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Stolen Valor : Speedy Parker edition

  1. #41
    Ghost Black Hole
    Look at this man saving the forum

    giving a fuck when it's not his turn to give a fuck

    truly an example

  2. #42
    curlyKellen Tuskegee Airman
    Fukn bowl of piss
  3. #43
    curlyKellen Tuskegee Airman
    I rebuke your soul
  4. #44
    curlyKellen Tuskegee Airman
    Fuckin snotrag
  5. #45
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    None of that scared me
  6. #46
    curlyKellen Tuskegee Airman
    Fuckin dweeb
  7. #47
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by curlyKellen Fuckin dweeb

    ooooo good one...


    what else ya got...
  8. #48
    Justice for curlyKellen!!
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  9. #49
    Bradley Black Hole
    Folks I talked to an entire grenadine family and all confirmed no ugly ass half nose named speedy parker was involved.


    Folks they say they would anyone who fought in their country of "Granada" as ugly as Douglas Dennison
  10. #50
    Doug can repel invaders just by looking at them.
  11. #51
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Doug can repel invaders just by looking at them.

    This has been documented
  12. #52
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker This has been documented

    to have the repellent force of 3 ton of human feceses.
  13. #53
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    It pisses me off when some poncy jedi, like Alex Vindman, goes on about getting a purple heart. John Kerry, collected a bunch of them too.

    Ask yourself where military medals come from? Someone has to write up what you did and notify the command structure about it. The more you get written up, the more medals you collect. You can also write yourself up, and apply for the medal yourself.

    So with purple hearts you write a letter about how you were hurt while also being somewhere in the general vicinity of combat, and they return one in the mail.

    That's literally it. You apply for the medal yourself. There is no lower bound to the injury you receive. You can be frightened by a thrown turd, stub your toe, and you're still entitled to a purple heart.

    Shit, if not for my bone spurs keeping me out of the heat I'd have a dozen of them right now.
  14. #54
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Real purple hearts are different than Kerry's. Enlisted and NCOs eran theirs. So no you wouldn't have any unless you were actually wounded in combat.
  15. #55
    i always thought purple hearts are like insults.
  16. #56
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker Real purple hearts are different than Kerry's. Enlisted and NCOs eran theirs. So no you wouldn't have any unless you were actually wounded in combat.

    They are not different. You can't even define "wounded".
  17. #57
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    https://www.hrc.army.mil/content/Purple%20Heart

    Here's the application form in case anyone doesn't believe me. You can apply for it yourself. Shit, next time I'm president/commander in chief I might apply for a few myself.

    Examples of enemy-related injuries which clearly justify award of the Purple Heart are as follows:

    Injury caused by enemy bullet, shrapnel, or other projectile created by enemy action
    Injury caused by enemy placed mine or trap
    Injury caused by enemy released chemical, biological, or nuclear agent
    Injury caused by vehicle or aircraft accident resulting from enemy fire
    Concussion injuries caused as a result of enemy generated explosions
    Mild traumatic brain injury or concussive severe enough to cause either loss of consciousness or restriction from full duty due to persistent signs, symptoms, or clinical finding, or impaired brain functions for a period greater than 48 hours from the time of the concussive incident.
    Perforated Eardrum (ruptured tympanic membrane)

    Not all heroes wear capes.
  18. #58
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    The statutory time limits pertaining to award of military decorations does not apply to the PH. The PH may be awarded at anytime after submission of documented proof that criteria have been met.

    Speedy you should grab a few.
  19. #59
    Originally posted by Donald Trump Speedy you should grab a few.

    he did but because he was injured while serving in the secret invasion of granada, the medals had to be handed out in secret in undisclosed location and retracted once the ceremony was over.
  20. #60
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by Donald Trump Speedy you should grab a few.

    I don't want anything I didn't earn or deserve.
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