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Nonviolent Prison Survival Tips

  1. #41
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Alright. Go ahead and eat boogers, if that's what you really want.

    Yep. So so true. Too true. EVERY TRAY OF FOOD is absolutely JAM PACKED full of BOOGERS AND CUM AND SHIT. And dooooont bend over whatever you do. Ever! If you bend over even once, at LEAST ten muscle bound black men will INSTANTLY come rape you for days on end!!
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #42
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Real men's 1time holding it down
  3. #43
    Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
    Just ate two big bars of white chocolate and now have a fucking headache, what gives?
  4. #44
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Aleister Crowley Just ate two big bars of white chocolate and now have a fucking headache, what gives?

    I get that somwtimes too. Spiking your insulin and shit prob
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. #45
    Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Sudo I get that somwtimes too. Spiking your insulin and shit prob

    Yeah I seldom eat chocolate and don't have sugar so that's probably it.
  6. #46
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Aleister Crowley Just ate two big bars of white chocolate and now have a fucking headache, what gives?

    I just went out of my way and asked Dr. Chockenstein for you, and this is what he said:

    Cart

    OCTOBER 22, 2019
    Can Chocolate Give You Headaches?
    Can Chocolate Give You Headaches?
    Can Chocolate Give You Headaches?
    What could be better than chocolate? Chocolate has been a favorite snack of many for thousands of years. Unfortunately, for some people a nice chocolate treat can result in an uncomfortable headache.

    Cocoa beans come from a fruit tree, and it takes about 400 beans to make a single pound of chocolate. There are more than 600 flavor compounds in chocolate, which makes it a delicious treat. The chocolate we eat and love today was actually invented in 1847 and combined cocoa butter with sugar. But why does this amazing food cause headaches, and should you worry about eating chocolate?

    Can chocolate trigger a headache?

    There are some aspects of chocolate that can bring about a headache. Various chemicals and components of chocolate may be triggers for headaches, and chocolate can cause reactions in the body which may lead to pain. The possibility is slim, though, and there are some people who may be at a higher risk for this than others.

    Phenylalanine and tyramine

    If you love dark chocolate but frequently experience headaches, tyramine may be to blame. The chemical tyramine is found in dark chocolate, and it may trigger migraine headaches. In fact, people who suffer from migraines on a regular basis are more prone to experience headaches when eating chocolate. Diets with a high fat content, including fat from chocolate, can cause serious side effects for migraine patients.

    Phenylalanine is another component found in chocolate that may trigger migraines. A study conducted by the University of California Nutrition Bytes found that migraine-prone subjects experienced migraines triggered by chocolate. While the results are not conclusive, there is a suspected connection between chocolate consumption and headaches, especially for people prone to migraines.

    If you suspect chocolate may be triggering your migraines or headaches, keep a food log. This can help you track personal triggers that bring about your migraines. Write down the foods you eat and when to compare to the times you have migraines. You may also be able to handle chocolate in small quantities.
  7. #47
    Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
    It was white chocolate, fam
  8. #48
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Aleister Crowley It was white chocolate, fam

    Dr. Chockenstein said that white chocolate also contains the same headache-inducing chemicals as other chocolates.
  9. #49
    Aleister Crowley African Astronaut
    I had a wank it's now subsiding
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  10. #50
    Originally posted by mmQ …And dooooont bend over whatever you do. Ever! If you bend over even once, at LEAST ten muscle bound black men will INSTANTLY come rape you for days on end!!

    That's why soap-on-a-rope is a must-have in there.
  11. #51
    Do prison usually give you a bath tub or a shower or a tub/shower
  12. #52
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by I Live In Your Crawlspace Secretly4 Do prison usually give you a bath tub or a shower or a tub/shower

    Jizzcuzzi
  13. #53
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Originally posted by I Live In Your Crawlspace Secretly4 Do prison usually give you a bath tub or a shower or a tub/shower

    Yah a jacuzzi, its usually on the the top floor of whatever building your in and that's where the suite is where all the judges/lawyers/cops that fucked you over are partying and doing cocaine.
  14. #54
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by Sudo I hate whistling so fucking much. I can vividly recall being at a gym and showering in a stall while someone whistled "the ants go marching" and how furious that made me I was audibly cursing and had to leave my shower early because of it

    That song is actually called "When Johnny Comes Marching Home".



    Only little kids and faggots think it is called "The Ants go Marching".

  15. #55
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker That song is actually called "When Johnny Comes Marching Home".



    Only little kids and faggots think it is called "The Ants go Marching".


    Did you just "actually" and "only" the fucking ants go marching? You are a next level atomic dying faggot. The song is SUPER ACTUALLY called "Johnny I hardly knew ya" by the dropkick Murphys.

    Do you have at least a passing awareness of how much of a dirty and dumb old rat faced faggot you are? Why do you breathe?
  16. #56
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Like did your self awareness dissipate along with your left nostril? Are you hikki's real father?
  17. #57
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by Sudo Did you just "actually" and "only" the fucking ants go marching? You are a next level atomic dying faggot. The song is SUPER ACTUALLY called "Johnny I hardly knew ya" by the dropkick Murphys.

    Do you have at least a passing awareness of how much of a dirty and dumb old rat faced faggot you are? Why do you breathe?

    When Johnny Comes Marching Home, was written in 1863 by an Irish-American called Patrick Gilmore
  18. #58
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Imagine going to prison for the crimes you've committed. Also OP what were you doing that made the police wanna frame your ass?
  19. #59
    Become a fag so you won't be raped but instead will acquire a possessive and protective prison boyfriend
  20. #60
    Rape yourself before anyone else can rape you
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