User Controls

Nonviolent Prison Survival Tips

  1. #1
    The police are threatening to frame me. I'm skinny as a twig. How do you make it in prison/jail without fighting?
  2. #2
    Xlite African Astronaut
    Find yourself a master and allow him to molest you for protection.
  3. #3
    Buy a lot of jelly at the commissary as they call it and grease.yourselef up so no one can grab on you very good

    You will slip right away and any punches will just glance off you
  4. #4
    Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
    OP is Filtration
  5. #5
    Find the biggest guy there and challenge him to a game of lucky hit
  6. #6
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Aleister Crowley OP is Filtration

    he's fat though
  7. #7
    Um aldra wit's gonna happen with zewlensky
  8. #8
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by I Live In Your Crawlspace Secretly4 Um aldra wit's gonna happen with zewlensky

    bad thing probably

    hard nationalists keep pushing him into retarded policies and they're probably going to kill him when it all comes down

    either that or he flees, assuming he hasn't already
  9. #9
    Heard
  10. #10
    Sudo Dark Matter [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Sharpen your penis to a point
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  11. #11
    Kafka African Astronaut
    Piece of razor blade glued to your fingernail. If there is a fight go for the biggest bully.
  12. #12
    RIPtotse African Astronaut [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Originally posted by Kafka Piece of razor blade glued to your fingernail. If there is a fight go for the biggest bully.

    Horrible advice, you've obviously never done time.



    Keep to yourself. Will you be going to prison or just jail? Save up money for lawyer fees and commissary..as Waka said, they ain't gonna pay themselves.

    Get a hustle, and don't be a rat/chomo. And under no circumstances should you accept a gift from anyone unless you've known them for a whiiiile. Make sure u extort the chomos too, it's easy money.

    Basically don't be a faggot rat chomo bitch and you'll prolly ve fine. Oh also do not run w a gang or anything retarded like that. Keep to yourself and read/eat/workout everyday all day.


    I actually remember my incarceration fondly. I'd still be a homeless junky or dead if I didn't go do my 12 months.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  13. #13
    Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
    He can be a prison prag like Wariat:




    FUYS!
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  14. #14
    Pre-stretch your asshole
  15. #15
    Haxxor Houston [the tasteful cracker-barrel kalapooia]
    Don’t allow your face to be rubbed on the cum & bacteria ridden shower floor
  16. #16
    Sudo Dark Matter [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Me and mmq are the only GEN POP inmates here and we recommend just not being a weird faggot. Be resourceful and use whatever is at your disposal. Assume everyone is out to get you but talk to them anyway and cultivate relationships. Act adversarially to the guards whenever you can and be an honorable man. If someone disrespects you then overreact and use a weapon if you have to. Don't have an ego and do your own time focusing on yourself and your future
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  17. #17
    Haxxor Houston [the tasteful cracker-barrel kalapooia]
    Originally posted by Sudo Me and mmq are the only GEN POP inmates here

    Wrong
  18. #18
    RIPtotse African Astronaut [my adversative decurved garbo]
    I don't fuck with u if ur not gen pop.
  19. #19
    Haxxor Houston [the tasteful cracker-barrel kalapooia]
    We’re all gen pop here
  20. #20
    Sudo Dark Matter [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by RIPtotse I don't fuck with u if ur not gen pop.

    No disrespect I assumed you were not because you posted about being on a range with sex offenders before but there are sex offenders in every institution at the federal level here. In my county though guards will "double door" people and purposely allow sex offenders to walk through the halls with gen pop and encourage inmates to beat on them. At the federal level they're protected by the institution because they require the least maintenance as inmates. They need to be treated worse
Jump to Top