2024-04-13 at 1:57 AM UTC
What are your thoughts on killing yourself?
Have you ever attempted to kill yourself?
Do you think something bad happens to people who kill themselves?
If you are one of those people who consider it, how would you do it?
Why haven't you done it yet?
I personally have had suicidal thoughts most of my life, beginning when I was probably about seven or eight years old, they really peaked when I was 23 and the love of my life left me after six or seven years and I struggled to handle it. I was gonna just dome her and then dome myself but I was like woah bud that's wayyy too crazy so I just became really depressed.
A lot of it has to do with my drinking, I think. When I'm depressed & then I drink on top of it, I get really really depressed and after ra long enough period fo time I start feeling suicidal. Most recently over the last summer I thought I was gonna end up going totally blind so I told myself when I couldn't shitpost, read, text, or see my dick I was gonna fill my pockets full of rocks and go into the canals all over the city and just drift down into the ocean. I really liked the idea of that, felt it kinda romantic and felt attached to the idea. But when I stop drinking for a couple weeks/months that feeling really goes away.
I'm sad a bunch of my friends killed themselves at one point or another, but a couple of my enemies did too which I ain't gonna lie I was happy about it. Not sure if that makes me a bad person or just a regular person.
I'm happy I can still read and shit, my visions improved a bit (I think it's hard to be confidant cuz it's damage to the eyes and you adjust/accept the changes) but I can honestly say it's not getting worse. If it do tho, I probably kill myself.
The older I get the less I feel desire to take anyone else with me, even my ops, and I just would prefer to go out with quiet dignity if I coudln't jack off or read or take care of myself. Hopefully that doesn't happen.
How about you? You gonna kill yourself soon?
2024-04-13 at 2:34 AM UTC
Iron Ree
African Astronaut
[my flyspeck near-blind refund]
I do drugs and engage in risky behavior and i'm not too worried about it
2024-04-13 at 2:39 AM UTC
Your anus has evidence of a recent sexual assault.
How does an anal exam work lol
Like there's no hymen or anything that's ruptured so I don't get it...
2024-04-13 at 3:12 AM UTC
Iron Ree
African Astronaut
[my flyspeck near-blind refund]
they just look REALLY close and finger it a bit to see if you blush
2024-04-13 at 3:12 AM UTC
Didn't you say like a week ago you don't do drugs and now you're saying you do drugs?
2024-04-16 at 1:04 PM UTC
More like when DONT I think about it...ðŸ˜
2024-04-16 at 2:32 PM UTC
Suicide has thoughts of me.
