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Will I die if I kill myself?

  1. #1
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    I wanna kill myself but I dont want my friends and familia to be sad so I dont want to actually die. I just wanna kill myself so I dont have to have responsibilities any more but I want to not die so people think I'm still alive or whatever. Is there a workaround here? Maybe if I freeze myself to death my family would be like it's ok hes not dead hes just frozen he'll be back, we arent sad because hes just frozen. Then also I dont have to go to work anymore because I'm frozen.

    That's what I'll do. Thanks.
  2. #2
    Your best bet is to make yourself seem like you vanished without a trace, by leaving a map of the Bahamas or the West Indies behind. People will put two and two together quickly. Then just jump into an abandoned well or something.
  3. #3
    I'm going to defer to SpectraL on this one, he's good at dealing with these matters.
  4. #4
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    only if you do it right
  5. #5
    Robert Mugabe African Astronaut
    I'd do a unabomber but not bomb people.
  6. #6
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Kill someone who hurts children or animals, then you'll be in prison and they'll be like "dam he's a bretty Kool guy 4 doin dat" then if you hang yourself by a bedsheet later they'll be like "Kool, we understand, now we dont have to put money on his books and drive upstate to see him. What a nice guy"

    It's basically a win/win/win that any trained therapist would tell you to do. That's why you came to this site with this quandary
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  7. #7
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Sudo Kill someone who hurts children or animals, then you'll be in prison and they'll be like "dam he's a bretty Kool guy 4 doin dat" then if you hang yourself by a bedsheet later they'll be like "Kool, we understand, now we dont have to put money on his books and drive upstate to see him. What a nice guy"

    It's basically a win/win/win that any trained therapist would tell you to do. That's why you came to this site with this quandary

    I've thought about this. if you're not going to live for yourself and don't feel like you can add something worthwhile to the world, why not dedicate yourself to removing the things that disgust you?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  8. #8
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Robert Mugabe I'd do a unabomber but not bomb people.

    Just write letters and live in the woods? That sounds uncomfortable.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  9. #9
    Like those idiots who go shoot up a school. What did kids ever do to anyone? Why take out your life's frustrations on children? Just goes to prove how they're all really false flags, strictly for political spin. A person who's really frustrated with the system would logically take out deserving targets, and they probably do, but we never get to hear about it.
  10. #10
    Meikai Heck This Schlong
    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Like those idiots who go shoot up a school. What did kids ever do to anyone? Why take out your life's frustrations on children? Just goes to prove how they're all really false flags, strictly for political spin. A person who's really frustrated with the system would logically take out deserving targets, and they probably do, but we never get to hear about it.

    This may come as a shock to you, but most people who shoot up a school are students at the school they're shooting up. Adam Lanza is basically the only school shooter I can think of who didn't fit this mold, but he still went to that school as a child.
  11. #11
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    I'll be the scalpel in the hand of a drunken god
  12. #12
    STER0S Space Nigga [the disappointingly unanticipated slab]
    that dude's manifesto is my bible
  13. #13
    I don't know but I'd definitely like to see you find out.
    Let me know what happens.
  14. #14
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    remember that kid that blew his head clean off with a KSG?

    apparently he was in some tranny discord and posted photos of himself crossdressing, they blackmailed him and told him they'd send the photos of him to his parents if he didn't start HRT, badabing badaBOOM
  15. #15
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    No no no I decided they wont be sad if I kill myself because they want me to, so I'm gonna wait until next Christmas when all of my family is gathered, and I'm gonna take one of my cousin's babies and slit its throat right in front of everyone and then when they're all horrified and angry at what I've done, I'll tell them that they're right that I'm a bad person and dont deserve to live, and then I'll stand in front of the Christmas tree and blow my brains out with a shotgun, and itll be sort of a happy ending for everyone. 🤩
  16. #16
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    Originally posted by mmQ No no no I decided they wont be sad if I kill myself because they want me to, so I'm gonna wait until next Christmas when all of my family is gathered, and I'm gonna take one of my cousin's babies and slit its throat right in front of everyone and then when they're all horrified and angry at what I've done, I'll tell them that they're right that I'm a bad person and dont deserve to live, and then I'll stand in front of the Christmas tree and blow my brains out with a shotgun, and itll be sort of a happy ending for everyone. 🤩

    do you wanna talk about it lil bomo?
  17. #17
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by A College Professor do you wanna talk about it lil bomo?

    Nah nigga, I wanna be about it.

    Also I'll take french toast. 😘
  18. #18
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    how do you want it cooked
  19. #19
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Sunny side down
  20. #20
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    ORDER UP
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