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My son is the coolest kid in the world

  1. #1
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Despite being barely one year old he is already able to climb and repell down tall buildings. Yesterday he went on a date with the pop star known as Ke$ha and returned home early because he found the slurring of her words after a few drinks distasteful. He took apart my MacBook and put it back together with a better fan the other day.

    He can also make dreamcatchers that, upon awakening, can be used to replay your dream with lucidity. Broke my arm this morning when I tried to shake his hand. I'm under the impression it was because I didn't get him food fast enough but trust me, even with one arm I won't make the same mistake again.

    Just letting yall know the paradigm you will soon be confronted by
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  2. #2
    WellHung Black Hole (banned)
    Every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example, not his advice.
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  3. #3
    Sophie's Girl Yung Blood
    Originally posted by Sudo Despite being barely one year old he is already able to climb and repell down tall buildings. Yesterday he went on a date with the pop star known as Ke$ha and returned home early because he found the slurring of her words after a few drinks distasteful. He took apart my MacBook and put it back together with a better fan the other day.

    He can also make dreamcatchers that, upon awakening, can be used to replay your dream with lucidity. Broke my arm this morning when I tried to shake his hand. I'm under the impression it was because I didn't get him food fast enough but trust me, even with one arm I won't make the same mistake again.

    Just letting yall know the paradigm you will soon be confronted by

    This is so fucking gay I want to punch your son in the mouth.
  4. #4
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Sophie's Girl This is so fucking gay I want to punch your son in the mouth.

    Too bad you don't have the testicular fortitude to fight a 1 year old. My son would torture you until you invent a new way to apologize
  5. #5
    POLECAT POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret [my presentably immunised ammonification]
    being a short faggot don't make him cool
  6. #6
    cigreting Dark Matter
    is your bitches kid that you finance as cool
  7. #7
    Incessant African Astronaut
    Originally posted by WellHung Every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example, not his advice.

    I am so ready for this
  8. #8
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by POLECAT being a short faggot don't make him cool

    He was in the 95th percentile in height and 130th in penis size



    Originally posted by cigreting is your bitches kid that you finance as cool

    I don't "finance" him but he's also extremely fucking cool. He is ubiquely funny and mischievous and loves the outdoors and music and painting. Thank you for asking



    Originally posted by Incessant I am so ready for this

    Did you have a good Dad? What's that like? Describe his mustache
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  9. #9
    G African Astronaut
    Has to be fiction as OP doesn't copulate.
  10. #10
    Originally posted by Sudo and 130th in penis size

    Out of how many? 131?
  11. #11
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Out of how many? 131?

    They had to invent new percentiles to capture its magnitude. I think I already made a thread about his abnormally large balls
  12. #12
    It's good that you are proud of your son, it will make the disappointment of the teenage years a little easier.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  13. #13
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson It's good that you are proud of your son, it will make the disappointment of the teenage years a little easier.

    He's already shaving and full of testosterone so I can only imagine what that will entail
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  14. #14
    He sounds just like a chip off the old block
  15. #15
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    He is barely a year and literally 33 inches tall.

    According to my mathz At this rate he will be 8 feet tall before he's 4 years old
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  16. #16
    is your sons name stewie.
  17. #17
  18. #18
    Bradley Black Hole
    OP is a good man who deserves noble sons of high repute.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  19. #19
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    I honestly haven't seen my son cry in probably 2 months, I'm not even sure he cried before that, it's just the last two months I've been really looking for those tears. He has emotions and anger but he never actually cries which is pretty crazy. I think he's somehow chechan
  20. #20
    Gay
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