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Fona's Fucking Lancer Part II

  1. #81
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    Bought a new air enhancement for $21.49
    Went ahead and took out the MAF sensor again and sprayed it down the best I could.
    I had the battery disconnected and kept locking my tools in the truck which doesn't have a handle or anyway to open (or so I thought) but then I found a release lever by the seat.
    Ran like shit then ran okay and started to run kinda shitty again.
    I didn't give it time to relearn any fuel codes so I went ahead and disconnected the battery again and will hook it back up before I leave for work and let it run for a few minutes.
  2. #82
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    $1500 - car
    $70 - tags and registration
    $160 - insurance
    $60 - mechanic (who didn't fix it)
    $100 - 2 tires
    $5 - tip
    MAF Cleaner and 4 way - $25.17
    MAF sensor - $48.32
    Air enhancement - $21.49
    ---------------------------
    Total cost of owning a Lancer so far $1,989.98
  3. #83
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker
    1. Tell Auto Zone you will sell them one for half price.
    2. Buy two from Amazon for $90.
    3. Sell one to Auto Zone for $45.
    4. ???
    5. Profit

    autozone pays 10 for one, and sells it for 90.

    amazon pays 8 for one. sells it for 45.

  4. #84
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    Lancer seems to be running good now.
    Idle seems right where it should be.
    Perhaps I got it fixed.
  5. #85
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    Got the new MAF sensor a few days earlier than expected.
    I'm going to go put it on and see if it helps out at all.
  6. #86
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    I hooked everything up but I'm leaving the battery disconnected until time to leave for work.
    Won't know if the new MAF sensor helps until then.
  7. #87
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny autozone pays 10 for one, and sells it for 90.

    amazon pays 8 for one. sells it for 45.


    ^no car

  8. #88
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    I hooked the battery up and immediately tried going to work completely forgetting to let the car relearn it's fuel codes which left me stuck in first gear and eventually blocking an apartment entrance where I had tried turning around.
    Couldn't get it to start again so I began swapping the old part back on when 2 fire trucks pulled up and proceeded to heckle me with offers of manliness all while shaming me and my Lancer.
    After telling them to fuck their dicks I finished swapping the old MAF sensor back on and made it to work with the car running alright.
    Just repeated the process here in the parking lot and will hook the battery up on break and next time give it the opportunity to relearn it's codes.
  9. #89
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Why do you keep unhooking the battery?
  10. #90
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker ^no car


    no brain

  11. #91
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny no brain


    Then it's good thing you don't drive
  12. #92
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker Then it's good thing you don't drive

    its a good thing you do.
  13. #93
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    Well attempt #2 failed as spectacularly as attempt #1.

    I unplug the battery so it can relearn the fuel trim each time I replace the MAF sensor.

    I got the old one plugged back in but the car still runs like shit.
    Even shittier in fact.

    I hope I can make it home tonight.
  14. #94
    AngryIVer African Astronaut [my jade controlled morrigan]
    Originally posted by Fonaplats I hooked the battery up and immediately tried going to work completely forgetting to let the car relearn it's fuel codes which left me stuck in first gear and eventually blocking an apartment entrance where I had tried turning around.
    Couldn't get it to start again so I began swapping the old part back on when 2 fire trucks pulled up and proceeded to heckle me with offers of manliness all while shaming me and my Lancer.
    After telling them to fuck their dicks I finished swapping the old MAF sensor back on and made it to work with the car running alright.
    Just repeated the process here in the parking lot and will hook the battery up on break and next time give it the opportunity to relearn it's codes.

    And this is where the story clearly becomes bullshit. There's no way you told two fire trucks trying to respond to a fire to fuck off without getting thrown in jail and having your piece of shit impounded. None. Zero. Just simply not how firemen work. They'll smash a window and run a hose right through your car if you're in the way of the hydrant, I doubt they'd hesitate to get your car towed.



    Originally posted by Fonaplats Well attempt #2 failed as spectacularly as attempt #1.

    I unplug the battery so it can relearn the fuel trim each time I replace the MAF sensor.

    I got the old one plugged back in but the car still runs like shit.
    Even shittier in fact.

    I hope I can make it home tonight.

    That's because it's not the MAF sensor and never was.
  15. #95
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    I never said there was a fire. They were just driving around picking on Lancer owners.

    My OBD II Scanner said it was the MAF Sensor but I don't think I'm getting the fuel trim right because the back pressure is fucked up because the catalytic is fucked.
  16. #96
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    Some dirt bag offered me $1500 for the Lancer. I told him I couldn't go that low right now.
    For $1500 I'd rather just give it away.
  17. #97
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    Someone offered $2400 for it.
    If they come out and want it tomorrow I will take it.
  18. #98
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    Reset the fuel trim twice today.
    Right now Ive got it running about as good as I can hope.
  19. #99
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by Fonaplats Someone offered $2400 for it.
    If they come out and want it tomorrow I will take it.

    At this point take $2k if you can get it
  20. AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
    Take the money and run.And don't do it again used cars suck the life out of you.
    I hate them.
    Used car lots are the absolute lowest of the shit tier low I will never work for another one EVER!
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