that doesn't even relate to reality, stuff I can even know for sure isn't true. I have very little connection to reality if I look at the proportion of my day that internal and external things occupy.
I have a recurring dream where I find myself hurtling towards the earth at immense speed from Low Earth Orbit where I ram into the atmosphere and having my skin burned off by sheer air friction and my bones reduced to dust and ash.
The specific part I "like" from this dream is the idea of being slowly disintegrated until there is nothing left, at the very last second before I disappear, I will appear as a speck punching through the air, all lost to the winds. -
2021-06-12 at 12:06 AM UTC in I am losing my mindDepression I guess.
I have deep daydreams/hallucinations where I am lost in thought and having some kind of terrifying mind adventure for 30+ minutes at a time and come out angry, crazy, suspicious, looking for a fight etc.
I don't want to live any moee -
2021-06-11 at 11:59 PM UTC in I am losing my mindI'm getting really close to boarding the bus man
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2021-06-11 at 11:49 PM UTC in I am losing my mindI am suffering serious mental health issues and am losing my grip on sanity
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2021-06-11 at 11:48 PM UTC in What are you doing at the moment
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2021-06-11 at 11:47 PM UTC in Pissler SyndromePinus
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2021-06-11 at 11:47 PM UTC in Pinot Noir more like Penis NiggarCurrently I've drank 2 litres of wine
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2021-06-11 at 11:46 PM UTC in How are you feeling at the moment..Nigger
