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Moving carers from Magician to cop

  1. #1
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    Been struggling as an armature magacian to make ends meet , i know a lot of tricks but im just not booking enough gigs these days and honestly while it is a passion of mine i have to be practical too and know when to shift gears, this is my comeback. The local prison is hiring jail-cops and honesty it appeals to me because i would get issued official green tuck-in shirts and army pants, and get to punish all the cons and yell at them to sit up straight, I SAID SIT STRAIGHT!! and a walky talky and pepperspray ,for tactical use

    ive seen on some shows like REAL CRIME, too, that its usually pretty easy because you can just go in the control room and read magazines most of the time after you make the cons shutup and go to there room

    who here has been a jail gaurd and what did you like most about it. also bonus points for anyone that had a con get lippy and how you handled the situation and came out on top too
  2. #2
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    armature magic
  3. #3
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    tactical magic
  4. #4
    Third Temple African Astronaut
    this is a joke, right?

    they don't make much I understand. starting is what 50k and it goes up to about 86k

    what prison. San Q?
  5. #5
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    wanna be a gaurd with me, if we refer eachother through the jail-recruiter, go through the same platoone and successfully compete 3 month in the cells block.. we can each get bonus-cash. also we get to write peer evaluations so if we go on together we can write up good rapports for eachother and no one will care if we do bad because we have eachothers backs and i said you did a good job, u say i did a good job etc etc
  6. #6
    infinityshock Black Hole
    i want to be a guard in a womens prison
  7. #7
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    Originally posted by infinityshock i want to be a guard in a womens prison

    sounds fun but probably too easy because they wont even cause that much trouble, and if they do all you do is ask them what the HELL is going on and they start crying and spill the beans, put em on lockdown and theyll apologize the next day.

    all in all i wouldnt blame you for doing it as a older man. you wouldnt even have to pepper spray them i bet
  8. #8
    Third Temple African Astronaut
    Originally posted by A College Professor wanna be a gaurd with me, if we refer eachother through the jail-recruiter, go through the same platoone and successfully compete 3 month in the cells block.. we can each get bonus-cash. also we get to write peer evaluations so if we go on together we can write up good rapports for eachother and no one will care if we do bad because we have eachothers backs and i said you did a good job, u say i did a good job etc etc

    not with my heart. You have to carry 45 pounds 100 yards in front of you at hip level. I would of had 0 problem with this just 4 or 5 years ago but I doubt I could do it now. doesn't sound like shit but another thing you have to do is get sprayed in the face with mace and pepper spray.

    hope you're down with that shit. lots of training with batons getting hit and having to endure that shit. normally i would find that comical as fuck since I grew up with all older brothers with "Watch the wall" and hitting each others with the edge of spatulas and or rolling pens on the arms, and hands and knuckles.

    but yeah.. Im almost 60 with issues. was actually considering this in 2015-2016
  9. #9
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by A College Professor sounds fun but probably too easy because they wont even cause that much trouble, and if they do all you do is ask them what the HELL is going on and they start crying and spill the beans, put em on lockdown and theyll apologize the next day.

    all in all i wouldnt blame you for doing it as a older man. you wouldnt even have to pepper spray them i bet

    not the reasoning i was going with

    my thought process was more along the lines of pussy in a submissive position combined with a cock in an authoritative position equals penis in vagina
  10. #10
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Third Temple not with my heart. You have to carry 45 pounds 100 yards in front of you at hip level. I would of had 0 problem with this just 4 or 5 years ago but I doubt I could do it now. doesn't sound like shit but another thing you have to do is get sprayed in the face with mace and pepper spray.

    hope you're down with that shit. lots of training with batons getting hit and having to endure that shit. normally i would find that comical as fuck since I grew up with all older brothers with "Watch the wall" and hitting each others with the edge of spatulas and or rolling pens on the arms, and hands and knuckles.

    but yeah.. Im almost 60 with issues. was actually considering this in 2015-2016

    45 pounds is nothing. i carry 80-pounds on a regular basis, multiple times. ususally ill use a cart, wheelbarrow, or hand truck but if i dont have one or the time to find one ill just carry the load. its good exercise.

    boot camp and tear gas was always a fun time...
  11. #11
    Third Temple African Astronaut
    Originally posted by infinityshock i want to be a guard in a womens prison

    they arrested a guard in Dublin Cali area for rapey rapey. or it was a Warden, I forget. I think the prison is famous for having female from Charlie Manson family and Weather Underground Susan Rosenberg

    I think its called Unicor or thats the companies name that runs it? its outside of Livermore near the Lab somewhere or not far off. FCI

    also Hurlong has an FCI. you can work up there and then help me build my place. most people work there doing something. Maybe I'll get a part time job mopping blood off the floor
  12. #12
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    Originally posted by Third Temple not with my heart. You have to carry 45 pounds 100 yards in front of you at hip level. I would of had 0 problem with this just 4 or 5 years ago but I doubt I could do it now. doesn't sound like shit but another thing you have to do is get sprayed in the face with mace and pepper spray.

    hope you're down with that shit. lots of training with batons getting hit and having to endure that shit. normally i would find that comical as fuck since I grew up with all older brothers with "Watch the wall" and hitting each others with the edge of spatulas and or rolling pens on the arms, and hands and knuckles.

    but yeah.. Im almost 60 with issues. was actually considering this in 2015-2016

    45 pounds isnt that much as im a strapping older man. if thats all i have to do is spray someone with pepper spray and carry a pile of bricks 100 yards i 'have this in the bag' heard. want to go training with me ill be like an instructor sargeant and yell at you while yo ucarry the bricks and ill blast you with pepper spray in preperation for theyre test.

