Guys I got a huge problem now.

1. 2024-03-30 at 9:56 PM UTC

   #1
   

   Bradley Florida Man
   Whenever I eat popsicles, hot dogs, cucumbers, or bananas I just get so horny. I have to eat them on the toilet while I masturbate. THe people I live with are wondering why I take all these foods to the bathroom and I just start moaning and touching myself. I don't know if other people have this problem but it's just like when I put them in my mouth I put my other hand onto he back of my head and I just feel sooooo horny.
2. 2024-03-30 at 9:56 PM UTC

   #2
   

   Instigator Naturally Camouflaged [the staring tame crusher]

   Originally posted by Bradley Whenever I eat popsicles, hot dogs, cucumbers, or bananas I just get so horny. I have to eat them on the toilet while I masturbate. THe people I live with are wondering why I take all these foods to the bathroom and I just start moaning and touching myself. I don't know if other people have this problem but it's just like when I put them in my mouth I put my other hand onto he back of my head and I just feel sooooo horny.

3. 2024-03-30 at 9:56 PM UTC

   #3
   

   ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Black Hole
   *SHITTY THREAD ALERT*
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • Iron Ree
4. 2024-03-30 at 10:04 PM UTC

   #4
   

   Iron Ree African Astronaut [my flyspeck near-blind refund]
   just dont eat, problem solved
5. 2024-03-31 at 7:43 PM UTC

   #5
   

   Bradley Florida Man
   Folks today I had to cut up a pepperoni and just holding onto that sucker had me pulling on own pulleroni
6. 2024-03-31 at 7:50 PM UTC

   #6
   

   ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Black Hole

   Originally posted by Bradley Folks today I had to cut up a pepperoni and just holding onto that sucker had me pulling on own pulleroni

   
   What do carrots do?
7. 2024-03-31 at 7:57 PM UTC

   #7
   

   Bradley Florida Man
   nothin, fuck carrots literally
8. 2024-03-31 at 10:45 PM UTC

   #8
   

   infinityshock Black Hole

   Originally posted by Bradley Whenever I eat popsicles, hot dogs, cucumbers, or bananas I just get so horny. I have to eat them on the toilet while I masturbate. THe people I live with are wondering why I take all these foods to the bathroom and I just start moaning and touching myself. I don't know if other people have this problem but it's just like when I put them in my mouth I put my other hand onto he back of my head and I just feel sooooo horny.

   
   Check to see if you get the same reaction with a mans penis
9. 2024-03-31 at 11:06 PM UTC

   #9
   

   Bradley Florida Man
   I tried but the 2 gay people I live with don't speak any English and my Spanish isn't good enough to like flirt with them. I asked one if he wanted my sausage and he thanked me repeatedly and said he has plenty of food and gets food stamps and I wasl ike no my sausage and he said he understands I have extra sausage but he doesn't need any food from me.
   
   Not sure if he understood and was being polite, etc, you see.
10. 2024-04-01 at 1:19 AM UTC

    #10
    

    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Black Hole

    Originally posted by Bradley I tried but the 2 gay people I live with don't speak any English and my Spanish isn't good enough to like flirt with them. I asked one if he wanted my sausage and he thanked me repeatedly and said he has plenty of food and gets food stamps and I wasl ike no my sausage and he said he understands I have extra sausage but he doesn't need any food from me.
    
    Not sure if he understood and was being polite, etc, you see.

    
    Couldn't you have just pulled it out and pointed to it?
11. 2024-04-01 at 2:25 AM UTC

    #11
    

    infinityshock Black Hole

    Originally posted by Bradley I tried but the 2 gay people I live with don't speak any English and my Spanish isn't good enough to like flirt with them. I asked one if he wanted my sausage and he thanked me repeatedly and said he has plenty of food and gets food stamps and I wasl ike no my sausage and he said he understands I have extra sausage but he doesn't need any food from me.
    
    Not sure if he understood and was being polite, etc, you see.

    
    Use the universal sign language indicator: get naked, get on your knees, and splay your butt cheeks
12. 2024-04-01 at 12:42 PM UTC

    #12
    Charles Ex Machina Space Nigga

    Originally posted by infinityshock Use the universal sign language indicator: get naked, get on your knees, and splay your butt cheeks

    
    that could mean anything from a pro-bono prostate exam to getting drug shipments out of your ass.
13. 2024-04-01 at 12:43 PM UTC

    #13
    

    Iron Ree African Astronaut [my flyspeck near-blind refund]
    just dont be gay ez
    just don't be addicted to drugs
    judst dont be depressed
14. 2024-04-01 at 6:30 PM UTC

    #14
    

    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Black Hole

    Originally posted by Charles Ex Machina that could mean anything from a pro-bono prostate exam to getting drug shipments out of your ass.

    
    Or a tricky highlighter lid extraction.
15. 2024-04-01 at 6:33 PM UTC

    #15
    

    Bradley Florida Man
    people be like it's not gay to boof and then have turkey basters that smell like SHIT
16. 2024-04-01 at 7:19 PM UTC

    #16
    

    infinityshock Black Hole

    Originally posted by Charles Ex Machina that could mean anything from a pro-bono prostate exam to getting drug shipments out of your ass.

    
    Either way you're going to get your asshole pillaged
17. 2024-04-01 at 7:20 PM UTC

    #17
    

    infinityshock Black Hole

    Originally posted by Bradley people be like it's not gay to boof and then have turkey basters that smell like SHIT

    
    I know a chick who used a blender tamper on herself then returned it to the blender after her parents displeased her
18. 2024-04-02 at 2:15 PM UTC

    #18
    Charles Ex Machina Space Nigga

    Originally posted by infinityshock I know a chick who used a blender tamper on herself then returned it to the blender after her parents displeased her

    
    its always someone you know, wasnt it.
19. 2024-04-02 at 2:23 PM UTC

    #19
    

    infinityshock Black Hole

    Originally posted by Charles Ex Machina its always someone you know, wasnt it.

    
    The only way to travel
20. 2024-04-02 at 2:29 PM UTC

    #20
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by infinityshock I know a chick who used a blender tamper on herself then returned it to the blender after her parents displeased her

    
    Her dad probably said "I recognize this flavor!"