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I wish I knew more about mania/happiness.

  1. #1
    mmQ victim of incest
    It's pretty bizarre how drastically our minds can go to each end of the spectrum.

    Manic me is so happy, so enthusiastic, energetic, encouraging, passionate, caring, empathizing, sympathizing, concerned, outgoing, generous, willing and wanting to learn, ambitious, creative, etc.

    Then depressed me is just scraps of some of those, sometimes. :(

    I want it back. I want my happiness back. My TRUE happy. I want to be more social when I'm sober. I just dont HAVE IT like I used to. I'm not even horribly depressed lately, it's more of a numbish just whatever. Just go through the routines and get drunk here and there to liven things up.

    Woe is me!! :) whatever. Random blog. Burn me. SOMEONE BURN ME IN THEIR OVEN. I NEEEED IT.
  2. #2
    mmQ victim of incest
    I want to be like 2 or 3 years old when just jumping from one spot to another seems exciting and playing hide and seek is like the biggest deal in the world.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. #3
    Technologist motherfucker
    I have two ways to describe that feeling when I have it.

    Life is living itself and I’m just along for the ride.

    Or

    I feel like I’m just a bystander. Just watching it all, but never really “feeling” it.
  4. #4
    G Tuskegee Airman
    mmq :
    Not sure what your physical activity is like, but getting the heart pumping & blood flowing w/ endorphins,adrenaline etc. is great for power washing that drab sludge off your brain's neurons enabling better chemistry. It's not overnight but it definitely works.
  5. #5
    Originally posted by G mmq :
    Not sure what your physical activity is like, but getting the heart pumping & blood flowing w/ endorphins,adrenaline etc. is great for power washing that drab sludge off your brain's neurons enabling better chemistry. It's not overnight but it definitely works.

    you dont even dare to park your cars where it might get dinged or scratched by shopping carts.
  6. #6
    Sudo Space Nigga [my hereto riemannian peach]
    The point is, let's meet at a motel that is half on the US side and half on Canadas and I'lll smash all the rooms on Americas side and you smash all the rooms on Canada's side and we'll get really fucked up and pee in the pool and every single bathtub and let a bunch of dogs run loose. It'll be ok
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  7. #7
    G Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny you dont even dare to park your cars where it might get dinged or scratched by shopping carts.

    Especially @ my gym I mean what's an extra step or 50 ?!

    Hell I did 10+ miles biking this AM that's not even including muay thai & Soloflex lol.


  8. #8
    mmQ victim of incest
    Originally posted by G mmq :
    Not sure what your physical activity is like, but getting the heart pumping & blood flowing w/ endorphins,adrenaline etc. is great for power washing that drab sludge off your brain's neurons enabling better chemistry. It's not overnight but it definitely works.

    Every time I come to the bathroom i post. Then i go back out and dance .
  9. #9
    Rrr Tuskegee Airman
    i miss obsessing over 9/11 and the rothschilds and the queen of england
  10. #10
    G Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by mmQ Every time I come to the bathroom i post. Then i go back out and dance .

    Calisthenics : push ups,jumping jacks etc. all work mayng.
  11. #11
    Sudo Space Nigga [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by G Especially @ my gym I mean what's an extra step or 50 ?!

    Hell I did 10+ miles biking this AM that's not even including muay thai & Soloflex lol.



    Man I remember seeing you a few years ago and you tended to exaggerate and were badly out of shape so I hope this is not an exaggeration and you are somehow in good physical condition now and cut your hair
  12. #12
    G Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Sudo Man I remember seeing you a few years ago and you tended to exaggerate and were badly out of shape so I hope this is not an exaggeration and you are somehow in good physical condition now and cut your hair

    Lost 27 pounds so far & off the sauce since July, had to refocus for a lucrative job opportunity in 2020. Hair's been gone 5-6 years now lol. "Exaggerate" lol ok kid whatever you think.
  13. #13
    Sudo Space Nigga [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by G Lost 27 pounds so far & off the sauce since July, had to refocus for a lucrative job opportunity in 2020. Hair's been gone 5-6 years now lol. "Exaggerate" lol ok kid whatever you think.

    Did you just "you don't scare me, kid" me?
  14. #14
    G Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Sudo Did you just "you don't scare me, kid" me?

    No I call many heads "kid" especially when they say something a child or young person would say. It's interchangeable w/ "son" etc.
  15. #15
    Sudo Space Nigga [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by G No I call many heads "kid" especially when they say something a child or young person would say. It's interchangeable w/ "son" etc.

    you seem upset. I simply pointed out that you used to be overweight and have long hair and I would call you out on exaggerating a lot in tinychat and you would rageban me then other people would talk to me and be like "dude, just let it go, he's alright he's just like that and he's a mod" and I'd be like "ok lol"

    true story
  16. #16
    G Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Sudo you seem upset. I simply pointed out that you used to be overweight and have long hair and I would call you out on exaggerating a lot in tinychat and you would rageban me then other people would talk to me and be like "dude, just let it go, he's alright he's just like that and he's a mod" and I'd be like "ok lol"

    true story

    "Upset" that's rich lol. I'm trying to recall what maybe misconstrued as "exaggerating" to a bunch of strangers in a chatroom is all. Drunken TC is the wild west as far as bannings & yes the banned tend to group together & find a narrative to justify their disdain much like life,funny how that works. I'm probably going to drop 5-10 pounds more then go hard from tone to bulk. Currently 3 pounds away from my initial goal but I still see room to improve. 30 pounds in 3 months is an honorable accomplishment in my vision. I've done more(50+) previously but it wasn't @ all healthy.

    True story
  17. #17
    Sudo Space Nigga [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by G "Upset" that's rich lol. I'm trying to recall what maybe misconstrued as "exaggerating" to a bunch of strangers in a chatroom is all. Drunken TC is the wild west as far as bannings & yes they tend to group together & find a narrative to justify their disdain for banishment much like life,funny how that works.

    It's all good baby. It's still rock n roll to me
  18. #18
    DietPiano Naturally Camouflaged
    When I got mania it was usually just really scary because I either didn't know what was going on or I was having intense hallucinations that almost got me severely injured or arrested and I also obviously didn't know what was going on
  19. #19
    G Tuskegee Airman
    I weigh myself Fridays I should be @ or below my initial goal weight. But I'm going to go 5-10 lower. Once I dug my vintage Soloflex out in Oct. the weight's been dropping like a AIDS patient lol.
  20. #20
    Originally posted by G Lost 27 pounds so far & off the sauce since July, had to refocus for a lucrative job opportunity in 2020. Hair's been gone 5-6 years now lol. "Exaggerate" lol ok kid whatever you think.

    I just relapsed and binged on a 250 cal pack of M&Ms smh fam smh
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