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Fona 2-23-2021

  1. #1
    BeeReBuddy African Astronaut [pimp your due marabout]
    Oh man oh man oh man.
    I got the anxiety you guys.
    It has been so long since I left the house I wouldn't be surprised if my car won't start.
    Not having a job is stressful.

    Today I have a couple of goals.
    Goal #1 is yesterday's goal which was to finish my taxes.
    Yea... I didn't do that yesterday.
    Goal #2 is to go to Walmart and buy extra small tighty whities to hold my fetish piss securely along with some duct tape for extra measure.
    Goal #3 will be to find something else to throw in that shopping cart in hopes of not looking too suspect.

    Yesterday I was doing practice runs of synthetically pissing and I had one instance where the botte of fake pee fell out of my pants leg. That cannot happen during the actual mission.

    Something I need to start practicing is controlling the temperature of the piss because I do not want to be caught trying to cool down my piss by blowing on it during the drug test.

    And I am still afraid the cap will open while the entire thing is tucked in my pants and I will look like a god damn piss covered idiot.

    The silence of being alone in the apartment all day is going to add to my anxiety.
    As much as I wish I could stay home and play video games for 24 hours straight I cannot as it gives me an overwhelming feeling of "probably going to jail".

    I thought about buying another fake piss and going to get more jobs so that I can use probability as a back up plan.

    With modern science and the invention of the internet I am able to search for possible employers and find out what type of drug testing they do. Sometimes anyways...

    The real limiting factor will be knowing I am in the worst shape of my life and now I got to "fake it 'til I make it" starting all over again wherever it is I start.

    What are your first hand experiences with being a loser?
    I very much would like to hear from some of you on how you seemingly don't care that you're a piece of shit.
  2. #2
    Antifa Member African Astronaut
    I read the whole thing but I wish I didn't.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. #3
    STER0S African Astronaut [the disappointingly unanticipated slab]
    you better pray the lab your piss is being sent to isnt able detect it's not real piss.
  4. #4
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    lol opie you're going to fuck this up if you don't take my advice I've been on adult supervision for a total of 8 years and passed my piss test just by drinking a gallon of water before going in because you're pissing just water

    ive heard about using gelatin working to clog up your kidneys but I never attempted that because I know my method works but the gelatin works well. And common are serioiusly going to use fake piss? Sounds really dump arnie.

    ahah i knew this one guy that tried to do that and the fake piss while he was waiting ent up running down his leg, just seems like a really bad idea. I wouldn't risk something like that, whats the worst that can happen you don't get hired? Don't you have a script for your weed anyways?

    Is this another one of your false outrageous ?
  5. #5
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    I got a stupid job almost a year ago just like what you're applying for and I just didn't smoke for a few days and drank a gallon of water before going in and everything was fine.

    what the doctor was concerened about was I was shaking really bad and my blood pressure was through the roof, she just was like "you must be nervous" and I was like "yeaaah.. thats it... lol"

    dont be stupid arnie, just drink the water, you don't have money for new briefs and fake piss
  6. #6
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by STER0S you better pray the lab your piss is being sent to isnt able detect it's not real piss.

    they have the lab there where he's doing his physical, they wont check into it further unless he comes up as a positive.

    But like I've already said he should just drink a gallon of water so he's pissing clean, he doesn't need to spend money on fake urine thats a scam.

    fake piss is for idiots that like to spend money on something they don't need, and who cares if he pisses dirty his weed is legal according to him
  7. #7
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    My main concern now is the fact I am still laying naked in bed and it is almost noon.
  8. #8
    Solstice African Astronaut
    If you sample is too hot just swish it in your mouth for a second and spit it back into the cup, it will cool it down faster
  9. #9
    BeeReBuddy African Astronaut [pimp your due marabout]
    My internet is too slow for me to procrastinate playing video games all day.
    I am dressed and ready to go out an get stuff done.
    Not looking forward to going into Walmart. I hope they have self check out open.
    There is little else to do today.
    Still haven't touched my taxes.
    I tried using free tax website but it says that because I have an HSA account that I need to pay them $25 and use their DELUXE version.
    Im not even sure where all my tax forms are but does it really matter if I don't file the Robinhood part that says I made $6 in the stock market last year?
  10. #10
    Ghost Black Hole
    Originally posted by STER0S you better pray the lab your piss is being sent to isnt able detect it's not real piss.

    of course they are gonna be able to tell. You are supposed to use piss from school children or daycares.

    This is like the retards that use a pregnant womans piss for a drug test and say "you don't have any drugs in your system but according to this you are at the second trimester"

    Might as well just use fucking apple juice. Also i'm pretty sure if they detect fake piss it counts as a fail

    This is what happens when you're a faggot that plays with piss. You should move somewhere where you don't have to pass a drug test to be a fucking janitor.
  11. #11
    cigreting Space Nigga
    ive used fake piss several times and its worked every time
  12. #12
    BeeReBuddy African Astronaut [pimp your due marabout]
    Originally posted by cigreting ive used fake piss several times and its worked every time

    How do you do it?
  13. #13
    Ghost Black Hole
    Originally posted by cigreting ive used fake piss several times and its worked every time

    i don't believe that for one second. Any lab would be able to tell. It's literally just water, food coloring and ammonia
  14. #14
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    Im here at walmart.
    About to go in and not look suspect.
    Unfortunately I waited until the local school let out and there are kids everywhere.
  15. #15
    Ghost Black Hole
    Originally posted by Fonaplats Im here at walmart.
    About to go in and not look suspect.
    Unfortunately I waited until the local school let out and there are kids everywhere.

    what are you stealing? Childrens piss?
  16. #16
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]


    Felt odd about my cart contents so I went ahead and bought a light bulb and some denture adhesive.
  17. #17
    Solstice African Astronaut
    You wear dentures?
  18. #18
    G African Astronaut
    You know damn well you prefer Shell to be gumming your shit lol.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  19. #19
    Ghost Black Hole
    Originally posted by Fonaplats

    Felt odd about my cart contents so I went ahead and bought a light bulb and some denture adhesive.

    should have got some pseudoephedrine too
  20. #20
    Wariat Black Hole
    where do you even buy fake piss? some sex or fetish shop?
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