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Sometimes i can't tell whether i am schizophreniang or not.
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2017-04-02 at 5:25 PM UTC
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2017-04-02 at 5:32 PM UTC
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2017-04-02 at 5:41 PM UTC
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2017-04-02 at 5:42 PM UTClong
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2017-04-02 at 5:51 PM UTCand explain why you ditched your other username, kolokol-1 or whatever.
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2017-04-02 at 7:26 PM UTC
Originally posted by Dargo and explain why you ditched your other username, kolokol-1 or whatever.
I'll probably pick it back up eventually
Either that or juicebox, my original totse/zoklet username
Apparently I got extremely fucked up and made a thread saying I was going to kill myself and all kinds of crazy shit
I don't even remember it lel -
2017-04-02 at 7:27 PM UTCwtf i got cucked
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2017-04-02 at 7:27 PM UTC
Originally posted by crabbypenguin long
Originally posted by crabbypenguin long
I don't remember the vast majority of anything from my childhood, and what I do remember is not good at all so I imagine that's part of it. I don't remember my father and anybody that came into the family as a father figure was a complete dickhead so I spent most of my young life hating men. Then I hit 18, got a job, got out of school, and got out into the real world, and quickly found out women are just as bad.
Then there was the drug use. Just innocent psychedelic use at first, then dissociatives,then opiates. The meth and alcohol didn't come until later
I'm sort of like malice in that all I've ever known is isolation, involuntary at first, then I got used to it and now prefer it but apparently everyone wants to talk to me now but I just want them to fuck off
I act stupid here but IRL I'm so many levels above everybody I meet, they all seem so fucking slow, and the world moves too slow for me, I get bored with people quickly, and it seems that all people want me around for is to bitch about their problems to me, which I don't fucking care about the vast majority of the time. For these reasons I don't even bother trying to meet friends or partners anymore.
I lived under a bridge for a few months, and it seemed to actually improve my mental state for a while but then I started drinking extremely heavily and using stims heavily and it got much worse
I have what appears to be organic psychotic mental illness and rather severe depression and the resultant run through the mental health system and debt from that only made it worse. I was somewhat shunned by family for a while because they don't believe in mental illness. They either think it's demons or drug use. I think these symptoms could be indicative of temporal lobe epilepsy rather than organic psychosis though.
And a lot of other family issues but I'm not getting into that again
I just quit drinking so maybe it'll get slightly better
Post last edited by Hash Slinging Slasher at 2017-04-02T19:42:41.726787+00:00 -
2017-04-02 at 7:32 PM UTC
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2017-04-02 at 7:38 PM UTC
Originally posted by Hash Slinging Slasher I don't remember the vast majority of anything from my childhood, and what I do remember is not good at all so I imagine that's part of it. I don't remember my father and anybody that came into the family as a father figure was a complete dickhead so I spent most of my young life hating men. Then I hit 18, got a job, got out of school, and got out into the real world, and quickly found out women are just as bad.
Then there was the drug use. Just innocent psychedelic use at first, then dissociatives,then opiates. The meth and alcohol didn't come until later
I'm sort of like malice in that all I've ever known is isolation, involuntary at first, then I got used to it and now prefer it but apparently everyone wants to talk to me now but I just want them to fuck off
I act stupid here but IRL I'm so many levels above everybody I meet, they all seem so fucking slow, and the world moves too slow for me, I get bored with people quickly, and it seems that all people want me around for is to bitch about their problems to me, which I don't fucking care about the vast majority of the time. For these reasons I don't even bother trying to meet friends or partners anymore.
I lived under a bridge for a few months, and it seemed to actually improve my mental state for a while but then I started drinking extremely heavily and using stims heavily and it got much worse
I have what appears to be organic psychotic mental illness and the resultant run through the mental health system and debt from that only made it worse. I was somewhat shunned by family for a while because they don't believe in mental illness. They either think it's demons or drug use.
And a lot of other family issues but I'm not getting into that again
I just quit drinking so maybe it'll get slightly better
It's almost always shitty childhood that makes people fucked up. Also about other people seeming stupid and slow, hashtag relatable except when it comes to my family. They're all pretty fucking smart. -
2017-04-02 at 7:40 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie I am paranoid on the internet. For instance, this girl followed me on twitter. Pics were cute, and she had a couple of them and even a video. My first thought was i am being catfished.
And you know maybe it's true, maybe not. But the girl was hot, but my brain says no but the rest of my body says yes. My body is ready, but not for the partyvan.
When 90% of your world lives online, it must be hard having to always look over your virtual shoulder. -
2017-04-02 at 7:41 PM UTC
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2017-04-02 at 8:02 PM UTCYou are juicebox?! I didn't know that.
Anyway, you are cool in my book. Keep it up. -
2017-04-02 at 8:05 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie It's almost always shitty childhood that makes people fucked up. Also about other people seeming stupid and slow, hashtag relatable except when it comes to my family. They're all pretty fucking smart.
Originally posted by Horatio Abernathy You are juicebox?! I didn't know that.
Anyway, you are cool in my book. Keep it up.
Thanks guys. It's nice having somewhere I can talk about it
I'll quit hijacking threads with it now -
2017-04-02 at 8:05 PM UTC
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2017-04-03 at 6:04 PM UTCHey this thread still works
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2017-04-04 at 2:54 AM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie I am paranoid on the internet. For instance, this girl followed me on twitter. Pics were cute, and she had a couple of them and even a video. My first thought was i am being catfished.
Shut up weirdo
And you know maybe it's true, maybe not. But the girl was hot, but my brain says no but the rest of my body says yes. My body is ready, but not for the partyvan. -
2017-04-04 at 2:56 AM UTC