2015-07-04 at 3:10 AM UTC
So I was just drinking beer, eating ribs and baked beans like a good old country boy when I heard something like heavy boxes being moved around. I didn't think much of it at first, I'm not at my main house, it's one my grand father left me and it's next to a major farm, those guys come in and out all hours of the night so I didn't think too much of it. But it got louder and "closer" until the point it's like hearing your own heart beat.
So finally I walk downstairs into the back yard. There is this wolf looking thing clawing at a picnic table, and I shit you not, it's standing up right but has the face of a man with a big bulbous nose. He looks to be late 50's or early 60's in the face, had horrible acne as a teenager and drank way too much into his adult hood but had movie star quality teeth. Being the witty person I am on sight I say"you need to get the fuck out of here", which he responds to running away on all fours like a dog would. As soon as I walked back inside my internet went down and so did my cell service. I can hear him walking around on my roof now, but I don't have a gun on me to shoot him, and I'm being dead fucking serious.
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2015-07-04 at 4:27 AM UTC
What part of the US? It probably just wants ribs. Your ribs.
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2015-07-04 at 4:32 AM UTC
How are you posting this if you don't have cell service or internet?
inb4 reststop gets killed by a werewolf
2015-07-04 at 6:01 AM UTC
Number13
African Astronaut
[dispute my snotty-nosed seagull]
It's probably a skinwalker but the word is that they can't enter your home unless you invite them in, could be a wendigo too in which case you're fucked.
2015-07-04 at 7:09 AM UTC
-SpectraL
coward
[the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
It's probably looking for a chimney.
Hurry go outside and yell "you need to get the fuck out of here" over and over really loud. It will surely leave
2015-07-04 at 8:41 PM UTC
-SpectraL
coward
[the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
I would rather challenge it. Nothing like a good back and forth with a werewolf. I'd introduce it to a hay-maker to start, then I'd knee it in the stomach, grab its head in a grip of steel headlock, twist it onto its back, and then break its neck with the heel of my foot. That werewolf would wish he never left his mother's cave once I was done with it.
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2017-10-02 at 3:06 AM UTC
-SpectraL
coward
[the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
If you have a silver bullet, but no gun, maybe you can trick him into swallowing it.
2017-10-02 at 3:11 AM UTC
Originally posted by -SpectraL
If you have a silver bullet, but no gun, maybe you can trick him into swallowing it.
he could slather his cock with molten silver than cram it down its gullet...or up its ass.
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2017-10-02 at 3:42 AM UTC
mashlehash
victim of incest
[my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
Not sure if serious
nigga dead
