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I wish that I had Jessie's girl

  1. #1
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    So this weekend, a few of my friends went camping, but I said no because I'm radically introverted and can't stand long, multi-day periods around other people.

    But then one of my friends had car troubles and had to go up a day late, and was ready and willing to pick me up on the way (I live in the boonies so it's always on the way).

    Anyway, when they get here, the first thing I notice is my friend's girlfriend's ass in those yoga pants (gnomesayin?).

    But I also respect the heck out of her. And of course I respect the heck out of my friend.

    His gf and I get drunk during the drive up, then when we get there, we all drink and even do some shrooms. A thunderstorm at a dark beach made it especially interesting.

    The next day, we get back into town, and I invite my friend and his gf over for a few drinks.

    She literally cleaned my apartment.

    Like... I don't know how she does it so efficiently, but every time she comes over (she does this all the time), she just transforms my apartment from a sketchy as fuck trap house into a beautiful zen palace.

    I'm so damn jealous, but he is a close friend that I care about and respect, so I'm happy for his happiness.

    But damn.

    Why can't I find a woman like that?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    BobDob99999 Yung Blood
    let the toilet overflow for 12 hours again
  3. #3
    Grylls motherfucker [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    But imagine what sheโ€™s like behind closed doors, she might be a complete psycho?

    Pic?
  4. #4
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by BobDob99999 let the toilet overflow for 12 hours again

    new phone who dis?
  5. #5
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Grylls But imagine what sheโ€™s like behind closed doors, she might be a complete psycho?

    Pic?

    All women are psychos, though...

    It's about finding the least psycho one.
  6. #6
    G4LM African Astronaut
    Clean your fuckin place man
  7. #7
    Originally posted by gadzooks So this weekend, a few of my friends went camping, but I said no because I'm radically introverted and can't stand long, multi-day periods around other people.

    But then one of my friends had car troubles and had to go up a day late, and was ready and willing to pick me up on the way (I live in the boonies so it's always on the way).

    Anyway, when they get here, the first thing I notice is my friend's girlfriend's ass in those yoga pants (gnomesayin?).

    But I also respect the heck out of her. And of course I respect the heck out of my friend.

    His gf and I get drunk during the drive up, then when we get there, we all drink and even do some shrooms. A thunderstorm at a dark beach made it especially interesting.

    The next day, we get back into town, and I invite my friend and his gf over for a few drinks.

    She literally cleaned my apartment.

    Like… I don't know how she does it so efficiently, but every time she comes over (she does this all the time), she just transforms my apartment from a sketchy as fuck trap house into a beautiful zen palace.

    I'm so damn jealous, but he is a close friend that I care about and respect, so I'm happy for his happiness.

    But damn.

    Why can't I find a woman like that?

    if you care about friend you should stop going camping with him and his girlfriend. its never a good idea to go camping with cocks out numbering pussies. one day they are going to make love in your presence and your going to get jelli and murder-rape could ensue.

    example :

    https://www.mercurynews.com/2019/07/23/canadian-tourist-murders-missing-teens-are-now-suspects/
  8. #8
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Or he should just learn to get his own pussy
  9. #9
    Grylls motherfucker [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby Or he should just learn to get his own pussy

    thats really rich coming from a rapist
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  10. #10
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by Grylls thats really rich coming from a rapist

    You can't rape the willing fam lol ๐Ÿ˜‚
  11. #11
    G4LM African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby You can't rape the willing fam lol ๐Ÿ˜‚

    This is what Bill Krozby says right before he stuffs the cloroform rag over her mouth
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. #12
    Sudo African Astronaut [my hereto riemannian peach]
    gadzooks, are you down with OPP?

    Its satisfying to nut on a girls tattoo of their boyfriends name
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  13. #13
    mmQ motherfucker
    Originally posted by G4LM This is what Bill Krozby says right before he stuffs the cloroform rag over her mouth

    I never knew chloroform was just bleach and rubbing alcohol. Ha! I'm gonna make like 10 super loaded up rags today (kinda like my jizz rags, by with chloroform) and bring them all to kmart or the library later on and test em out.
  14. #14
    G4LM African Astronaut
    Originally posted by mmQ I never knew chloroform was just bleach and rubbing alcohol. Ha! I'm gonna make like 10 super loaded up rags today (kinda like my jizz rags, by with chloroform) and bring them all to kmart or the library later on and test em out.

    Who's gonna pick up a crusty rag?
  15. #15
    mmQ motherfucker
    Originally posted by G4LM Who's gonna pick up a crusty rag?

    I'll put notes next to them that have instructions to huff the rag for a few minutes and theyll be handsomely rewarded or some shit
  16. #16
    G4LM African Astronaut
    Originally posted by mmQ I'll put notes next to them that have instructions to huff the rag for a few minutes and theyll be handsomely rewarded or some shit

    I'm imaging someone stupid enough to fall for this

    "Hot damn, a reward!?" *huffs feverently*
  17. #17
    ๐Ÿฟ African Astronaut
    Originally posted by mmQ I never knew chloroform was just bleach and rubbing alcohol. Ha! I'm gonna make like 10 super loaded up rags today (kinda like my jizz rags, by with chloroform) and bring them all to kmart or the library later on and test em out.

    Kmart shut down.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  18. #18
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by ๐Ÿฟ Kmart shut down.

    Wrong
  19. #19
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by G4LM Who's gonna pick up a crusty rag?

    Probably you with your mouth considering you're a cum guzzling faggot
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  20. #20
    mmQ motherfucker
    Originally posted by ๐Ÿฟ Kmart shut down.

    We have one of the last ones around; its closing in December. Plenty of time left for chlorofun.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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