    they call it the TRAIL OF TEARS, a final climactic event which determines if you make it or break it or just let it slip
  13. #13
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Third Temple they arrested a guard in Dublin Cali area for rapey rapey. or it was a Warden, I forget. I think the prison is famous for having female from Charlie Manson family and Weather Underground Susan Rosenberg

    I think its called Unicor or thats the companies name that runs it? its outside of Livermore near the Lab somewhere or not far off. FCI

    also Hurlong has an FCI. you can work up there and then help me build my place. most people work there doing something. Maybe I'll get a part time job mopping blood off the floor

    obviously that was going to happen. they shouldnt have expected anything else. when men are in an authoritative position over women the only natural thing that happens is they fuck.

    thats how its been for the last 4.5 billion years...its evolution
  14. #14
    Third Temple African Astronaut
    Originally posted by infinityshock 45 pounds is nothing. i carry 80-pounds on a regular basis, multiple times. ususally ill use a cart, wheelbarrow, or hand truck but if i dont have one or the time to find one ill just carry the load. its good exercise.

    boot camp and tear gas was always a fun time…

    If I had to save someones life I could throw them over my shoulder and walk the 100 yards but I would have breathing problems and skippy heart shit troubles because of my lungs and heart is a bit tweak right now. I'd have to ask my cardiologist what he would think first.
  15. #15
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by A College Professor 45 pounds isnt that much as im a strapping older man. if thats all i have to do is spray someone with pepper spray and carry a pile of bricks 100 yards i 'have this in the bag' heard. want to go training with me ill be like an instructor sargeant and yell at you while yo ucarry the bricks and ill blast you with pepper spray in preperation for theyre test.

    they call it the TRAIL OF TEARS, a final climactic event which determines if you make it or break it or just let it slip

    underwhelming.

    when i was in boot camp that might have been an ordeal. now...i'd be bored and needing my phone so i could send random texts and watch catburger videos.
  16. #16
    Third Temple African Astronaut
    Originally posted by A College Professor 45 pounds isnt that much as im a strapping older man. if thats all i have to do is spray someone with pepper spray and carry a pile of bricks 100 yards i 'have this in the bag' heard. want to go training with me ill be like an instructor sargeant and yell at you while yo ucarry the bricks and ill blast you with pepper spray in preperation for theyre test.

    they call it the TRAIL OF TEARS, a final climactic event which determines if you make it or break it or just let it slip

    someone else asked me if Id be into that when I got my guard card. I thought it was kind of gay but if thats what it took back then that was 2012

    I got some pepper spray. the hottest it gets. Ill bbe more than happy to spray you in the face if you want. i'll bring milk too. :D
  17. #17
    Third Temple African Astronaut
    Originally posted by infinityshock underwhelming.

    when i was in boot camp that might have been an ordeal. now…i'd be bored and needing my phone so i could send random texts and watch catburger videos.

    Hes only im his 20s.. my brother told me when I hit 60 shit will start to change and I laughed because that was like 2-3 years ago but then realized im just now wearing down. it hits you fast.

    when I was his age I was riding bikes 30-40 miles I'd go ride around a large reservoir up and down hills and up into tilden park. all the way up into close to 40. and I would hike 8 miles or more in a day. 4-5 miles in and back out. then when I hit 40 i started to notice I couldn't go as far.

    you have to be fit young because a lot of these fucking 20 year olds are puffy fucks they're not going to live to be 50
  18. #18
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Third Temple If I had to save someones life I could throw them over my shoulder and walk the 100 yards but I would have breathing problems and skippy heart shit troubles because of my lungs and heart is a bit tweak right now. I'd have to ask my cardiologist what he would think first.

    personal experience...the easiest way is to grab their ankles and latch them just above the hip bone and drag them like a travois. social grace would say do it face-up but if the scenario is die in a fire or get dragged through the dirt and have to pick it out of ones teeth and nostrils for six months...im fairly sure no one would object.

    he had all kinds of drags and carries in the military...they were all stupid, unless it was a 6'4" hulk shoulder-carrying a 4'11" anorexic girl. almost related...i had a little girl crying in boot camp when we were doing belaying because she didnt think i could catch her fall. the funny part was she didnt realize i was one of three of the best in shape of that entire graduating class.
  19. #19
    infinityshock Black Hole
    Originally posted by Third Temple Hes only im his 20s.. my brother told me when I hit 60 shit will start to change and I laughed because that was like 2-3 years ago but then realized im just now wearing down. it hits you fast.

    when I was his age I was riding bikes 30-40 miles I'd go ride around a large reservoir up and down hills and up into tilden park. all the way up into close to 40. and I would hike 8 miles or more in a day. 4-5 miles in and back out. then when I hit 40 i started to notice I couldn't go as far.

    you have to be fit young because a lot of these fucking 20 year olds are puffy fucks they're not going to live to be 50

    when i play paintball there are only about 2 or 3 kids (late teens) that can keep up with my running and maneuvering. side note...niggers are funny...for as alleged good shape as they think theyre in they have no running/maneuvering skills.

    my girl is a fraction of my age...im literally older than her father...and she cant keep up with me physically (running...hiking...walking) or sexually. and im not even trying.

    the closest ive ever had to competition is an ex who would do iron-mans but i could still keep up with her jogging. im not runnin' no 26 mile marathons then riding for 100 something miles...then swimming god only knows how far. fuck that nonsense. and i would still out-fuck her
  20. #20
    ive seen cop that turned into a magician in seconds as he turned a bad negroe into a good negroe.
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